Venting Life is not fair

[SmallRedHawk]

I'm tired of my "friends" around me going on about how I have to be grateful when they have no right to speak to me about gratitude because they have everything handed to them from their rich parents, go on multiple holidays overseas every year, and don't have to pay for anything with hard work. I work harder than them all but my family is poor so I have no hope compared to them.

They are all so normal and not ugly, can hold actual conversations, and attract people and can get into relationships. I'm just a weird autistic person who won't ever be loved or move anywhere in life because everything is so unfair.

I'm fucking tired guys, sometimes I think maybe I can turn my headspace around and feel happier but I realise the only reason I'm depressed and want to end my life is because of my life circumstances that I have to work my ass off to change. It's easier to just kill myself than give in to this shitty unfair bullshit. Life is not kind to me so why should I be kind to my life?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Totally relatable! Though our personal circumstances are so much different! I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[SilverTiger]

Hello Small Red Hawk.

Want to know something? You're right, you're not 'delusional' or 'mentally ill', both words used to discredit your observations. You are correct. I too, am autistic, and for the longest time I pretended I wasn't. Perhaps I deserved the ngligence from my mother? The assaults from my brother or the bulling, I faced as a child? Maybe Id eserved the poverty or bleeding wrists? Nope. It was my autisim, that made people hate me, and in turn I hate them back. I sufferede because my brain is wired differently. Anyway enough about me.

You are correct, the world is shit, and your friends won the great gamble at birth, you lost. Their pride won't let them admit their luck, no they "earned" it. Can I ask, why do you still talk to them about this? It's like talking to an olympic level sprinter about having your legs blown off by a landmine in Vietnam, what on Earth would he be able to bring to the conversation?

You should seek new friends that are more in tune with you, or at the least, decide if you want to truly get better? Myself? I have decided that my life for the whole 26 years I have been alive has been abuse, negligence, bullying, poverty, self hatred, what on Earth makes me think the next 26 years will be different?

Whatever you seek, best of luck!

 

[SmallRedHawk]

Hello Small Red Hawk.

Want to know something? You're right, you're not 'delusional' or 'mentally ill', both words used to discredit your observations. You are correct. I too, am autistic, and for the longest time I pretended I wasn't. Perhaps I deserved the ngligence from my mother? The assaults from my brother or the bulling, I faced as a child? Maybe Id eserved the poverty or bleeding wrists? Nope. It was my autisim, that made people hate me, and in turn I hate them back. I sufferede because my brain is wired differently. Anyway enough about me.

You are correct, the world is shit, and your friends won the great gamble at birth, you lost. Their pride won't let them admit their luck, no they "earned" it. Can I ask, why do you still talk to them about this? It's like talking to an olympic level sprinter about having your legs blown off by a landmine in Vietnam, what on Earth would he be able to bring to the conversation?

You should seek new friends that are more in tune with you, or at the least, decide if you want to truly get better? Myself? I have decided that my life for the whole 26 years I have been alive has been abuse, negligence, bullying, poverty, self hatred, what on Earth makes me think the next 26 years will be different?

Whatever you seek, best of luck!

Hello, I'm sorry you are suffering too, but I'm glad someone can understand. You're right, I relate to your experiences too, when I was younger I was always the problem not the system I was born into. Who cares that my brain was wired differently from birth, it's still my fault, right? Nah there's no issue with this life, you just need to ignore all the bullshit and pretend everything is fine, but I have never been able to ignore what a shitty place I have seen from the beginning of my life.

I never bring this topic up with my friends, they are always talking about the holidays they have planned with their families, etc., and things I cannot join in on or relate to, and they wonder why I am so sad. I should find new friends, it's hard though, I will need to make enough money to move away from my hometown. I have never planned on living past 25 though, definitely not 30, unless by some miracle I can enjoy my life.

 

[idk3]

It just seems like the only thing fair about life is that we all eventually die.

Genetics are such a bitch when you don't win that innate lottery :/

 

[Hotsackage]

I just ignore them, or don't talk to them. I get the same attitude from them.