Life is just a dice roll

[disgustedbyhumanity]

Even if there is a soul, your genetics and environment determine everything in life. It's not fair. I didn't even ask to be alive. Why am I born to serve, I can't even get anything out of my own life. My life isn't that horrible, I can't deal with trauma I have, even though it's not the worst out there. I can only imagine how much worse it is for those in war or those who get brutally maimed or anything else. It's sad and disgusting. This life, if you're a good person surrounded by commoners, it's over before it even started. Psychopathy wins.

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

I agree. Maybe there is a soul, maybe there isn't. All I know is that my genetics and environment were horrific and I'm stuck with an incurable autoimmune-like illness and various incurable genetic issues, leaving me totally cut off from feeling human.

I'm just going through the motions with this brutal anhedonia and possible dissociation. It's hard to just get through the days. I feel like I have no dopamine. I was born with fucked up pleasure pathways in my brain it seems. I would've preferred non-existence or another realm over this. This is beyond cruel.

 

[disgustedbyhumanity]

I agree. Maybe there is a soul, maybe there isn't. All I know is that my genetics and environment were horrific and I'm stuck with an incurable autoimmune-like illness and various incurable genetic issues, leaving me totally cut off from feeling human.

I'm just going through the motions with this brutal anhedonia and possible dissociation. It's hard to just get through the days. I feel like I have no dopamine. I was born with fucked up pleasure pathways in my brain it seems. I would've preferred non-existence or another realm over this. This is beyond cruel.

I have anhedonia too, you are not alone, my brain is fucked up just like yours. It's been this way since 2016 when I got a phone. Keep fighting (sorry if you don't like people saying that)

 

[bellaisdonewithlife]

I have anhedonia too, you are not alone, my brain is fucked up just like yours. It's been this way since 2016 when I got a phone. Keep fighting (sorry if you don't like people saying that)

Dang. That sucks. I don't want to live decades more in this state though since all the treatments I could find that had potential failed. If I knew there was an afterlife I'd go there tomorrow, but I guess the fear of there being nothingness keeps me alive way longer. I see what my future looks like now, the same as the last several years have gone, and I want no part of it.

 

[FuneralCry]

It truly is and what I find so terrible is how humans choose to impose this existence at all even know all of this is completely unnecessary, all that existence ever does is just cause all this pain and torture all for the sake of it with no limit as to how much agony one can feel and to me only never suffering at all is perfection. I'll always see existence as a mistake, I see it as a mistake to exist in this horrific world where there is all this endless cruelty and suffering, to me existence is always an abomination.

 

[voc_89]

yup and my avatar rolled a 1 during character creation. D&D humor aside. You are very correct. Alot is outside of our control. I also agree strongly with never being asked to be brought here. Selfish decisions made by selfish people.

 

[SoverignDreamer97]

I am a people-pleaser, but I cannot please everyone, and can only control the things I can control, which as my mother would say: I cannot bullshit a bullshitter, for "bullshit recognizes bullshit". And if that makes me a liability, why should I live?

For if I die, I die; though my father, mother, and the whole world forsake me, the Lord will surely bring me up. (Esther 4:11, Psalm 27:10)