Life Is Unfair, I Am Ready To Leave

[Sam772]

My Life Has Been Very Very Painful.. I will just give some background of what i went through 2022.

1. I Was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. spent 2weeks in ICU and 1month in hospital, almost died
2. Shortly after being out of hospital i was homeless, lost everything and slept in my car for 2weeks.
3. a stranger helped me out, took me in, sold my car, got a place and got very depressed, started drinking alot of alchahol.
4. my mom is a lawyer and abandoned me at 3months, i managed to get her number and text her when i was homeless and she read my message on whatsapp and didnt respons.

I have nobody, no family, no support no nothing, right now i just literally lost everything again, dont even have money for grocery, cant even afford to buy something as basic as food, had my last meal last night no more grocery, fridge is empty, atleast i have shelter to hide my pain and have unlimited internet access.. monday i plan to list my mobile fone for sale, for cheap, then i wana sell my fridge and then sell my laptop, hopefully all these items sell and i have enough money to buy food, alchahol, sex and SN, well i live in a 3rd world country and looked online where i can buy SN but didnt find a place locally, i will keep looking today all day.. i plan to eat good foor, drink, have sex and be happy and then 3days after i plan to leave earth and be united with my ancestors. im tired of fighting, i have nobody, i feel lonely. If i leave today nobody would know and nobody would be hurt and nobody would really care, this pain must go away, the only way to defeat it is to depart. I DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE HERE ON EARTH, I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS LIFE, I DIDNT CHOOSE THE CARDS THAT I WAS DEALT, I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS NOR DO I WANT IT NOW, MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO BE LIVING HAPPY LIFES, MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A FIGHT AND A STRUGGLE TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS THAT I NEVER CHOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN NORMAL, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CHALLENGE, EVERYTHING THAT COMES NATURALLY TO MOST HUMANS IVE ALWAYS HAD TO FIGHT FOR, SINCE A YOUNG MAN IVE ALWAYS DESIRED THE NORMAL LIFE.. IM TIRED, I MUST LEAVE

If someone can help me by telling me where to get the SN id apreciate it, also i would like to get it before end of the year this year, i have no desire to live through to 2023, i just miss my dad and granny and would like to be united with them, i just shared my 2022 story, my life story is 100X sadder.

 

[DeadButDreaming]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. SN isn't my method, so I can't help you there, unfortunately.

 

[Sam772]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. SN isn't my method, so I can't help you there, unfortunately.

i just want to depart peacefully with no pain whatsoever, listening to good music and smilling.

 

[makethepainstop]

My Life Has Been Very Very Painful.. I will just give some background of what i went through 2022.

1. I Was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. spent 2weeks in ICU and 1month in hospital, almost died
2. Shortly after being out of hospital i was homeless, lost everything and slept in my car for 2weeks.
3. a stranger helped me out, took me in, sold my car, got a place and got very depressed, started drinking alot of alchahol.
4. my mom is a lawyer and abandoned me at 3months, i managed to get her number and text her when i was homeless and she read my message on whatsapp and didnt respons.

I have nobody, no family, no support no nothing, right now i just literally lost everything again, dont even have money for grocery, cant even afford to buy something as basic as food, had my last meal last night no more grocery, fridge is empty, atleast i have shelter to hide my pain and have unlimited internet access.. monday i plan to list my mobile fone for sale, for cheap, then i wana sell my fridge and then sell my laptop, hopefully all these items sell and i have enough money to buy food, alchahol, sex and SN, well i live in a 3rd world country and looked online where i can buy SN but didnt find a place locally, i will keep looking today all day.. i plan to eat good foor, drink, have sex and be happy and then 3days after i plan to leave earth and be united with my ancestors. im tired of fighting, i have nobody, i feel lonely. If i leave today nobody would know and nobody would be hurt and nobody would really care, this pain must go away, the only way to defeat it is to depart. I DIDNT CHOOSE TO BE HERE ON EARTH, I DIDNT CHOOSE THIS LIFE, I DIDNT CHOOSE THE CARDS THAT I WAS DEALT, I NEVER WANTED ANY OF THIS NOR DO I WANT IT NOW, MANY PEOPLE SEEM TO BE LIVING HAPPY LIFES, MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN A FIGHT AND A STRUGGLE TO GET OUT OF THIS MESS THAT I NEVER CHOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE, MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN NORMAL, IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CHALLENGE, EVERYTHING THAT COMES NATURALLY TO MOST HUMANS IVE ALWAYS HAD TO FIGHT FOR, SINCE A YOUNG MAN IVE ALWAYS DESIRED THE NORMAL LIFE.. IM TIRED, I MUST LEAVE

If someone can help me by telling me where to get the SN id apreciate it, also i would like to get it before end of the year this year, i have no desire to live through to 2023, i just miss my dad and granny and would like to be united with them, i just shared my 2022 story, my life story is 100X sadder.

