Story Live your life to the fullest until you can CTB successfully

[ctb_warrior]

If dying was easy, most people here would be ghosts by now..
If living was easy, we wouldn't need this site in the first place..
This world is so cruel, it doesn't let's us live peacefully, nor does it lets us die peacefully.
There's not enough methods that work with a guarantee. i have been trying to ctb for 23 years and I'm still here. Tried so many times and failed. Many of them were absolutely desperate attempts where i didn't even let SI stop me.

The one advice that I'll give you all.. As i don't know when we will be able to ctb successfully finally.

Until then, enjoy life to the best you can. Be selfish, be bold, do what you like. Play that game you love, watch the movie you like, paint that painting you love, play the music you enjoy. Propose that partner you like without the fear of rejection, the worst they can say is no. Buy that car you like. Party hard.

I had a terrible interview yesterday.. i felt sad for a few minutes. I changed my mind and i thought to myself, why should i let a crappy interview ruin my mood. Ok i did get to learn my weakness in that interview that i can work to improve..i was having a 100% streak, and I'm still hopeful that I'll get selected despite messing up yesterday's interview, but who cares. I did my best and I leave the rest to destiny.

So, i ordered my favourite food and enjoyed it.
Later in the evening, i bought rum and got high.
I listened to songs, talked to my friends here on sasu.

So, i practice what i preach, because i know there's no point of being sad while I'm still alive. I'm actively looking for methods. But keeping myself happy, doing the things that make me happy. Your mind needs to be distracted. Distract it towards Good things. Change the background music of your life and watch it change how you feel.

Why waste time being sad, when we will anyways ctb at some point in time, so live life to the fullest, be fearless


Cheers

 

[Minnieflower:)]

I wish I could think this way :/ I use to feel like this until I realized those small moments of enjoyment and content made it hard to override my SI and even though I was severely desperate to attempt or even SH I couldn't get myself to do it because it felt wrong. Enjoying anything to the fullest means denying myself the chance to truly achieve what I want which is to die. I hope everyone who thinks like you can enjoy those moments for people like me, the ups and downs from the enjoyment to the process of following through with CTB makes it really hard to focus on my main goal. I really hope I can do it before the end of the year before something comes along to distract me, I've been trying to withdraw and talk to my friends less, watch more "sad" content, and sort of isolate myself/not try anything new to sort of lock in on what I'm trying to do and so far it's been helping.

Would you mind sharing a little about your previous attempts and why you think they didn't work? Do you ever have any moments like the ones I mentioned? Where trying new thing or attempting to feel fulfilled make it harder to follow through with CTB?

 

[ctb_warrior]

I wish I could think this way :/ I use to feel like this until I realized those small moments of enjoyment and content made it hard to override my SI and even though I was severely desperate to attempt or even SH I couldn't get myself to do it because it felt wrong. Enjoying anything to the fullest means denying myself the chance to truly achieve what I want which is to die. I hope everyone who thinks like you can enjoy those moments for people like me, the ups and downs from the enjoyment to the process of following through with CTB makes it really hard to focus on my main goal. I really hope I can do it before the end of the year before something comes along to distract me, I've been trying to withdraw and talk to my friends less, watch more "sad" content, and sort of isolate myself/not try anything new to sort of lock in on what I'm trying to do and so far it's been helping.

Would you mind sharing a little about your previous attempts and why you think they didn't work? Do you ever have any moments like the ones I mentioned? Where trying new thing or attempting to feel fulfilled make it harder to follow through with CTB?

Firstly, a warm welcome to SaSu I can see that you've recently joined.

Your message reminded me of something. I used to find bliss in listening to sad songs as a teenager. I literally listened to them all the time.
Later on, i started listening to upbeat ones. Now I no longer enjoy sad ones.

