Life is tiring is anybody really normal what's the point

[membo]

Some people had us over for dinner. It was ok. They were very nice. I acted interested and smiled and like a normal person.

But what's the point? I feel so much different than them. They seem like they have things in life they enjoy. They have interests. They have things they pursue. They have friends and know people.

Why do I feel so different. I just want to retreat into my room and run away. Yet I'm trapped here by my children and circumstance.

Why can't I enjoy being around people, and have something in life I enjoy.

 

[Someone123]

My guess is that there is loneliness as a key issue on some level. Do you have a partner you love, do you have a strong, loving connection with your children? Maybe there are ways you can feel more connected to you friends, with conversations that are meanigful to you, with hugs and real caring. Do you hug your children? Caring touch from other people is so important to connection with them. It sounds like loneliness on some level, or more likely in several; areas- just not feeling the love and connection that alleviates loneliness.

 

[membo]

I have a partner recovering from BPD who I have no positive feelings for, and a duty-oriented obligation towards my children. I have acquaintances but no friends. I had a couple before, but we moved, and even with them I would see them for an hour or two and walk away wound up and tense. Even though I enjoyed the hour. Sometimes I would still get tense around them. I think I was even masking around them.

Maybe. Maybe I am lonely. I hadn't really considered that since I'm an introvert and spend most of my time figuring out how I can get a few hours away from my family in quiet peace.

Thank you for your reply.

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Maybe I'll cut. But my favorite, least-damaging knife isn't here. I only have razors. And I don't much care for those. But. And it's probably going to be so unsatisfying. Lately it has been. I'm just rambling now because what else is there to do besides have a beer, cut yourself, and go to bed, right? What the fuck else do you do with this stupid fucking uncomfortable feeling?

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And wake up and do it all over again. Fuck. Life is tiring. One obligation after another. Then the ultimate obligation: life itself.

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Almost too lazy to cut. Because I have to clean it all up before the morning and before she gets home. I can't just cut and go to bed.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I tend to feel worse after having been around 'normal' people. That's partly why I tend to avoid them! Plus- I agree- it's just all that effort to try and come across as functional plus, mask all the REALLY negative stuff.

I once stayed with a lovely intelligent lady. We got into a conversation about sociable versus non sociable people. She defined it brilliantly like this: sociable people need others around them to recharge their batteries- which then deplete when they are alone. Non sociable people work in reverse. Maybe it's just that you're a more solitary person naturally? I know we're supposed to be social animals but I think our upbringings affect us a lot. Are you an only child? That's partly why I think I'm so comfortable on my own.

Plus, honestly- I think people can be full of bravado. It can often seem like a competition with people as to how great their lives are. Facebook and social media seems full of that. That can be pretty challenging when you're feeling a bit low.

I'm sorry you are feeling like this. It must be more difficult in a way being part of a family and having to keep up appearances. I'm alone- so I can hide most of the time!

 

[toomuchtimetodie]

Most people will always want to 'keep up with the Jones"
We need to confirm to survive... In a tribe. As we should live in groups of 50-200
Society is not designed to function and the only people who can be happy without massive effort and constant fighting are sociopaths. Evil scum and their trust fund offspring.