I

idontknow42

Member
Jan 31, 2021
71
How do I get it over and done with? I need to get in the mood to do it, but I can't be bothered. I already have SN.

I have no interest in life. I have never had an interest in life. I spend my life just scrolling my phone in bed. There's nothing that I'd rather be doing. I've tried everything. Moved abroad alone, started going to the gym, travelled to multiple countries, and it goes on. Nothing works. It's all meh. Had sex for the first time, and it was nothing but blah. I don't care about it. My sex drive is non existant. I am also aromantic. Growing up I never longed to have a relationship like every other person. I'm not interested in ever having one. I don't care about having any friends either. Tried some "crazy" stuff that would thrill the normal person, such as skydiving and bungee jumping, I felt nothing. Oh yes, I also tried going to the doctor, and after a chain of endless referrals, I told them that I'm not coming back. I'm now broke and soon won't be able to pay my rent or other expenses. I don't have a job.

Life is only about - relationships (I don't want), sex (I don't want), money (I don't want, already had quite a lot and lost it to gambling addiction. It's useless when you feel like me), passions/hobbies (I don't have any. Don't tell me to try and find one, I literally can't develop a long term interest in anything).

So yeah. I think my reasons are valid. Can I get a bus ticket?
 
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Reactions: pthnrdnojvsc, Anon1337 and Source Energy
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,962
To me, life really is something that is so incredibly unappealing, all that humans do is repeat meaningless tasks on a loop until they deteriorate from old age, life is both tedious and futile so it's completely understandable having no interest in this. I personally know that I could never wish to exist here no matter what. But I don't really think that you can force yourself to go through with ctb though, I just think that only the individual knows when it's the right time to leave.
 
Shadowlord900

Shadowlord900

Seeker of Darkness
Sep 29, 2022
921
Regardless of the circumstances and reasons, you don't need to justify to others why you want to CTB, only you can decide whether you want to live life or not.

...But me personally, I think being broke is more than enough of a valid reason to want to CTB. ;^^ I only hope you also have some antiemetics, plus enough SN for backup glasses if in case you still vomit.
 

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