In my case, I'll be honest with you. I'm not depressed right now in any way. Everything is going smoothly in my life right now. I have no reason to CTB at this very moment. But....
I still want to ctb because i have an opportunity coming up this week. Why? Because I have waited for this moment for 23 years and I know I have no intention to live for another 36 years. So, I'll go via CTB in this life, so why wait for the future.
So, I'm living life to the fullest, I'm ordering my favourite food, i watch my favourite TV shows, i do all sorts of things that make me feel normal. My parents think i have improved. Only if they knew what's going on in my head.

Talking about my past attempts, why it failed.
Google used to tell me that OD on benzos can lead to death. The naive me believed that. I ODed multiple times in multiple variations. All of them failed. I also tried crazy stuff like drinking phenyl, eating naphthalene balls, rat kill, i tried PSH. So, i think the main reason of failure was lack of proper knowledge. I used to consider Google my guru to search for ways.. But Google was never enough. I did think of crude ways like train track, jumping from height, electrocution, accident with a fast moving truck. I never had the guts to try these. I'm happy I didn't try one of these because all of these can lead to survival.

Yes, it has happened with me too.
Whenever I was in a relationship, I used to feel fulfilled and I never even thought once about CTB.
Though it has a neurochemical reason. Love helps you get proper dose of oxytocin and other feel good hormones, and that makes you outgoing and makes you feel invincible that you can fight the world and still win.

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I'm trying, but I'm tired and even managing hygiene to not feel self conscious leaving the house is hard

 

[h4ppyhypoxia]

thank you, i needed to hear this, ive started a new tv show (but its hard to focus) and ive been less restrictive with my eating since ive set this decision in stone, at first i wanted to just keep losing weight, but ill be gone soon, i want to just be able to enjoy food in my final moments, which is hard, but its something that im fighting for

ive made plans with some friends as well so ill have some good experiences before its my time to go, im trying to find small moments of joy towards the end, its hard, but i deserve it

i think about it like this, you see clips online of people who are about to put their dogs down, and they do so much for them, they take them to the beach, they let them eat chocolate, they give them extra love, its silly, but thats how i want to treat myself, i want to end on a positive note, its a challenge, but its one that im taking up, its not like ive got anything to lose

 

[ctb_warrior]

I'm trying, but I'm tired and even managing hygiene to not feel self conscious leaving the house is hard

I know it can be difficult. I don't even shave and cut my nails for weeks and if you looked at my room last month, it was a mess. So, everything is ok. Do the best you can don't be too hard on yourself. Life has already been pretty hard on us

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

I know it can be difficult. I don't even shave and cut my nails for weeks and if you looked at my room last month, it was a mess. So, everything is ok. Do the best you can don't be too hard on yourself. Life has already been pretty hard on us

I'm scared to b a greaseball in my hometown I rlly want candy but don't wanna shower before going to the grocery store, so no candy for me lol.

 

[ctb_warrior]

thank you, i needed to hear this, ive started a new tv show (but its hard to focus) and ive been less restrictive with my eating since ive set this decision in stone, at first i wanted to just keep losing weight, but ill be gone soon, i want to just be able to enjoy food in my final moments, which is hard, but its something that im fighting for

ive made plans with some friends as well so ill have some good experiences before its my time to go, im trying to find small moments of joy towards the end, its hard, but i deserve it

i think about it like this, you see clips online of people who are about to put their dogs down, and they do so much for them, they take them to the beach, they let them eat chocolate, they give them extra love, its silly, but thats how i want to treat myself, i want to end on a positive note, its a challenge, but its one that im taking up, its not like ive got anything to lose

I'm really happy that you are planning on enjoying life as much as you can. Setting the CTB date gives another level of control and confidence.
They say, live life like there's no tomorrow
Make the most out of it. And, yes, you deserve those moments of joy. You have decided to go too early, so you deserve to live and enjoy the live you've always wanted for yourself. Be selfish towards it. It's self care.

I'm scared to b a greaseball in my hometown I rlly want candy but don't wanna shower before going to the grocery store, so no candy for me lol.

