Venting Life on this earth is not worth it

[dollofyarn]

Hello people.
I W want to break up with my boyfriend and I never want to try to get better anymore. I'm sick of this earth. Everyone is so mean towards one another and it is so draining. Everyday I feel scared when I am going outside. It's like everyone is looking at me and judging me. My boyfriend is cool sometimes but he wants a normal life with a wife and kids and I don't ever want that because it was never meant for me. I hope I get the strength to die soon

 

[Arrow]

i think the part that hardest to accept is that life is actually completely worth living, but only if random chance allows for such circumstances. if you're unlucky then your shit can be all fucked up for no rhyme or reason and trying to fix it is where all the pain and humiliation starts because the randomness will work against you for however long it wants to, which doesn't motivate you to make ideal decisions, which leads to downward spiral. i don't know what the solution to this is, now i think even leaving the world behind doesn't fix anything.

is it possible to just embrace and enjoy the absurdity and pain of existence, no matter how extreme? i'll have to look into this.

 

[dollofyarn]

i think the part that hardest to accept is that life is actually completely worth living, but only if random chance allows for such circumstances. if you're unlucky then your shit can be all fucked up for no rhyme or reason and trying to fix it is where all the pain and humiliation starts because the randomness will work against you for however long it wants to, which doesn't motivate you to make ideal decisions, which leads to downward spiral. i don't know what the solution to this is, now i think even leaving the world behind doesn't fix anything.

is it possible to just embrace and enjoy the absurdity and pain of existence, no matter how extreme? i'll have to look into this.

Yeah I feel you on that. I hate how unpredictable life is. Sometimes I feel like things are a bit better and then I feel worse after one small negative thing that happens sucks to be a very sensitive and anxiety ridden person as well I guess