Story Leaving SS

[EmmaD]

I came back here because I've been failed by the mental health system and felt I wanted to connect to others with the same diagnosis as me. Feeling that like-mindedness helps me. I believe in freedom of choice in regards to ctb especially if the people who are meant to help you have failed over and over again.
BUT..I'm struggling being here as a parent.. I do feel antinatalism has taken over on SS and it's such an extreme belief leaving no room for other viewpoints. I feel a bit of an oddity here as a mum.. I've had messages from other parents here who are scared to out themselves as parents due to backlash from antinatalists.
BPD has made my relationships hard, including with my eldest daughter. But I can't even talk about it without feeling like I'm judged for having kids. My beautiful children are my proudest achievement. I will NEVER regret having them. I'm not actively suicidal anymore, so it feels wrong to take up space where so many people are still in that place. I feel like a fake being here when I have so much to be thankful for, and things in life are happy. I have SS to thank for some of that though.. the good advice I got when things were difficult with one of my children, saw me through.. and now we are on the other side.
I'll always have the back of SS, it's admins and members. But it doesn't feel right for me to be active here anymore xx

 

[Zegers]

Best wishes whatever you do

 

[EternalShore]

Goodbye~!! And yeahhh, I hate the anti-natalist sentiment here! :( It's truly awful! >_<
and also, you are so lucky! I want my own kids so badly, but it's so hopeless and far away it makes me want to CTB! aaaaaaaa >_<

 

[Pluto]

Sorry to see you go, though it is good that you've found yourself in a slightly better place.

I understand your grievance, and have tried to speak out about it in the past. It is a genuine loss for the site when more mature, level-headed people get kicked out by angry mobs pushing some sort of philosophical agenda unrelated to the core subject matter of end-of-life choices. I'm still around but find it harder to make any sort of contribution when endless repetition of the same narrow worldview is the only accepted narrative.

The tragedy of having less life experience is a Dunning-Kruger-style double-whammy of shameless overconfidence in one's own biases along with a lack of openness to alternative viewpoints. As a conformist culture, it's one step away from censorship of anyone who has experienced the complexity of a life which does not only entail looking out for oneself while lashing out at the world, to say nothing of respecting the hardships of others without judgement. Alas, I see no recovery on the horizon for me, so my slow demise will continue.

I wish you the very best with your endeavours and hope you can find genuine recovery.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I do feel antinatalism has taken over on SS and it's such an extreme belief leaving no room for other viewpoints. I feel a bit of an oddity here as a mum.. I've had messages from other parents here who are scared to out themselves as parents due to backlash from antinatalists.

Antinatalist here. Reading this post made me a bit sad, to be honest. I won't try to justify the animosity you might have encountered, but I'd imagine that it's mostly due to the fact that the user base of this site skews towards the younger end of the spectrum. Lots of young folks who are still dealing with school, fighting with parents, etc., so they lash out at parents they encounter here as a proxy for their issues with their own parents. I wouldn't take those reactions too seriously, but I suppose that's easy to say when I'm not being targeted by them.

Personally, I don't judge people who have kids. I also don't hate my parents. I sympathise with antinatalism, but I'm also not arrogant enough to try and force my views on others. The one thing I hope for is that, if someone has kids, they do it because they're willing to go all the way and be responsible, and don't cause a kid any additional and unnecessary suffering. The world is a fucked up place as it is, so don't give your kids additional trauma. Be a source of strength for them, not a source of pain.

In any case, I wish you and your family the best. I'm glad to know you're feeling much better than you did before. Be the best mum you can be for your kids, and enjoy your life with them.

 

[Kasumi]

This is quiet the surprise as I havn't come across antinatalism here before tbh, that said it was only once or twice that I actually saw someone say that they're a parent so..
I want to add that a lot of people here have / had a bad family, your family is supposed to be among the first to support you yet for many of us, the people who should've helped us the most did the most damage.
So it makes sense that people here don't exactly connect positive memories with their family.

Not that that would justify to judge someone for being a parent tho.
It might make sense in our present times, logically thinking having children might not be the best thing, global warming, etc, but its a fundamental part of what makes us not just humans but living beings so I don't think anyone can deny others to get children even if they decide for themselves that they don't want any.

