Living life is a torture, I can’t be a faker pretending that I’m a normal person.

[Waiting for death]

I'm making a huge effort getting up at 4:30am to work in a farm where I'm aware that the owner will fire me soon. I can't do even crappy jobs such as picking up nut . I'm struggling with motivation to stay alive. I don't have any ambition, because I'll be dead soon.

Why is life so difficult? Why are dreams and goals just an illusion? I hate toxic positivity that things will get better, I've been tortured and tempted by this for nearly five years. Nothing happens in my life even death.

I can't live a life where I can't be or have what I was dreaming for. My dream is to have a peaceful death. I wish I could sleep and never wake up again. I can't wait for the New Year's Eve. I can't be here for too long because it's a torture living a life without purpose.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's really understandable just wishing to never wake again, I find it cruel how we cannot have the option to easily die in a guaranteed peaceful way. But anyway I wish you the best, I also hate that kind of toxic positivity, it's just so incredibly insensitive.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

It's incredibly difficult to achieve goals and ambitions because the odds are usually against us in this dreadful world.
The world is descending into chaos and society is falling apart so what is there to get motivated about ?
The only people who seem to get ahead in life are usually the ones who are making everyone else's life a misery such as politicians and bankers.
We are denied a decent standard of life, and denied our dreams because everything revolves around money.
Life is definitely hard, and it just gets harder as time goes on these days.

 

[R_N]

The worst part for me was fakeness and pretending I have a good time. Or that I like people I was talking to.

I hate how others created a system of "normalcy" that I have to follow and enjoy regardless what I think or feel.

 

[Waiting for death]

It's really understandable just wishing to never wake again, I find it cruel how we cannot have the option to easily die in a guaranteed peaceful way. But anyway I wish you the best, I also hate that kind of toxic positivity, it's just so incredibly insensitive.

Thank you very much

The worst part for me was fakeness and pretending I have a good time. Or that I like people I was talking to.

I hate how others created a system of "normalcy" that I have to follow and enjoy regardless what I think or feel.

I'm a faker towards my family, they think I'm okay but in fact, I'm just faking my real feelings.