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DenseWoodsCadaver

DenseWoodsCadaver

Member
Jan 15, 2026
15
I tend to harm myself for the sole purpose to feel something, cutting, punching, slapping. I always felt so empty, I always felt like there was a physical pit in my chest that required feeling something for it to be complete? Theres also a certain anger I feel at people that I take out on myself, I find myself wanting to harm others really badly, I want to punch, hit, kick, knee someone in the stomach all the time. I'm so frustrated with everything, I'm so tired.
Lately I find myself enjoying that in intimacy, as if theyre helping me feel something, it feels good to get hit and I think that's why it does, because I never really felt anything to its full extent and the physical pain makes up for it. It gives me a certain feeling, is this masochism?
However the idea of me harming people doesnt make me enjoy it in a sexual manner, but I'd feel amused if I got to mess with someone in a physical manner, so I don't know what that is, I don't get off on the idea of me beating the shit out of someone, but it does bring me satisfaction, I hate everyone so badly.
One of my biggest fantasies is getting punched in the face
 
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