light psychosis

[58Alice85]

The first thing i hear in the morning after i open my eyes, before i can even form a thought of my own, are these wretched voices.
They do nothing but insult, mock and torment me the entire day. They comment on every single little thing i do.
I also get these mild hallucinations of bugs crawling on my skin, suddenly being touched, and sensations inside of my skull, like little worms are present behind my eyes.
Everything gets this bizarre shade of irreality, like i am living inside of a comic book or movie.
Everything takes tremendous mental strain, i can barely concentrate on anything before the voices interrupt my thoughts.
At night i get nightmares of being raped and murdered and wake up several times.
I do not trust psychiatrists and will never visit them.
This has been going on for a few months now. On another forum i lurk there were people who claimed to have been living with voices for more than 6 years, they say it never ever goes away.
Looks like this is the end for me, plan to ctb before the end of the year

 

[whybother2002]

I do not trust psychiatrists and will never visit them.

May I ask why?

 

[AltF4Mylife]

I'm also plan to ctb coz of psychosis.I had 4 psychosis episodes so far and it's horrible.

 

[bitterToad]

The first thing i hear in the morning after i open my eyes, before i can even form a thought of my own, are these wretched voices.
They do nothing but insult, mock and torment me the entire day. They comment on every single little thing i do.
I also get these mild hallucinations of bugs crawling on my skin, suddenly being touched, and sensations inside of my skull, like little worms are present behind my eyes.
Everything gets this bizarre shade of irreality, like i am living inside of a comic book or movie.
Everything takes tremendous mental strain, i can barely concentrate on anything before the voices interrupt my thoughts.
At night i get nightmares of being raped and murdered and wake up several times.
I do not trust psychiatrists and will never visit them.
This has been going on for a few months now. On another forum i lurk there were people who claimed to have been living with voices for more than 6 years, they say it never ever goes away.
Looks like this is the end for me, plan to ctb before the end of the year

I don't have Schizophrenia, that I know of, but I've had mild psychosis since I was small (4yo).

Same as you, the touching and the bugs, voices but not mean like yours, nightmares too, also cats for some reason. And scary things sometimes.

I found a safe family and home for a while, a genuinely safe space, after 2-3ish years almost all of the psychosis went away.

Now I only get voices or vision-blobs when I'm exhausted, but that dread-feeling related to these things went away completely.

I still have dread related to other things but not for these things. They are gone.

 

[58Alice85]

May I ask why?

I have heard too many horror stories of people's lives being ruined by psychiatric medication

 

[copioushopelessness]

I have heard too many horror stories of people's lives being ruined by psychiatric medication

I'm sorry and I know what you mean. Don't go on the meds. They are poison and make you feel worse.
I've heard of people trying to train the voices to be nice. There's only so much one can do but their meds make people unable to take care of themselves.
I hope you find peace. I hope we all do.

 

[AkaRed]

Honestly, while my experiences are nothing like yours- I can have basic empathy for your reasoning. Dealing with something like that every day must be truly exhausting and frustrating, and I do truly wish that you either find the peace you're looking for- or are able to find something that allows you to cope and live a normal life.
Sending much love <3

 

[58Alice85]

I'm also plan to ctb coz of psychosis.I had 4 psychosis episodes so far and it's horrible.

yeah i've been there into full-blown psychosis
spent a couple of days completely disoriented convinced i had already died and was living in hell
i think it is interesting how some people are able to somehow snap out of it while others end up getting committed in a mental institution for life

 

[58Alice85]

Honestly, while my experiences are nothing like yours- I can have basic empathy for your reasoning. Dealing with something like that every day must be truly exhausting and frustrating, and I do truly wish that you either find the peace you're looking for- or are able to find something that allows you to cope and live a normal life.
Sending much love <3

thank you