Life is so painful

[Yoonique]

The mental pain I feel everyday is unbearable. I would take any physical pain over this. I wish I could just end my life but can't because of how it would destroy my mother. I can't do that to her. I don't even know why I'm here, maybe reading about methods gives me some comfort or something, at the same time I feel awful for anyone else who's feeling like this

 

[Miss_Takes]

It doesnt matter why you came here as long as it gives you a space to feel and talk.

 

[LooksAtMoonDog]

It doesnt matter why you came here as long as it gives you a space to feel and talk.

100% this!

 

[justsad&done]

So sorry you are feeling this way. I too know all about being sad and depressed all the time. This is a great place to talk and be understood.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Sorry you're here for a while too. It's like being stuck against a brick wall, knowing you can't ctb but being unable to even think about anything else.

 

[muffin222]

I'm so sorry you're grappling with unbearable pain everyday. I 100% agree with you that life is extremely painful and agonizing much of the time.

It's okay to be here even if you don't intend to ctb- just having an online support system of people who understand your emotions can be very therapeutic. I hope your pain eases soon and things begin to brighten for you

 

[Donk]

It doesnt matter why you came here as long as it gives you a space to feel and talk.

Talking or expressing your feelings does help but there comes a point where you can only articulate your feelings in so many ways. At the end you are still left with emptiness and insufferable void. I'm speaking from my own experience only.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

Talking or expressing your feelings does help but there comes a point where you can only articulate your feelings in so many ways. At the end you are still left with emptiness and insufferable void. I'm speaking from my own experience only.

It does help you keep going though, maybe it's a cheap trick, but things do change over time, sometimes the brain does heal, or adapt, sometimes circumstances do change

 

[Inferdan]

It does help you keep going though, maybe it's a cheap trick, but things do change over time, sometimes the brain does heal, or adapt, sometimes circumstances do change

I came here on November 2019 while I was deteriorating. Sometime near the start of 2020, I decided to ctb. The night before my planned date, I was able to break the darkness and hold onto whatever little I had left. Must've been SI (survival instinct for those who don't know), but I had to will myself to keep going.
Took months and months...it was unbelievably difficult and I still don't know how I did it. But I'm better now. I really am. Have a girlfriend, working on myself and getting things rolling, doing my best to keep in touch with people...
Life doesn't get easier, but it definitely does get better. I'm essentially a 'normie' now but with the experience to be able to connect and relate to those who are still hurting.