Haha it's pretty much relatable. I had a guest that showed up today at my home. I was not wearing proper dress. Just old stuff with my beard my father asked me to meet him and i felt awkward. I didn't want to meet him in that state lol. But had no option

I'm scared to b a greaseball in my hometown I rlly want candy but don't wanna shower before going to the grocery store, so no candy for me lol.

Haha it's pretty much relatable. I had a guest that showed up today at my home. I was not wearing proper dress. Just old stuff with my beard my father asked me to meet him and i felt awkward. I didn't want to meet him in that state lol. But had no option

 

[lostinthecha0s]

Sometimes it feels easier said than done. I've been sewing my little pony plushies and selling them for a few hundred dollars and everyone around me is so proud I have a new job yet I still feel so numb and empty. Nothing seems to bring me joy in a way that it goes for other people. I feel like my brain has a tamper on how much I'm able to enjoy life before it needs to drag me down

I go to concerts. I eat meals I like. I drag my feet through the days as they come. But in the back of my head if I never woke up again I wouldn't be disappointed.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Sometimes it feels easier said than done. I've been sewing my little pony plushies and selling them for a few hundred dollars and everyone around me is so proud I have a new job yet I still feel so numb and empty. Nothing seems to bring me joy in a way that it goes for other people. I feel like my brain has a tamper on how much I'm able to enjoy life before it needs to drag me down

I go to concerts. I eat meals I like. I drag my feet through the days as they come. But in the back of my head if I never woke up again I wouldn't be disappointed.

I can feel you buddy.. Though I'm also proud of you that you are earning on your own you deserve a pat on the back.

You know what, what you said is right. That's the case with me as well. I'm enjoying my life as much as possible, but deep down I'm just a zombie, these things are not giving me any sense of fulfillment, it's more like passing time in a better way. Otherwise, i feel I'm just like a leaf moving with the wind with no direction of its own.
And tbh, i can afford all my childhood dreams today.. chocolates, PS5, car, gadgets, piano, but i don't feel like buying them. Because they'll not make me happy anymore.
My brother asked me to play Xbox game that I used to play as a teen, that game has been remastered with great graphics, i still didn't feel like playing it.. So yeah, i understand
And tbh, i can afford all my childhood dreams today.. chocolates, PS5, car, gadgets, piano, but i don't feel like buying them. Because they'll not make me happy anymore.
My brother asked me to play Xbox game that I used to play as a teen, that game has been remastered with great graphics, i still didn't feel like playing it.. So yeah, i understand

 

[Minnieflower:)]

Firstly, a warm welcome to SaSu I can see that you've recently joined.

Your message reminded me of something. I used to find bliss in listening to sad songs as a teenager. I literally listened to them all the time.
Later on, i started listening to upbeat ones. Now I no longer enjoy sad ones.

In my case, I'll be honest with you. I'm not depressed right now in any way. Everything is going smoothly in my life right now. I have no reason to CTB at this very moment. But....
I still want to ctb because i have an opportunity coming up this week. Why? Because I have waited for this moment for 23 years and I know I have no intention to live for another 36 years. So, I'll go via CTB in this life, so why wait for the future.
So, I'm living life to the fullest, I'm ordering my favourite food, i watch my favourite TV shows, i do all sorts of things that make me feel normal. My parents think i have improved. Only if they knew what's going on in my head.

Talking about my past attempts, why it failed.
Google used to tell me that OD on benzos can lead to death. The naive me believed that. I ODed multiple times in multiple variations. All of them failed. I also tried crazy stuff like drinking phenyl, eating naphthalene balls, rat kill, i tried PSH. So, i think the main reason of failure was lack of proper knowledge. I used to consider Google my guru to search for ways.. But Google was never enough. I did think of crude ways like train track, jumping from height, electrocution, accident with a fast moving truck. I never had the guts to try these. I'm happy I didn't try one of these because all of these can lead to survival.