Dear God why do people suffer so much in this wonderful hell hole known as life? I really am beginning to wonder if there is a God. God loves us,( the pious and holy types like to assure us), if so why are some many souls hurting?

 

[Sam772]

Dear God why do people suffer so much in this wonderful hell hole known as life? I really am beginning to wonder if there is a God. God loves us,( the pious and holy types like to assure us), if so why are some many souls hurting?

i stopped believing in god 2017, if there really was a god then that god would be a very sick motherfucker... many people going through 1000X worse pain, pain that they didnt choose but inherited, this thing of life is fuckdup, im tired of fighting, i really am. i dont want to participate anymore., im at peace with my descision, im at peace with this pain that im going through, im at peace with everything.

 

[makethepainstop]

i stopped believing in god 2017, if there really was a god then that god would be a very sick motherfucker... many people going through 1000X worse pain, pain that they didnt choose but inherited, this thing of life is fuckdup, im tired of fighting, i really am. i dont want to participate anymore., im at peace with my descision, im at peace with this pain that im going through, im at peace with everything.

Me too bro, I feel almost exactly the same thing. How long are we supposed to struggle, and pretend it will get better? Like damn, is life just an ongoing punishment of some type?
Whatever you decide I for one, do understand.

 

[Sam772]

Me too bro, I feel almost exactly the same thing. How long are we supposed to struggle, and pretend it will get better? Like damn, is life just an ongoing punishment of some type?
Whatever you decide I for one, do understand.

im exiting bro... before i exit i have some stuff id like to do, firstly eat a great meal, then drink alchahol, have sex, then i wana meet this shaman ive been talking to for months, theres this secret spiritual think i need to see, he wont know that im gona CTB, then i wana go to this waterfall i use to go to inorder to connect to ancestors... then i leave earth, i wana leave before the year end, ive started the mental proccess, my only challenge is to get SN, still searching where i can get it, and also to sell my stuff fast enough.......... I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT N FROM D, whats N and whose D, if its easier to get N from D, someone please plug me. Im Ready, ive never been 1 to be scared.

 

[makethepainstop]

im exiting bro... before i exit i have some stuff id like to do, firstly eat a great meal, then drink alchahol, have sex, then i wana meet this shaman ive been talking to for months, theres this secret spiritual think i need to see, he wont know that im gona CTB, then i wana go to this waterfall i use to go to inorder to connect to ancestors... then i leave earth, i wana leave before the year end, ive started the mental proccess, my only challenge is to get SN, still searching where i can get it, and also to sell my stuff fast enough.......... I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT N FROM D, whats N and whose D, if its easier to get N from D, someone please plug me. Im Ready, ive never been 1 to be scare

im exiting bro... before i exit i have some stuff id like to do, firstly eat a great meal, then drink alchahol, have sex, then i wana meet this shaman ive been talking to for months, theres this secret spiritual think i need to see, he wont know that im gona CTB, then i wana go to this waterfall i use to go to inorder to connect to ancestors... then i leave earth, i wana leave before the year end, ive started the mental proccess, my only challenge is to get SN, still searching where i can get it, and also to sell my stuff fast enough.......... I SEE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT N FROM D, whats N and whose D, if its easier to get N from D, someone please plug me. Im Ready, ive never been 1 to be scared.

Do go see the shaman, please. He may give you something that helps. I had a connection to the Cuban community that did santeria. Some of that stuff is very good for your spirit. trust me!

 

[Sam772]

Do go see the shaman, please. He may give you something that helps. I had a connection to the Cuban community that did santeria. Some of that stuff is very good for your spirit. trust me!

im not there to take from him, rather there to feed my curiosity, theres this deep secret thing of spirits speaking audibly, i know it sounds fake, scam and taboo, but this is deep stuff, anyway let that not take from the thread, im leaving and im doing so peacefully.

 

[Sam772]

someone please PM me the IC website link or lead me to the right direction please i beg of you.

