Kinda just wanted to post as im a bit scared even tho death is the only good option for me.
I have been lowering my hemoglobin since early June as a way to die. Its gone from roughly 100 to the 20s. (It should be 115-155).
The 20s are high risk for death. About 2.5 weeks ago my level was 33. 2 people called ambos on me when my blood resukts came back, i refused the first but went with the 2nd as they said thed try get me MH help. Of course our govt doesnt want to spend anything on therapy so I havnt got any (& ive asked for 3 years).
Since then ive removed 780ml which is about 19 hemoglobin points for me (short female). My hb must have climbed over the 2.5 weeks or id be dead right now. But im unsure ile wake up tomorrow my hr lying is 120 & when I stand it goes nuts (I cant really stand atm).
Im just a bit scared, im 36 & after 23 years of worsening depression with no break & an ABI when i was 17 meaning i cant study & try to build a life that id want anymore. (Plus I have severe delayed sleep phase disorder, adhd, ocd like tendencies, an eating disorder & questionable autism) I have next to no friends, no life whatsoever it feels. So desth is the right choice I know this. But im still a bit scared. Much less then years ago, but scared none the less. Death could be tonight, tomorrow, a week, or years away. I hope I just go to sleep & dont wake up
I have been lowering my hemoglobin since early June as a way to die. Its gone from roughly 100 to the 20s. (It should be 115-155).
The 20s are high risk for death. About 2.5 weeks ago my level was 33. 2 people called ambos on me when my blood resukts came back, i refused the first but went with the 2nd as they said thed try get me MH help. Of course our govt doesnt want to spend anything on therapy so I havnt got any (& ive asked for 3 years).
Since then ive removed 780ml which is about 19 hemoglobin points for me (short female). My hb must have climbed over the 2.5 weeks or id be dead right now. But im unsure ile wake up tomorrow my hr lying is 120 & when I stand it goes nuts (I cant really stand atm).
Im just a bit scared, im 36 & after 23 years of worsening depression with no break & an ABI when i was 17 meaning i cant study & try to build a life that id want anymore. (Plus I have severe delayed sleep phase disorder, adhd, ocd like tendencies, an eating disorder & questionable autism) I have next to no friends, no life whatsoever it feels. So desth is the right choice I know this. But im still a bit scared. Much less then years ago, but scared none the less. Death could be tonight, tomorrow, a week, or years away. I hope I just go to sleep & dont wake up