Yes, it has happened with me too.
Whenever I was in a relationship, I used to feel fulfilled and I never even thought once about CTB.
Though it has a neurochemical reason. Love helps you get proper dose of oxytocin and other feel good hormones, and that makes you outgoing and makes you feel invincible that you can fight the world and still win.

Thank you for the welcome!! I see what you're saying and I'm glad things are working out for you at the moment :) I do have a question though and not to say that you're not serious about CBT, but how do you plan to go through with it if you're constantly putting in the work to make your life better? Wouldn't that create stronger survival instincts for when the time comes or sort of trick your brain into thinking you're no longer depressed or suicidal? Again I am just genuinely curious because I was in your situation sort of trying to really enjoy everything to the max, being around friends spreading love doing great at work and putting effort into everything. I realized this distracted me a lot from what I really wanted and now I still do this when I feel content but much more mellowed out.

I guess for me it's more about maintaining a balance I have very strong daydreaming and dissociative tendencies and being in a state where I consistently feel happy emotions, sort of distracts me from reality but that then leads to intense and excessive behaviors where I forget about reality and don't think about my future or life at all. And then when I come back to reality it's like well I probably shouldn't have done that because it's like a very strong whiplash and that makes my brain foggy.

Also the google part of so relatable I'm glad I was able to find this forum through Wikipedia since there's so much more useful info here

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

The thing is though, what if we fail. If I add 8 to 13 kgs I will be sluggish and more depressed to work on another attempt or variation. If I blow all my money, I will have none for further supplies etc. I guess we can loosen up a bit however.

 

[ctb_warrior]

Thank you for the welcome!! I see what you're saying and I'm glad things are working out for you at the moment :) I do have a question though and not to say that you're not serious about CBT, but how do you plan to go through with it if you're constantly putting in the work to make your life better? Wouldn't that create stronger survival instincts for when the time comes or sort of trick your brain into thinking you're no longer depressed or suicidal? Again I am just genuinely curious because I was in your situation sort of trying to really enjoy everything to the max, being around friends spreading love doing great at work and putting effort into everything. I realized this distracted me a lot from what I really wanted and now I still do this when I feel content but much more mellowed out.

I guess for me it's more about maintaining a balance I have very strong daydreaming and dissociative tendencies and being in a state where I consistently feel happy emotions, sort of distracts me from reality but that then leads to intense and excessive behaviors where I forget about reality and don't think about my future or life at all. And then when I come back to reality it's like well I probably shouldn't have done that because it's like a very strong whiplash and that makes my brain foggy.

Also the google part of so relatable I'm glad I was able to find this forum through Wikipedia since there's so much more useful info here

Great question there.
In my case, i have gone through this loop several times where I lived a good life, and life punched me in the face, and I tried to CTB but as it used to fail, I had to return to life and try to improve it again and this cycle continued forever. I have had several ups and downs. Ups where I was on top of the sky with lots of friends cheering for me and downs where I hit absolutely rock bottom, all alone by myself. So, now I'm tired of staying stuck in this loop. So, even though I'm on the way up, but life's gonna punch me again, like always. To be honest, I'm not even doing anything to make my life better. It's happening on its own. But yes, even if my life was not going good, I would still try to focus on the things that distract me from feeling terrible. In the month of June, I was jobless and I was supposed to upskill to use that time. I bought a very costly course. I didn't go through it. I used to lie down on my bed and do deep breathing. It used to be so relaxing.

