Laying in bed, doing nothing. All alone, no one cares

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I must deserve it
Thinking about suicide methods
Really thinking to kill myself until Sunday or even earlier
Maybe hanging or maybe jump in front of a train before trying to see one person one last time

 

[Lynx.]

Same here. I'm doing nothing at all, just laying in bed, and I don't plan on changing it for the next few days. I'm pretty much burned out with everything and if I ever get to be productive it's only because I'm forced to do so by external pressure.

I know doing this only worsens my condition, but quite honestly, getting out of the comfy bed will make it even worse as well...

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Same here. I'm doing nothing at all, just laying in bed, and I don't plan on changing it for the next few days. I'm pretty much burned out with everything and if I ever get to be productive it's only because I'm forced to do so by external pressure.

I know doing this only worsens my condition, but quite honestly, getting out of the comfy bed will make it even worse as well...

It doesnt even worthy anymore. For what

 

[rationaltake]

It's unbearable. I know.

 

[emgrl]

All I keep hearing is how me staying inside is just making things worse. I don't think that's true. No one can understand what we're going through. Going out gives me such anxiety, even thinking about it makes my whole body shake. Forget about reaching for the doorknob. Straight up convulsions. I don't know what my trauma triggered in my brain, but it's not going to go away… and no amount of meds or coping skills will help that.

I wish some professionals would just own up and realize, not everyone can be saved. Some of us can't recover because it's not just about an altered mental state, it's also about an altered physical being. How can you expect someone to live in a body they don't know and don't want to be in? You can't ask someone to do that, reminding them all along that they have to do the hard work. No, I've already done so much hard work. My body won't ever go back to the way it was. If there's no way to physically go back to my normal self, there's no way I can go back to my normal mental self.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is sad how so much suffering exists in this world but the fact is that it's simply inevitable in a life like this. As long as we exist there is no true peace. I know that it can be hard to carry on existing when you so desperately want to exit, living really can be so painful. I wish you freedom.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

It's unbearable. I know.

Thank you for being with me

 

[rationaltake]

I don't want you to be all alone.

 

[whatevs]

Yes, it's loneliness that's the major killer IMO, I feel it in my bones as well. Never really leaves you and as soon as you have some time to reflect it swoops down on its prey with no mercy.

It's also dangerous when you make a friend after prolonged loneliness, the consequences of failure leave you in a worse state than when you were resigned to be alone.

 

[makethepainstop]

Y'all ever have days where you are suddenly hurting worse, but there is no reason to be hurting. Except that your alive? That is what I think the original poster is feeling. I know I am!

 

[Hurt]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. I am feeling the same and I don't know what else to do. I am tired of everything.

 

[madebrief]

I wish some professionals would just own up and realize, not everyone can be saved. Some of us can't recover because it's not just about an altered mental state, it's also about an altered physical being. How can you expect someone to live in a body they don't know and don't want to be in? You can't ask someone to do that, reminding them all along that they have to do the hard work. No, I've already done so much hard work. My body won't ever go back to the way it was. If there's no way to physically go back to my normal self, there's no way I can go back to my normal mental self.

Perfect point made. The altered mental state is the word I've been looking for. There's no way I can go back to my normal self whatever that was. Even then, it wasn't the right normal self. I'm all ruined in the mind.
All professionals are just that. Pro-life.

 

[CTB Dream]

Samey feel bed time all inability entire world not care human cruel even kniw not care best leave world no interact humanity more psin more damage, wamt ctb soon damage worse day day