 

[FuneralCry]

This is a forum for suicidal people to vent after all, and I'm sorry if this offends people on here but many of us wish that we never existed. People aren't going to come on a suicide forum posting about how "happy" they are to exist so if people on here are looking to read posts like that then they are in the wrong place.

And I think that antinatalism isn't talked about enough honestly, there needs to be more awareness about how harmful it is to force life into such a hellish world that is filled with endless suffering. All the torment that humans have had to experience is a result of them being so cruelly burdened with existence in the first place so I think that antinatalism makes sense, it's compassionate to not punish people by giving them the ability to suffer in an existence that is filled with endless risks and harm, the non-existent should be left alone in peace.

I wish that humans were aware enough not to procreate so that this species will finally go extinct and no human will ever have to suffer so unnecessarily ever again. There are no disadvantages to not existing, but existence holds unlimited potential for harm so of course I wish that I never existed at all. This world is such a dangeous, nightmarish place and it could never be justified forcing life here as it's simply impossible to comprehend the amount of senseless cruelty and endless suffering that has been experienced here all throughout history. I see existence as being nothing more than a horrific mistake.

 

[MeltingBrain]

I came back here because I've been failed by the mental health system and felt I wanted to connect to others with the same diagnosis as me. Feeling that like-mindedness helps me. I believe in freedom of choice in regards to ctb especially if the people who are meant to help you have failed over and over again.
BUT..I'm struggling being here as a parent.. I do feel antinatalism has taken over on SS and it's such an extreme belief leaving no room for other viewpoints. I feel a bit of an oddity here as a mum.. I've had messages from other parents here who are scared to out themselves as parents due to backlash from antinatalists.
BPD has made my relationships hard, including with my eldest daughter. But I can't even talk about it without feeling like I'm judged for having kids. My beautiful children are my proudest achievement. I will NEVER regret having them. I'm not actively suicidal anymore, so it feels wrong to take up space where so many people are still in that place. I feel like a fake being here when I have so much to be thankful for, and things in life are happy. I have SS to thank for some of that though.. the good advice I got when things were difficult with one of my children, saw me through.. and now we are on the other side.
I'll always have the back of SS, it's admins and members. But it doesn't feel right for me to be active here anymore xx

What happened ?
Did someone say something to you ?

 

[The anhedonic one]

Suicidal feelings and mental illness are completely unrelated to anti-natalism.
This is a forum for people who are struggling with mental health problems and existential crisis leading to suicidal ideation.
we are " supposed " to be here to support each other, not tear each other down.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Hello @EmmaD,

BUT..I'm struggling being here as a parent.. I do feel antinatalism has taken over on SS and it's such an extreme belief leaving no room for other viewpoints. I feel a bit of an oddity here as a mum.. I've had messages from other parents here who are scared to out themselves as parents due to backlash from antinatalists.

I'm so sorry to hear that...
I believe you're a good mum, and being a mum is one of the most virtuous act you could do.

Thanks so much
Bon voyage - may you find support in another place

 

[xXAJBXx]

I may be new here, but im glad to hear that your doing better.

While I don't really object to those with antinatalism ideals, I can only imagine how heartbreaking the sheer thought of it could be for a parent. Not a parent myself (despite my tendency for dad jokes) but I have witnessed firsthand the lengths parents are willing to go to for the sake of their kid(s).


Convincing yourself that you are the sole reason your child is suffering (whether its true or not is irrelevant, nor do I particularly give a damn) is just going to spiral you into a hole.

Best of luck, on all future endeavors.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm glad to hear you're doing a little better and I'm sorry to see you go. I'm also sorry if I have offended you in the past. I'm afraid I do hold anti-natilist views. I guess I tend to view it as an overall concept really without properly considering individual circumstances. I guess I tend to get annoyed when life seems to be viewed as compulsory to people just because we were born- when we didn't get the choice.

