Saki
A failed artist, student, daughter and friend
- Mar 22, 2021
- 181
I have been thinking for a while. This post probably will be pointless anyway. Maybe this is also just a self reflection
I don't remember what drove me to this site first. I guess it was my shitty environment. I have been here for 4 years now. And a few things in my life do have changed. I haven't been working for 2 years/been trying to go school. Well a few things didn't work out. I managed to make 2 friends over the years. I mean I don't see em very often, but that doesn't make them less dear to me.
I just, I don't know if I have anything that keeps me going. I haven't had a proper attempt in a while. I did tho attempt last year i honestly don't remember.
Sometimes I worry my roots here have tied too much with this site. I don't know if it's destroying me. Was coming here a bad choice? Tho, I met nice people on here. But just seeing death surrounded by me daily isn't healthy. And I'm on here a lot too. Not only that even my friends in real life suffer from mental illness. You attract what you are I guess.
I try to be a good person, but I make foolish choices
All in all I don't have a point to keep going. Suicidal thoughts are the only thing I have known for years. My only real "goal" was to die.
I think I'll never be normal
I don't remember what drove me to this site first. I guess it was my shitty environment. I have been here for 4 years now. And a few things in my life do have changed. I haven't been working for 2 years/been trying to go school. Well a few things didn't work out. I managed to make 2 friends over the years. I mean I don't see em very often, but that doesn't make them less dear to me.
I just, I don't know if I have anything that keeps me going. I haven't had a proper attempt in a while. I did tho attempt last year i honestly don't remember.
Sometimes I worry my roots here have tied too much with this site. I don't know if it's destroying me. Was coming here a bad choice? Tho, I met nice people on here. But just seeing death surrounded by me daily isn't healthy. And I'm on here a lot too. Not only that even my friends in real life suffer from mental illness. You attract what you are I guess.
I try to be a good person, but I make foolish choices
All in all I don't have a point to keep going. Suicidal thoughts are the only thing I have known for years. My only real "goal" was to die.
I think I'll never be normal
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