nowizard
sleepy
- Oct 9, 2025
- 12
im writing this here because honestly i just need a space to complain hah… it's not even that serious? but basically i didn't restock on my antidepressants in time because my social phobia made me horribly scared of calling my psychiatrist. i had the courage to finally call and get a new prescription but i can only pick them up by tomorrow morning. i'm on my third day without taking them and it's physically agonising. i feel nauseous and lightheaded, too much movement makes my eyes feel like they'll pop out of my skull and my head has these little pulse sensations that make me lose my mind. it doesn't help that i'm dealing with a lot of stress outside of my depression right now, my mother put a lot of tasks onto me that are mentally overwhelming me. too much thinking makes my head hurt and with that i've been just crying for the past two days because of that pressure my mother put on me which doesn't help with the headaches. i don't feel different mentally, i would be crashing out about these tasks and problems as much even if i took my meds, just not all the while my body feels like there's something rotting inside. and the realisation that my physical condition really does depend on taking these meds makes me feel even more alienated and pushes me further and further to ctb. it all comes full circle in the end lol. this isn't normal. i don't feel normal. i cant wait to be able to take my meds tomorrow and make this stop so i can be depressed and overwhelmed without having the urge to vomit.