Interestingly, if living a good life distracts you from ctb and helps you enjoy and delay your CTB plan, isn't that a good thing? I mean you can enjoy your life more without feeling bad.
I'll tell you a funny thing. I have been good at academics without doing the hardwork. I never used to worry about the future. I just lived life one day at a time and I have still come this far, where I am a computer science engineer with a good reputation and I'm earning a pretty decent salary, something that most people around me are not having. this is not even my full potential, I could have been doing really great, thrice as much as what it is now. But why to bother about life? Live life, enjoy life while you are here. We all have to die one day, whether we ctb or not. So, it's ok to get distracted. And you can survive without being perfect at life. Just do your bare minimum that's required. We can live a happy low profile life too. I noticed, whenever I went high profile, life used to kick me harder. I feel it's peaceful away from people, just to be in one's own world. Go to work, do the bare minimum, no need to be the top employee, earn a salary, save some and spend the rest.

Anyways, this is my thought based on how I have experienced life. Everyone has a different storyline with their own challenges and strengths, so may be what I wrote will not be universally applicable.

As far as the SI is concerned, if I have a method I can be confident about and if I have thought about my plan properly, with all the pros and cons and I have come to the conclusion that I can CTB, I'll have no SI as I have attempted it in the past out of desperation where thanks to Google, I used to be confident that I have enough benzodiazepine to CTB.
Yeah, my SI would seriously kick in methods like hanging, jumping, using a firearm, using train track, electrocution, etc where it doesn't give me a guarantee. If I talk about my current method that's SN, i do have couple of fears-
1. What if the SN is not pure enough or old
2. What if the SN is not SN but totally different compound
3. What if I end up throwing up the entire SN drink
4. What if one of my parent visit my room while I'm in the middle of the CTB process

These are the questions in my head because these situations can lead me to another failed attempt. I don't have the strength to go to ICU again and return to life after being given Methylene blue. While the good thing about my chosen method is, SN doesn't causes permanent damage. The only major challenge is, if my family becomes aware again that I'm having CTB mindset, they'll become stricter than they are now, which will force me to survive for several years. I don't want that at any cost.

So, these are some of the things that are going on in my head.

My suggestion on this front to you from my experience is, if life feels worthwhile if u live it well, then there's no loss in living it a bit more, you can CTB anytime in the future. As I'm proChoice so, I wish you love, luck and success in everything you choose

Feel free to ask if you have any more questions. Your questions were really interesting, it made me think about things in detail.

 

[PeaceSeeker83]

Great question there.
In my case, i have gone through this loop several times where I lived a good life, and life punched me in the face, and I tried to CTB but as it used to fail, I had to return to life and try to improve it again and this cycle continued forever. I have had several ups and downs. Ups where I was on top of the sky with lots of friends cheering for me and downs where I hit absolutely rock bottom, all alone by myself. So, now I'm tired of staying stuck in this loop. So, even though I'm on the way up, but life's gonna punch me again, like always. To be honest, I'm not even doing anything to make my life better. It's happening on its own. But yes, even if my life was not going good, I would still try to focus on the things that distract me from feeling terrible. In the month of June, I was jobless and I was supposed to upskill to use that time. I bought a very costly course. I didn't go through it. I used to lie down on my bed and do deep breathing. It used to be so relaxing.

Interestingly, if living a good life distracts you from ctb and helps you enjoy and delay your CTB plan, isn't that a good thing? I mean you can enjoy your life more without feeling bad.
I'll tell you a funny thing. I have been good at academics without doing the hardwork. I never used to worry about the future. I just lived life one day at a time and I have still come this far, where I am a computer science engineer with a good reputation and I'm earning a pretty decent salary, something that most people around me are not having. this is not even my full potential, I could have been doing really great, thrice as much as what it is now. But why to bother about life? Live life, enjoy life while you are here. We all have to die one day, whether we ctb or not. So, it's ok to get distracted. And you can survive without being perfect at life. Just do your bare minimum that's required. We can live a happy low profile life too. I noticed, whenever I went high profile, life used to kick me harder. I feel it's peaceful away from people, just to be in one's own world. Go to work, do the bare minimum, no need to be the top employee, earn a salary, save some and spend the rest.

Anyways, this is my thought based on how I have experienced life. Everyone has a different storyline with their own challenges and strengths, so may be what I wrote will not be universally applicable.

