Literally catching a bus tonight.

[shelterwhereisleep]

I'm going to take a bus to the store today. I've never ridden a bus by myself. I can't drive so ever since things fell apart I've been stuck within walking distance.
Which is pathetic, because I'm 27.
I'm afraid of doing new things on my own. Especially when I feel like there is a little real risk involved. I live in a safe area but still.
I'm audhd and I'm terrified of change. This isn't in my routine. But neither was the loss I've been dealt.
And ever since things happened, I don't care about what happens to me. I'm willing to do more risky things.
Do I have to pull on a string or something for the bus to stop at where I want to get off?

 

[AmericanMary]

I live in the suburbs so I have also never ridden a bus, so cannot offer you advice there-

But I wish you the best of luck with your journey!! You've got this!! I know change can be super hard and uncomfortable. The way you have described your feels is very valid. I believe a lot of people in this situation would have similar feelings.

You're so strong for even attempting something that makes you uncomfortable.. you've got this!!

 

[Suicidebydeath]

Modern buses likely have buttons you can press on the poles you can hold on to rather than a string, which would probably be reserved for emergency stops. It might depend where you are. There should be a "ding!" that lets you know you've pressed the button.

Don't worry, it'll become apparent either way when you've boarded the bus. Just press the button a little before the bus arrives at your stop and follow what everybody else is doing regarding bus routine in your area, likely someone will get off before your stop so you'll see. The bus might stop at your stop regardless of button pressing anyway. I would press the button anyway to be sure.

Try not to worry about it, people won't pay any attention.

I know how you feel about little changes, I feel the same way. It's difficult! You can do it though!!

Just make sure you have the correct change, and get the change out of your pocket and in your hand before boarding the bus so nobody is kept waiting, and wait for people to unboard the bus before boarding. Say thank you to the bus driver when leaving, assuming everybody else is doing that where you are. Try not to take one of the front seats of the bus unless you're disabled or have a pet/baby or something. I think that covers all of the bus etiquette that I know of, it's not like I take the bus often myself!

Lastly, again, don't worry!! Taking the bus isn't going to be as bad as it seems, it's only because it's new to you! Just research the fare and route in advance so you can feel more confident and then just go. Everything will be fine!! Bus stops where I live have seating and timetables, and that's probably the case in most places now, so there won't ever be a point where you'll be uncomfortable either. Just have a nice relaxing sit down and enjoy it!!

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I don't think I can help you, because European busses are probably different then the ones in the US.

I just want to say I'm so proud of you for trying!!

( And...I'm 48 can't drive either)

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I'm not from US either. Quick google, doesn't answer your question but seems like all common sense stuff and hasn't contradicted anything I said. I'm just going to assume US buses are similar to ones here!

 

[k75]

It's been a while since I've been on a bus, but I'm going to assume things have not changed a whole lot. Usually there is a cord that kind of runs along the windows. That is what you pull to signal that you need the next stop. You should hear it ding and you'll know it worked.

Sometimes you get lucky and don't even have to signal because someone else is also getting off at your stop. There might be a screen near the front of the bus that tells the next planned stop. So you don't even have to worry about it if the bus is already going to stop there.

I really understand getting nervous about new situations like that, but it's honestly a lot scarier to think about than actually doing. It might help to sit further back so you can watch other passengers and see what they do. Or even sit close to the driver so you can either ask them or tell them that you need the next stop if you can't see an obvious way to signal. But I'm guessing it will probably be a cord or maybe a button depending on where you are.

Good luck!

 

[theboy]

I feel almost the same as you

 

[BooGirl]

I feel exactly the same way haha. The last time I took the bus was 7 years ago, but that was with a friend so I didn't have to hit any buttons. I've been walking like 40 minutes over a 20 minute bus ride these past few months because I'm too scared about the process of hitting the button or not hitting the button or annoying the bus driver and embarrassing myself. The walks are nice, at least.

 

[trappedinthislife]

I dont live in the EU or the US, but dont worry, its normal to feel intimidated by riding a bus the first time. My uni is 30 mins by car away from my house and gas fee is horrendous so i decided to take the bus. First time i was confused, kept looking around to see what the other passengers do.

There are typically 2 ways to signal you wish to get off the bus.

1. Pull a string, or press a button. If youre confused, ask other passengers or the driver/assistant.
2. Signal by words to the driver. Something like "Im going off next stop!"

And like others said, sit at the back and you can look at what the others do. You got this! And one more tip, try to signal when you are about a distance away from your desired stop, dont just wait until you are like, at the stop before you hit the button. The driver wont stop in time. If you have mobile data, look into bus apps on your phone - they help alot.

 

[shelterwhereisleep]

Modern buses likely have buttons you can press on the poles you can hold on to rather than a string, which would probably be reserved for emergency stops. It might depend where you are. There should be a "ding!" that lets you know you've pressed the button.

Don't worry, it'll become apparent either way when you've boarded the bus. Just press the button a little before the bus arrives at your stop and follow what everybody else is doing regarding bus routine in your area, likely someone will get off before your stop so you'll see. The bus might stop at your stop regardless of button pressing anyway. I would press the button anyway to be sure.

Try not to worry about it, people won't pay any attention.

I know how you feel about little changes, I feel the same way. It's difficult! You can do it though!!

Just make sure you have the correct change, and get the change out of your pocket and in your hand before boarding the bus so nobody is kept waiting, and wait for people to unboard the bus before boarding. Say thank you to the bus driver when leaving, assuming everybody else is doing that where you are. Try not to take one of the front seats of the bus unless you're disabled or have a pet/baby or something. I think that covers all of the bus etiquette that I know of, it's not like I take the bus often myself!

Lastly, again, don't worry!! Taking the bus isn't going to be as bad as it seems, it's only because it's new to you! Just research the fare and route in advance so you can feel more confident and then just go. Everything will be fine!! Bus stops where I live have seating and timetables, and that's probably the case in most places now, so there won't ever be a point where you'll be uncomfortable either. Just have a nice relaxing sit down and enjoy it!!

Thank you SO much! I did it!! And it was okay. And I think I can do it again maybe.
I took a screenshot of your post and read it multiple times before I went, and on the walk to the bus stop.

Thank you so much for your kindness. For taking the time to explain it to me. I didn't think anyone would respond let alone be so nice. I literally cried reading your response because I don't even know the last time someone has taken the time to talk that much to me. And in a way my brain can actually understand. Just thank you so much, as you can assume I'm in a terrible place and this made me feel less alone and a little less small.

 

[Hvergelmir]

This thread somehow gave me a burst of faith in humanity.

 

[Forveleth]

Yay! Welcome to the world of public transit! I'm 40 and have never driven because I have vision problems. I grew up in suburbs and could never get anywhere. At 28 I moved to a big city and my first weekend here I went to see a movie all by myself for the first time! It was so exciting! Buses can be intimidating at times but the more you use them, the more familiar and comfortable you will get with them.

Fun fact: I recently traveled to another state and had to show my friend how to use public transit in their own city because they had never used it before. Keep it up and you will be a pro in no time!