Story Life’s never been easy

[floaxed]

I was born a mistake to a 17 year old mother and a 19 year old father. Mother and father were never together. My dad didn't even want me, he was pushing my mom to get an abortion and he tried leaving but his family didn't let him. I don't know why i've been put on this earth. I don't want to be on this earth.

I grew up all alone, family of 5 boys and I was the only one who got hit. Been severely abused all my life causing me to be antisocial leading up to very bad depression and the whole reason I came to this forum. My mom died in my 8th year of school, she was the only parent who made me feel loved.

I could never make a single friend throughout all of high school until I met my ex of 4 years. She cheated on me the moment she got to college. I feel so alone. I have never felt more alone in my life. I just broke up with another girlfriend who I was with for 8 months. She cheated as well. I tried filling the void she left by hooking up with another girl, It hasn't even been a month since we broke up, that shit only made me feel worse and even more empty than before.

I don't know why i'm so unlovable :( I am a pretty funny person, I'm fairly good looking, and I have such a good heart man, I'm really not a bad person at all, just so sad and lonely. Sad my whole life. I've wanted to CTB since I was 11 years old, 10 years later i'm still like this.

I've decided it's finally time to CTB, I don't want to suffer any longer. 21 years here and I've hated every single one of them. I tried going on top of a parking complex 2 days ago to jump but I got too scared. Seeing how easy it is to get SN and how readily available it is and relatively painless and easy I can go using that method. I've decided my time has finally come. I'm going to order the SN very soon, if anyone has a reliable source or can verify the source i've found, pls pm me. I'm not scared of death anymore, im scared of what's going to happen if i keep living wanting to die.

 

[leavingsoon99]

I was born a mistake to a 17 year old mother and a 19 year old father. Mother and father were never together. My dad didn't even want me, he was pushing my mom to get an abortion and he tried leaving but his family didn't let him. I don't know why i've been put on this earth. I don't want to be on this earth.

I grew up all alone, family of 5 boys and I was the only one who got hit. Been severely abused all my life causing me to be antisocial leading up to very bad depression and the whole reason I came to this forum. My mom died in my 8th year of school, she was the only parent who made me feel loved.

I could never make a single friend throughout all of high school until I met my ex of 4 years. She cheated on me the moment she got to college. I feel so alone. I have never felt more alone in my life. I just broke up with another girlfriend who I was with for 8 months. She cheated as well. I tried filling the void she left by hooking up with another girl, It hasn't even been a month since we broke up, that shit only made me feel worse and even more empty than before.

I don't know why i'm so unlovable :( I am a pretty funny person, I'm fairly good looking, and I have such a good heart man, I'm really not a bad person at all, just so sad and lonely. Sad my whole life. I've wanted to CTB since I was 11 years old, 10 years later i'm still like this.

I've decided it's finally time to CTB, I don't want to suffer any longer. 21 years here and I've hated every single one of them. I tried going on top of a parking complex 2 days ago to jump but I got too scared. Seeing how easy it is to get SN and how readily available it is and relatively painless and easy I can go using that method. I've decided my time has finally come. I'm going to order the SN very soon, if anyone has a reliable source or can verify the source i've found, pls pm me. I'm not scared of death anymore, im scared of what's going to happen if i keep living wanting to die.

We have much in common. I was an unwanted pregnancy as well. My father has been out of the picture ever since I was 2. My mother showed here contempt for me over and over by physically/emotionally abusing me, or allowing her lovers to do so. One of her boyfriends sexually molested me. I got beaten by her for telling her. I am the youngest of 3 boys. My brothers are from another man whom her family liked and wanted her to marry. My father was, pretty much, a one-night stand. My high school years were filled with bullying and torment. I never had a girlfriend in high school. It wasn't until I as an adult that I had my first girlfriend. Like yours, she cheated on me. All of the women in my life cheated on me sooner or later. I've come to realize that there's no such thing as romantic love. That's one of the many lies that our societies programming induces us with.

I'm so sorry you've been pushed to the point where you are. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Life is so cruel. It's why I'm self-terminating as well. I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and know that you're not alone.

 

[floaxed]

We have much in common. I was an unwanted pregnancy as well. My father has been out of the picture ever since I was 2. My mother showed here contempt for me over and over by physically/emotionally abusing me, or allowing her lovers to do so. One of her boyfriends sexually molested me. I got beaten by her for telling her. I am the youngest of 3 boys. My brothers are from another man whom her family liked and wanted her to marry. My father was, pretty much, a one-night stand. My high school years were filled with bullying and torment. I never had a girlfriend in high school. It wasn't until I as an adult that I had my first girlfriend. Like yours, she cheated on me. All of the women in my life cheated on me sooner or later. I've come to realize that there's no such thing as romantic love. That's one of the many lies that our societies programming induces us with.

I'm so sorry you've been pushed to the point where you are. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone. Life is so cruel. It's why I'm self-terminating as well. I wish you luck in whatever you decide, and know that you're not alone.

You're not alone either friend, even though i'm just a random internet stranger to you, you're loved by me. I love you and I hope everything works out in the end for you, whatever you decide to do. PM me if you need a friend, im always here.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really awful what you've been through and it's very much understandable just wishing to be free from all the suffering that existing brings, life really is just so unnecessarily cruel. But anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you are searching for.