Lynx.
Member
- Sep 28, 2022
- 80
Life is too expensive and inefficient - it's a spectacle where the participants devour each other without reason, all part of a self-reproducing mechanism. At some point, one begins to question all the structures of life and it's worth: being alive is, again, too expensive, not in terms of money (which also applies), but in terms of suffering and death. Take a closer look at the average life of a sentient being on this earth, and what you'll find will surely make you want to throw up; animals tearing each other apart, babies being mauled to death by predators, or in some cases by their own parents. Individuals being slowly devoured by another after being poisoned and unable to move; another being slowly teared apart by a parasite taking over it's body... The list is endless, and the victims are far too many, and that is without adding the human victims that suffered, for example, cases of sexual assault, domestic violence, victims of war crimes and genocides, murders and medical conditions such as cancer or many others.
It is not alright, the price can never be justified - but our imposed ideologies and our need for self-preservation makes many of us think that it's quite fine, and that the suffering is worth it if some of us are having fun.
Needless to say, the cost is too much. Having been born just to witness this carnage and needless aggression is quite depressing, and it makes one to feel nauseated and weak. My parents were very naive, thinking that I could ever enjoy such a scenery. Now the pressure is mounting, since they insist that I should function as the rest of people, and that I should do something 'productive' with my life, such as having a job which would make me feel even more miserable. At the end of the day, I am too crippled by the spectacle of horrors and suffering before me, and other conditions such as autism, ocd and adhd, and of course gender dysphoria makes life even more difficult.
I may come across as whiny and ungrateful, which is fair, I suppose. I just don't find anything to be grateful for when it comes to have been born into this world. The most I can do is to not have any kids, and to not participate in the carnage to the maximum extent possible.
Since I lack the courage to go for a risky CTB method, for the time being, I'm stuck here until I have access to a effective and moderately painless method of fucking off from this earth. I used to be really afraid of being dead, but now I don't mind that part, I'm just concerned about the process of dying, which is almost as awful as the process of being born...
It is not alright, the price can never be justified - but our imposed ideologies and our need for self-preservation makes many of us think that it's quite fine, and that the suffering is worth it if some of us are having fun.
Needless to say, the cost is too much. Having been born just to witness this carnage and needless aggression is quite depressing, and it makes one to feel nauseated and weak. My parents were very naive, thinking that I could ever enjoy such a scenery. Now the pressure is mounting, since they insist that I should function as the rest of people, and that I should do something 'productive' with my life, such as having a job which would make me feel even more miserable. At the end of the day, I am too crippled by the spectacle of horrors and suffering before me, and other conditions such as autism, ocd and adhd, and of course gender dysphoria makes life even more difficult.
I may come across as whiny and ungrateful, which is fair, I suppose. I just don't find anything to be grateful for when it comes to have been born into this world. The most I can do is to not have any kids, and to not participate in the carnage to the maximum extent possible.
Since I lack the courage to go for a risky CTB method, for the time being, I'm stuck here until I have access to a effective and moderately painless method of fucking off from this earth. I used to be really afraid of being dead, but now I don't mind that part, I'm just concerned about the process of dying, which is almost as awful as the process of being born...
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