I can see though that such talk and views can come across as aggresive and must feel very issolating to someone with children. I guess none of us really know where life might have taken us if things had been different and yeah- it would be kind of monstrous for a parent to regret having a child. Unless I suppose that child was suffering terribly and they felt responsible. I'm sure most parents have children with the best of intentions and I'm glad yours bring you such pride. I wish you and your family all the very best.

 

[Emma.D]

That didn't last long did it! I'm back. And @Forever Sleep you NEVER did anything to offend me xx

 

[Forever Sleep]

That didn't last long did it! I'm back. And @Forever Sleep you NEVER did anything to offend me xx

I'm relieved to hear it. Welcome back. I hope you can find sollace here. I don't disagree with the anti-natilist viewpoint but I think we should do our best to support one another here. We're all struggling.

 

[Emma.D]

I'm relieved to hear it. Welcome back. I hope you can find sollace here. I don't disagree with the anti-natilist viewpoint but I think we should do our best to support one another here. We're all struggling.

I always do get solace here for sure.. I sometimes run away from things too easily but all the positives I get on SS are absolutely worth sticking around for xx

 

[TraumaEscapee:)]

I came back here because I've been failed by the mental health system and felt I wanted to connect to others with the same diagnosis as me. Feeling that like-mindedness helps me. I believe in freedom of choice in regards to ctb especially if the people who are meant to help you have failed over and over again.
BUT..I'm struggling being here as a parent.. I do feel antinatalism has taken over on SS and it's such an extreme belief leaving no room for other viewpoints. I feel a bit of an oddity here as a mum.. I've had messages from other parents here who are scared to out themselves as parents due to backlash from antinatalists.
BPD has made my relationships hard, including with my eldest daughter. But I can't even talk about it without feeling like I'm judged for having kids. My beautiful children are my proudest achievement. I will NEVER regret having them. I'm not actively suicidal anymore, so it feels wrong to take up space where so many people are still in that place. I feel like a fake being here when I have so much to be thankful for, and things in life are happy. I have SS to thank for some of that though.. the good advice I got when things were difficult with one of my children, saw me through.. and now we are on the other side.
I'll always have the back of SS, it's admins and members. But it doesn't feel right for me to be active here anymore xx

My birth dad comitted suicide when I was a baby. I wouldn't say you're a bad person but I would say that the effect may be profound on your children, ie victims may be created. I was a victim of my birth dad's actions. He chose to have me and chose to abandon me when he made his choice because I wasn't important enough for him or lovable enough. I died years ago as a child when I made a suicide attempt I was brought back. I feel bad for you. I'm 23 btw my birth dad died when I was a baby. It was the gateway to paedophiles abusing me because they knew he wasn't around to protect me. He made the choice to have me and the choice to abandon me and remove himself as my first line of protection.

 

[voyager]

Well, the latter two thirds of my life were mostly bad and yet I still don't subscribe to the idea of antinatalism. I can see why some might, especially if they've never had any good times at all, but to me it's ultimately wishful thinking and therefore a symptom. To me, the cure is unrestricted euthanasia, because it's the only impartial solution which allows everyone to decide for themselves if they regard this life worth living or not.

Apart from general reasons, I do feel it's a pity that @Emma.D was made to feel uncomfortable here, since she as a parent wasn't hostile towards this place. We don't have too many of those (even though we should). Normally, I'd tell Emma to just ignore the posts, but a quick browse shows that some people did attack her personally for what she supposedly represents. Not just parenthood, but in essence their parents and childhood.

That's just wrong. Noticed it too when someone asked if their friend was a pedophile and again on the beauty thread. On all three threads, people began projecting their trauma onto others here, either making insinuations or directly attacking them as their tormentors. What we do have in common is suicidal ideation, that doesn't mean though that all our stories and views have to be identical. Less projecting and more tolerance towards others would serve some well here. Just because we've had different experiences doesn't mean we would condone what may have happened to you.

 

[Riig]

The Anti-Natalist "Billions must die" rethoric is genuinely getting annoying on this Website especially when its the same angsty ass 5 paragraphs written like a shitty Young Adult Novel trying to be edgy to be more relatable because the writer doesnt understand the youth in the slightest, dear Lord man.