As far as the SI is concerned, if I have a method I can be confident about and if I have thought about my plan properly, with all the pros and cons and I have come to the conclusion that I can CTB, I'll have no SI as I have attempted it in the past out of desperation where thanks to Google, I used to be confident that I have enough benzodiazepine to CTB.
Yeah, my SI would seriously kick in methods like hanging, jumping, using a firearm, using train track, electrocution, etc where it doesn't give me a guarantee. If I talk about my current method that's SN, i do have couple of fears-
1. What if the SN is not pure enough or old
2. What if the SN is not SN but totally different compound
3. What if I end up throwing up the entire SN drink
4. What if one of my parent visit my room while I'm in the middle of the CTB process

These are the questions in my head because these situations can lead me to another failed attempt. I don't have the strength to go to ICU again and return to life after being given Methylene blue. While the good thing about my chosen method is, SN doesn't causes permanent damage. The only major challenge is, if my family becomes aware again that I'm having CTB mindset, they'll become stricter than they are now, which will force me to survive for several years. I don't want that at any cost.

So, these are some of the things that are going on in my head.

My suggestion on this front to you from my experience is, if life feels worthwhile if u live it well, then there's no loss in living it a bit more, you can CTB anytime in the future. As I'm proChoice so, I wish you love, luck and success in everything you choose

Feel free to ask if you have any more questions. Your questions were really interesting, it made me think about things in detail.

You are right about the SN. There are no absolute 100 percent guarantees. But we must have back ups and an ability to vary things and try again.

And as you alluded to, loosen up a bit in the meantime. Otherwise we risk doing something stupid or nothing at all by being perfectionists.

 

[ctb_warrior]

The thing is though, what if we fail. If I add 8 to 13 kgs I will be sluggish and more depressed to work on another attempt or variation. If I blow all my money, I will have none for further supplies etc. I guess we can loosen up a bit however.

Yeah, that's the idea. Based on the situation and available resources, one can turn their life into a big party if it works for them or they can just do a small thing that brings joy amidst the pain. I don't intend to stop anyone from their path of CTB, I just want everyone to enjoy their life in their best capacity while they are here on planet earth.

I understand there are people with extreme disability, there are people who are facing domestic abuse or sexual abuse, for some of them, this suggestion will not work at all, because of their condition and hostile environment.

So, this suggestion, is just to live life as much as possible in one's particular situation before they go, ctb or not.

 

[Pluto]

 

[ctb_warrior]

You are right about the SN. There are no absolute 100 percent guarantees. But we must have back ups and an ability to vary things and try again.

And as you alluded to, loosen up a bit in the meantime. Otherwise we risk doing something stupid or nothing at all by being perfectionists.

That's a really great idea to be prepared with a backup. I'll keep an extra glass of SN drink, in case I throw up. I'll take anti emetics to ensure I don't throw up. But anything can go wrong in the process, so I'll be mentally prepared.

Exactly, the idea is to loosen up a bit in the meantime. I too was a perfectionist, but i felt, it doesn't works.

Haha this resembles Garfield so much.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

Honestly, I realized this recently too. After deciding I wanted to die, I'd think to myself, "well, if I'm going to die soon, I need to live my best life while I can." Then, I started actually pursuing some of my goals and it made me feel better. Not no longer suicidal, but it makes it easier.

 

[hihi2027]

This is nice advice in theory but hard to execute in practice. I mean, all I used to like doing was sitting around all day and playing video games. Unproductive for sure, though it did make my suicide ideation go down or even become nonexistent. This effect only lasted for 18 years however... As the years have gone by, not even video games help. I just get thoughts of how much useless piece of shit I am. But sometimes it shifts and I can play for a period with the thoughts torturing me - it's a weird shifting feeling

Right now, there are only 2 things that help me get relief from suicidal thoughts - music and sleep. It works best if I combine the two, it is sooo blissful! But reality calls eventually, and, poof, I want to ctb again :(

As for hobbies, all of them went to hell. The only things that I'm interested in are music and drawing. Well, no talent in the former and the same in the later. If I do either, more thoughts of ctb and self harm...

