Spite
Nil Desperandum.
- Aug 20, 2025
- 220
The longer I go on, the longer I live, the more bored and tired I am becoming of life. Almost nothing brings me joy anymore and I don't really look forward to anything. Pretty much everything feels like a drag, even the simplest things like cooking, eating, showering, brushing my teeth, putting on my shoes, driving my car. Much of life comes down to repetition and routine: working a 9-to-5, waking up and doing the same mundane shit over and over again, coping by consuming media in my free time and trying to distract myself with creative hobbies. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum. Kinda makes me not want to be here anymore, you know?
I used to have some zest for life when I was a kid - some semblance of curiosity and fascination that came with learning about all kinds of things while I was growing up, but the older I'm getting the more bleak everything feels. My life feels colourless and it's been that way for a long time. I'm just a husk of a human being now. There's not much more I can say.
It's all so pointless, and I'm so fucking tired of this. I wish I had the courage to end myself.
I used to have some zest for life when I was a kid - some semblance of curiosity and fascination that came with learning about all kinds of things while I was growing up, but the older I'm getting the more bleak everything feels. My life feels colourless and it's been that way for a long time. I'm just a husk of a human being now. There's not much more I can say.
It's all so pointless, and I'm so fucking tired of this. I wish I had the courage to end myself.