loneliness

[ever so lonely]

so lonely i could cry, i think the worst is never having close connections whether male or female, forgetting what it is to feel loved, wanted, respected, my whole life i have only known rejections, put downs, made to feel inferior, and made to feel unworthy, only my family ever truly cared, and they are gone, for the most part, i cant wait to die guys/gals, anybody relate ?

 

[AnonymousS]

so lonely i could cry, i think the worst is never having close connections whether male or female, forgetting what it is to feel loved, wanted, respected, my whole life i have only known rejections, put downs, made to feel inferior, and made to feel unworthy, only my family ever truly cared, and they are gone, for the most part, i cant wait to die guys/gals, anybody relate ?

Yes, i am estranged from my "blood relatives" as i call them, however that is a good thing for me. I do have a couple of lovely friends, but they are far away. I know some great people online, but really i could go weeks without speaking to anyone. Isolation is deadly too, it's not natural for humans to be deprived from human contact, love, etc.

 

[lifeisadream]

Sorry to hear about your family situation, must be incredibly difficult for you.
Completely relate. All through life get ghosted by people due to crippling social anxiety. At work have to act my way through the day to appear "normal" & if I do venture out, again, it's yet more acting to make it through being around others. It hurts like hell & is oh so tiring. I feel your pain.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I relate. I am lonely and limerent for a woman I will most probably never be with because I wasted my chances with her. It is horrible enough to be depressed every waking moment of my life, but limerence adds another dimension of suffering for me to revel in. I cannot stop thinking about her. I don't intend to romanticize this or anything. This is mentally painful. She is the first thing I think about when I awake and the last thing I think about before I fall asleep. I have rejected other romantic partners because of her. Even when I am actively not thinking about her, like now as i type these words out, I still have her in the back of my mind. I honestly wish I never met her. At least no faint hope of love and companionship would disturb my loneliness.

 

[Arvinneedstodie]

I'm probably a bit of an extreme case, but I've never truly made any "connection" with anyone in my whole life. I'm 26 and I don't have anyone that I can truly talk to, not a single soul to share my thoughts and life with. Everywhere I go I feel like an alien walking in places I don't belong and dodging around people that I can't communicate with, even though I was born in that hospital only 15 mins away. Sure I do have a "family", a family that neglected and abused me growing up creating so much lifetime damages that have really destroyed me in so many ways, damages that I'm just starting to realize and understand thanks to Ketamine therapy. Oh and time does not make it easier to deal with loneliness, it burns slowly and painfully. Every year I'd think that I've become numb to it and that there is no more pain left to feel, it burns into another layer of me deeper and deeper.