Venting Loneliness has taken away everything from me.

[whoami?]

I have given up on Everything. Absolutely Everything.

I used to live in Australia till I was 9 and then idk my family decided to move to their native country and I hate it here. It's so different from Aus. Somehow with all the difficulties I did do my best to push through. But when I started to think that I'm getting used to it disaster struck.
Two years back from now I was again all happy had some friends but still I was missing something.. I never in this life found a person who I felt that deep feeling of connection with...A person in whoms company I could have said "that's my buddy". Last year we moved into a new place and I got even more lonely. Now I got hit with Trauma, And my mind just completely broke... I started noticing that I'm not able to learn anything. I was diagnosed with learning disorders and tinnitus. Doctors have put me on anti depressants and can't seem to find the actual problem with my brain. And this makes me think that I should kill myself. I have severe self esteem issues , now I can't even do the things I loved to do the most... I don't believe in myself anymore... Like no self belief at all. So I see nothing for me cause can't study Nor can work for my passion cause I don't believe in myself anymore.

The other major issue I'm going through is that I'm always the "Nice Guy" Always giving love to people more than they deserve.. Even tho they hate me. Always there to help and putting all into making people feel good. Maybe I do this because I know what it feels like to be lonely and ignored. As a result of all of this people push me away. Leaving the question in my head "Do I even deserve love" ? Im just so tried . I just fantasize about sitting on a snowy mountain top with someone who actually cares and loves me far away from this world. I just wanna disappear.

Sorry guys I started crying while typing this. The reason I posted this here is because there might be people here going through similar stuff and might be able to exchange thoughts and who knows maybe I'll get some peace by that.I don't even know if I was able to explain myself correctly . I'm just too alone and it fucking hurts.
If anyone feels the same way you can DM me OR if anyone wants to talk to me you can DM me anyways❤.

 

[Plutopolis]

Hey there, reading your post struck a chord in me. I feel so so alone as well. And just like you, I tend to try and make other not feel so alone because I know what it's like. I don't know what the solution is. But it is strangely comforting to know someone else, somewhere, feels similar. DM me if you want to talk. I can't for some reason, can't DM on this site for some reason

 

[Chuuya-Chan ⋆. 𐙚˚]

I understand what you're going through, I've gotten diagnosed with similar things.

Thing is, I have found at least THREE people in this world that seem to understand me and really care about me?! It's actually be four if I count my sister.

I'm not doing this to brag, but my entire life has been turned upside down halfway through this year.

And through all these tribulations I've met people I'd never think I'd meet.

Maybe things might be different, for you since you're a guy but so much can change…I never thought I'd get where I am, and things still aren't perfect I still feel extremely down sometimes but they help.

Main think I'll say is try to find acceptance with your loneliness first, people can SMELL desperation and they run. You need to accept it, ut might take a while but your life could change like mine

 

[whoami?]

Hey there, reading your post struck a chord in me. I feel so so alone as well. And just like you, I tend to try and make other not feel so alone because I know what it's like. I don't know what the solution is. But it is strangely comforting to know someone else, somewhere, feels similar. DM me if you want to talk. I can't for some reason, can't DM on this site for some reason

Hey! I'll love to talk idk I can't DM either but u can mail me at "[email protected]"
And I can give you my socials there

I understand what you're going through, I've gotten diagnosed with similar things.

Thing is, I have found at least THREE people in this world that seem to understand me and really care about me?! It's actually be four if I count my sister.

I'm not doing this to brag, but my entire life has been turned upside down halfway through this year.

And through all these tribulations I've met people I'd never think I'd meet.

Maybe things might be different, for you since you're a guy but so much can change…I never thought I'd get where I am, and things still aren't perfect I still feel extremely down sometimes but they help.

Main think I'll say is try to find acceptance with your loneliness first, people can SMELL desperation and they run. You need to accept it, ut might take a while but your life could change like mine

Yeah maybe I have to accept the fact... Thanks for your advice means a lot