Do go see the shaman, please. He may give you something that helps. I had a connection to the Cuban community that did santeria. Some of that stuff is very good for your spirit. trust me!

bro please may you PM me link to IC website please

 

[FuneralCry]

It's certainly true how there is nothing fair about this life in any way. Of course it's such a burden and a curse having to exist and it's tragic how all this endless suffering continues to exist in this world. Simply just existing and being aware of how living beings are tortured makes the thought of permanent non existence sound so incredibly appealing and it must be a relief to feel at peace with your decision. It sounds like you have suffered so much and your wish to leave is understandable, it's so tiring having to be trapped here day after day. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[Sam772]

It's certainly true how there is nothing fair about this life in any way. Of course it's such a burden and a curse having to exist and it's tragic how all this endless suffering continues to exist in this world. Simply just existing and being aware of how living beings are tortured makes the thought of permanent non existence sound so incredibly appealing and it must be a relief to feel at peace with your decision. It sounds like you have suffered so much and your wish to leave is understandable, it's so tiring having to be trapped here day after day. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

the thought of eternal sleep and rest sounds peaceful...fighting is honourable but its also honourable to decide that you will no longer be a chess piece in this game that you didnt decide to play in the first place, i no longer want to participate, i no longer want to fight, i no longer want to live, i want to rest.. if there is something on the otherside and that something is bullshit aswell and im given a choice to not participate i will choose not to participate.

 

[Blue_mist]

At least you have the option of having sex, some people including me can't even have sex due to ugliness

 

[Sam772]

At least you have the option of having sex, some people including me can't even have sex due to ugliness

sex isnt about ugliness but its about confidence.. are you male or female?

 

[Blue_mist]

sex isnt about ugliness but its about confidence.. are you male or female?

Gay male

 

[Sam772]

Gay male

just be confident and own your skin, walk and talk with confidence, believe in yourself and in your bullshit, visit gay bars, aproach men, learn how to hold a conversation.... practice with just going up to strangers and starting normal conversation with them in a not wierd way. also start taking care of yourself, get hair done often and also spend time picking out clothes to wear that will attract ur targeted mating person but clothes mustnt be skanky, just normal but nice.

 

[Resinn66]

I am truly sorry for your suffering and pain. Unfortunately we are here in this prison trying to find the final exit. I'm waiting for the right moment, the one when despair becomes unbearable. As far as SN is concern I don't think is painless

 

[locked*n*loaded]

someone please PM me the IC website link or lead me to the right direction please i beg of you.

I didn't see one other poster in this thread even mention IC. Where did your knowledge of IC come from?

 

[Sam772]

I am truly sorry for your suffering and pain. Unfortunately we are here in this prison trying to find the final exit. I'm waiting for the right moment, the one when despair becomes unbearable. As far as SN is concern I don't think is painless

yeah been reading alot on SN, its def not painless.. but hey, who cares.

I didn't see one other poster in this thread even mention IC. Where did your knowledge of IC come from?

reading almost all the threads on this forum

 

[WorthlessTrash]

just be confident and own your skin, walk and talk with confidence, believe in yourself and in your bullshit, visit gay bars, aproach men, learn how to hold a conversation.... practice with just going up to strangers and starting normal conversation with them in a not wierd way. also start taking care of yourself, get hair done often and also spend time picking out clothes to wear that will attract ur targeted mating person but clothes mustnt be skanky, just normal but nice.

I'm sorry, but this is extremely easy for someone who can get laid to say. Of course if you were in their position, you definitely would not feel this way. Physical attraction DOES play a factor, and confidence doesn't compensate for lack of attractiveness. In order to have sexual arousal, we have to see something we are physically and sexually attracted to, otherwise we can't get that sense of arousal and thus can't perform. If someone isn't attracted to you, they just are not interested. That's a cold hard fact of life.

 

[theboy]

Peace!

 

[Blue_mist]

I'm sorry, but this is extremely easy for someone who can get laid to say. Of course if you were in their position, you definitely would not feel this way. Physical attraction DOES play a factor, and confidence doesn't compensate for lack of attractiveness. In order to have sexual arousal, we have to see something we are physically and sexually attracted to, otherwise we can't get that sense of arousal and thus can't perform. If someone isn't attracted to you, they just are not interested. That's a cold hard fact of life.

Thanks! You couldn't have said it better.