chaewon
Member
- Jan 8, 2026
- 19
Some can be grouped into one this is just a gettng shit off my chest thread since I feel shitty and impuslively suicidal right now
Beaten by parents
Burnt by parents
Raped and drugged as a child by a old man
Blamed for it by parents
Getting grounded by parents and head shaven because of it
Getting called gay by parents because of it
Getting sent into shitty unofficial conversion therapy as a child where I was electrocuted even though I am 100% sure and was sure that I am straight
Was smart academically and started failing miserably since high school till now in uni
Getting used by some friends for money and still allowing it just to keep them around
Always feeling different and having to mask my real persona to deal with everyone including my family
Guilt tripped by my family into believing they loved me even after everything they have done (still ongoing)
Getting treated like a worthless piece of shit by the woman I love
Getting cheated on by the woman I love
Getting beat by the woman I love
Getting told to cut by the woman I love
Not having my suicide attempts or thoughts taken serious by the woman I love
The woman I love informing my parents that I am suicidal
Ruining my hormones via anabolic steroids just to appeal The woman i love due to my retarded deeply rooted insecurity
Ruining my posture and having chronic neck pain due to sitting on my computer all day for years
Getting embarrassed infront of my friends when they found out I got cheated on and continued in the relationship
Getting called gay by the woman I love as an insult after entrusting her with the rape story
Being cursed with probably genetic mental illnesses 100% from my evil horrible mother which I am starting to act similar to
Fucking up my memory with ecstasy and party drugs
Fucking up my nose because of past cocaine usage
Childhood stolen by parents
Life dominated by parents
Having to constantly do stuff (trips, hangouts, spoiling) for the woman I love to love me back and I sometimes feel like its fake to start with
The woman i love having better looking exs than me
The woman I love wishing me death and encouraging my suicide in a so called bipolar episode
Not being able to let go of the woman I love
Having a big ugly scar in the middle of my thigh from cutting so now I can never wear shorts or swim in public again
Constant mind fog and never being able to be consistent or dedicated to anything
Not being able to hold friends naturally because they eventually realise I am a neurodivergent weirdo
Parents interfering in my dating life
Parents shit talking me in the form of "venting about me" to my own friends which I struggled to make to start with
Probably several times more the stuff mentioned above this is just the biggest mixed with most recent.
Now the only things that I think I will regret leaving behind if I CTB (not by order):
- My brother who is half my age but is most likely the only person who genuinely cares for me on this planet and has cried over me
- My two adorable cats who I love very much and have with the woman I love
- The woman I love who might come off as a terrible person but she is the sweetest soul ever when she is nice and she is so fucking pretty, but I just wish she didnt have the mental illnesses that make her temper shitty and make her explode on me and hurt me to this level
Beaten by parents
Burnt by parents
Raped and drugged as a child by a old man
Blamed for it by parents
Getting grounded by parents and head shaven because of it
Getting called gay by parents because of it
Getting sent into shitty unofficial conversion therapy as a child where I was electrocuted even though I am 100% sure and was sure that I am straight
Was smart academically and started failing miserably since high school till now in uni
Getting used by some friends for money and still allowing it just to keep them around
Always feeling different and having to mask my real persona to deal with everyone including my family
Guilt tripped by my family into believing they loved me even after everything they have done (still ongoing)
Getting treated like a worthless piece of shit by the woman I love
Getting cheated on by the woman I love
Getting beat by the woman I love
Getting told to cut by the woman I love
Not having my suicide attempts or thoughts taken serious by the woman I love
The woman I love informing my parents that I am suicidal
Ruining my hormones via anabolic steroids just to appeal The woman i love due to my retarded deeply rooted insecurity
Ruining my posture and having chronic neck pain due to sitting on my computer all day for years
Getting embarrassed infront of my friends when they found out I got cheated on and continued in the relationship
Getting called gay by the woman I love as an insult after entrusting her with the rape story
Being cursed with probably genetic mental illnesses 100% from my evil horrible mother which I am starting to act similar to
Fucking up my memory with ecstasy and party drugs
Fucking up my nose because of past cocaine usage
Childhood stolen by parents
Life dominated by parents
Having to constantly do stuff (trips, hangouts, spoiling) for the woman I love to love me back and I sometimes feel like its fake to start with
The woman i love having better looking exs than me
The woman I love wishing me death and encouraging my suicide in a so called bipolar episode
Not being able to let go of the woman I love
Having a big ugly scar in the middle of my thigh from cutting so now I can never wear shorts or swim in public again
Constant mind fog and never being able to be consistent or dedicated to anything
Not being able to hold friends naturally because they eventually realise I am a neurodivergent weirdo
Parents interfering in my dating life
Parents shit talking me in the form of "venting about me" to my own friends which I struggled to make to start with
Probably several times more the stuff mentioned above this is just the biggest mixed with most recent.
Now the only things that I think I will regret leaving behind if I CTB (not by order):
- My brother who is half my age but is most likely the only person who genuinely cares for me on this planet and has cried over me
- My two adorable cats who I love very much and have with the woman I love
- The woman I love who might come off as a terrible person but she is the sweetest soul ever when she is nice and she is so fucking pretty, but I just wish she didnt have the mental illnesses that make her temper shitty and make her explode on me and hurt me to this level
