Let's get going.

[Cerulea]

The volume of thoughts about death in my brain is high. Primarily my own, but there are background processes in my brain that perpetually have a tether to thoughts under the umbrella of death. This has been true for as long as I can remember. For most of my life, I resisted those signals in my brain so aggressively. Then I was forced to acknowledge and co-exist with this frequency. Imagine a radio station in your mind that is always on and broadcasting internally. So I found this forum because my thoughts of death resonate with me deeply these days. And I saw a lot of people who shared and expressed thoughts that reached me.

I've never felt like I belonged here at all. Earth has almost exclusively felt foreign to me. Even in the places I have felt the most at home, I have only ever felt as though I am here by mistake. When I think about how non-consenual birth is, I become very alarmed at seeing how we have put death in a similar position socially. I do believe that when it's your time it very well ought to be yours to decide if that's how it shakes out. It's been a solid five years since I've been able to argue against the personal decision that is end of life. There is a difference between my consciousness and my physical body. I am seeking to uncouple these two concepts.

A bit ago, I officially decided to get out of here. I don't want to be here. I have no fear of death, not one concern as to what is to be found once I show myself out. What absolutely terrifies me, to marrow in my bones, is having to stay here one moment longer than I have to. After a few failed attempts, and a lifetime of anguish, I decided to take my process seriously and find an honest to goodness path out. Choosing a method and understanding this decision in its entirety became my priority. And, in a weird way, it felt right to talk about it. Perhaps we normalize letting people talk these things out, work out their thoughts, and make autonomous decisions.

Everyone has their reasons for being here. They're all valid. The past week or so that I've been able to read through this forum has inspired me to take a more hands on approach. And I want to thank everyone for being here. The candor and care of these discussions is genuinely relieving to see. I feel much safer in my decision making. There is something that resembles peace in me. I just wanted to express that to anyone who cares. I look forward to interacting with many of you during the time we share in this space together.

 

[theboy]

I feel the same way. The world has never been for me. I should never have been born. I don't belong on this dark earth
I wish you much peace

 

[FuneralCry]

I know that I've never belonged in this world as well. It's never felt right me being alive and I've always seen life as being an unnecessary burden, one that I never asked for and could never want to endure. I see no value to enduring existence. Life also terrifies me with it's unlimited potential for suffering and misery. I believe that for me ceasing to exist is the best thing possible.

Suicide should be able to be talked about openly as after all we will all die anyway so to me it's preferable to exit when the time is right for me rather than leaving this world at a time out of my control. There's nothing wrong with suicide, it's a personal decision when to leave and people should learn to respect that. I do dislike how we live in a world where suicide is so stigmatised.
I wish you freedom.

 

[Traveler VII]

The volume of thoughts about death in my brain is high. Primarily my own, but there are background processes in my brain that perpetually have a tether to thoughts under the umbrella of death. This has been true for as long as I can remember. For most of my life, I resisted those signals in my brain so aggressively. Then I was forced to acknowledge and co-exist with this frequency. Imagine a radio station in your mind that is always on and broadcasting internally. So I found this forum because my thoughts of death resonate with me deeply these days. And I saw a lot of people who shared and expressed thoughts that reached me.

I've never felt like I belonged here at all. Earth has almost exclusively felt foreign to me. Even in the places I have felt the most at home, I have only ever felt as though I am here by mistake. When I think about how non-consenual birth is, I become very alarmed at seeing how we have put death in a similar position socially. I do believe that when it's your time it very well ought to be yours to decide if that's how it shakes out. It's been a solid five years since I've been able to argue against the personal decision that is end of life. There is a difference between my consciousness and my physical body. I am seeking to uncouple these two concepts.

A bit ago, I officially decided to get out of here. I don't want to be here. I have no fear of death, not one concern as to what is to be found once I show myself out. What absolutely terrifies me, to marrow in my bones, is having to stay here one moment longer than I have to. After a few failed attempts, and a lifetime of anguish, I decided to take my process seriously and find an honest to goodness path out. Choosing a method and understanding this decision in its entirety became my priority. And, in a weird way, it felt right to talk about it. Perhaps we normalize letting people talk these things out, work out their thoughts, and make autonomous decisions.

Everyone has their reasons for being here. They're all valid. The past week or so that I've been able to read through this forum has inspired me to take a more hands on approach. And I want to thank everyone for being here. The candor and care of these discussions is genuinely relieving to see. I feel much safer in my decision making. There is something that resembles peace in me. I just wanted to express that to anyone who cares. I look forward to interacting with many of you during the time we share in this space together.

An eloquent and well-reasoned post that mirrors the rationale of myself and others here.

Despite any differing circumstances as individuals, the consensus is clear:

We have never truly belonged to this realm.

 

[Cerulea]

I wish you freedom.

That very much struck me. Thank you. I wish you freedom as well.