Venting Life isn't worth it for me

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

Life is just an endless series of problems. By solving the previous ones you are just maliciously rewarded with new ones.

In my own stupidity I thought that I, someone who yearns for non-existence, would somehow fix myself by means of obtaining employment.

Now I just have another reason to kill myself. I am incompetent and unskilled and not a good fit for this position.

I gave in to Pro Life propaganda. I believed in it, yet it seems to me that any progress I made just caused me more pain and suffering. I tried. Life isn't for me. I failed in many spheres of endeavors, despite my best efforts. I am just not enough. I honestly feel that I am commiting a crime against myself by allowing this torture to continue. I don't know.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I went through something very similar. I was raised with a very strong work ethic. I've always thought/hoped that getting jobs and then a proper 'career' with a fancy Head of Department title would make me feel better. Finally- a responsible adult... But no- all you get is stress, exploitation and a growing cynicism that there's very little that will actually make you feel happy.

I actually was reasonably content being a creative freelancer. The good at least outweighed the bad. Still- it's SO difficult to sustain financially- so, you just find yourself back at square one looking for a shit, dead end job again.

Honestly- I feel you. I just wish I knew what the answer was.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I went through something very similar. I was raised with a very strong work ethic. I've always thought/hoped that getting jobs and then a proper 'career' with a fancy Head of Department title would make me feel better. Finally- a responsible adult... But no- all you get is stress, exploitation and a growing cynicism that there's very little that will actually make you feel happy.

I actually was reasonably content being a creative freelancer. The good at least outweighed the bad. Still- it's SO difficult to sustain financially- so, you just find yourself back at square one looking for a shit, dead end job again.

Honestly- I feel you. I just wish I knew what the answer was.

Agreed. Even the best case scenario is me constantly selling myself to employers for the curse, not even privilege, of being alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life could never be worth anything, I see no value to enduring endless problems and suffering so unnecessarily just to inevitably deteriorate and die anyway. I've always seen non existence as being preferable as prolonging this torment holds no benefits and just causes us to suffer more. But I think that it's true that life isn't for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. I see existing as just being an undesirable burden that would had been better off never being a thing at all. Your feelings and wish to leave this world is completely understandable, as I do understand that it can be both dreadful and tiring when what we go through just continues to get worse.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

Life could never be worth anything, I see no value to enduring endless problems and suffering so unnecessarily just to inevitably deteriorate and die anyway. I've always seen non existence as being preferable as prolonging this torment holds no benefits and just causes us to suffer more. But I think that it's true that life isn't for everyone and there is nothing wrong with that. I see existing as just being an undesirable burden that would had been better off never being a thing at all. Your feelings and wish to leave this world is completely understandable, as I do understand that it can be both dreadful and tiring when what we go through just continues to get worse.

Every time I have even a minuscule hope of betterment, it knocks me back down again. I just wish I never existed.

 

[theboy]

I wonder since when society started to be "pro-life"

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wonder since when society started to be "pro-life"

I sort of wonder whether the majority of the wealthy ruling classes always have been pro-life. Maybe they have enough money to enjoy life but need the labour of the working populace- so- just force pro-life sentiments on them via religion and even law. (Until quite recently- 1961, it was illegal to attempt suicide in the UK. In some countries- it is still illegal.) I suspect- when laws weren't enough (dead people don't go to jail), they came up with hell as a deterant.

 

[Raskolnikov's Axe]

I wonder since when society started to be "pro-life"

As another poster mentioned, both dogmas enforced by Abrahamic religions and a bourgeoisie that is constantly in need of workforce do wonders in spreading pro life propaganda like a disease.

 

[theboy]

As another poster mentioned, both dogmas enforced by Abrahamic religions and a bourgeoisie that is constantly in need of workforce do wonders in spreading pro life propaganda like a disease.

omg