This is a difficult practice to execute

 

[ctb_warrior]

Honestly, I realized this recently too. After deciding I wanted to die, I'd think to myself, "well, if I'm going to die soon, I need to live my best life while I can." Then, I started actually pursuing some of my goals and it made me feel better. Not no longer suicidal, but it makes it easier.

Yesssss that's the whole idea behind it. It's not about not CTBing but while you are here, making your life comfortable and effortless. I'm so happy that you are already implementing it. Proud of you

This is nice advice in theory but hard to execute in practice. I mean, all I used to like doing was sitting around all day and playing video games. Unproductive for sure, though it did make my suicide ideation go down or even become nonexistent. This effect only lasted for 18 years however... As the years have gone by, not even video games help. I just get thoughts of how much useless piece of shit I am. But sometimes it shifts and I can play for a period with the thoughts torturing me - it's a weird shifting feeling

Right now, there are only 2 things that help me get relief from suicidal thoughts - music and sleep. It works best if I combine the two, it is sooo blissful! But reality calls eventually, and, poof, I want to ctb again :(

As for hobbies, all of them went to hell. The only things that I'm interested in are music and drawing. Well, no talent in the former and the same in the later. If I do either, more thoughts of ctb and self harm...

This is a difficult practice to execute

Yes, it's not easier for everyone to implement based on what they are going through. The mental configuration can prevent you from feeling the joy.
I have also had different difficult phases in my life. When I took life seriously, I was affected by the external factors and it stopped me from enjoying life. In fact, in those days, eating would also be difficult due to lack of appetite.
There were phases when I turned myself into a happy go lucky persona, that's little thick skinned, that no matter what is happening around me, I'll ignore it and focus on what I like.
As a kid, I too found my solace in computer games and TV (cartoons, funny shows, suspense thriller).
In my most recent bad phase, i used to watch Chinese drama on dramabox to prevent myself from feeling and thinking about the pain. It didn't help me a lot, but yeah it was fair enough in distracting me.
So, i totally understand that there's going to be some folks, who will not be able to implement this idea as their emotional or physical pain is beyond their threshold or the mental configuration is such that their condition disallows them to feel happy.
I'll still suggest, if it's possible to become happy go lucky and stop taking life seriously and become child like in terms of chilling, then definitely push through the mental barriers if you can.
If it still doesn't help, a good psychiatrist may help to administer some chemical drug like a good effective mood lifter that can help.
My female friend reported of having sadness and phases of crying, then she met a good psychiatrist, he gave her some mood lifter that i don't know, it changed her mood and she started feeling extremely better.. so based on this observation, i can say that in some cases, good psychiatrist may help to feel happier. After all it's all about neurochemistry that really controls how we feel.

 

[Somewhat Suicidal]

The positive energy of this thread is quite lovely overall I have to say

Whenever I was in a relationship, I used to feel fulfilled and I never even thought once about CTB.
Though it has a neurochemical reason. Love helps you get proper dose of oxytocin and other feel good hormones, and that makes you outgoing and makes you feel invincible that you can fight the world and still win.

So freaking true. I could fight the fucking world whenever I had that...

I'm scared to b a greaseball in my hometown I rlly want candy but don't wanna shower before going to the grocery store, so no candy for me lol.

so relatable lmao. sorry im tired, didn't sleep last night everything is starting to get funny...

 

[ctb_warrior]

The positive energy of this thread is quite lovely overall I have to say

Yeah and I loved how everyone have shared their opinion and concern over the idea.

So freaking true. I could fight the fucking world whenever I had that...

Isn't that feeling amazing I never felt like CTBing even once whenever I was in love. When my little world used to be in trouble, that's when that invincibility used to get weak