Late diagnosis and trauma

[CentreMid]

I'm in my early 20's. I didn't think I would live past high school, yet here I am, typing this out.

I got a diagnosis for ADHD last year, and it makes me so angry that so many struggles I have in life stem from this one condition. I could've been spared the hassle and abuse growing up if only parents decided to actually get me checked out instead of denying that anything was wrong with me. So many of my problems were swpet under the rug because they refused to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, and I've suffered so much because of it. This also applies to my mental illnesses (they've been greatly ignored by others as well, unfortunately), however it all stems from the one underlying condition.

I'm currently learning how to cope, live and thrive with my condition, but I'm still so angry that I wasn't allowed to have a childhood because my needs weren't met.

Has anyone else here recieved a late diagnosis for something that greatly impacted their childhood and therefore shaped the way you experience life today?

 

[pizzafiend]

My therapist insisted I get a diagnosis, but the place she recommended is booked out until the end of June. Since I'm unemployed and also don't have insurance, the representative told me it's gonna cost me about 2300 dollars, which I can't afford anymore. I'm considering cancelling the appointment and just giving up, because I just can't find any work at all. It's like the people working in HR and the hiring departments just don't want to work anymore

 

[thankyou]

Late diagnosed autism and adhd here. It's the reason I'm in this forum. It's taken away my last hope. Before I knew, I would try to aim for a normal life and goals. Now I know nothing I dreamed of will ever happen, not even the average life goals like making a livable wage, having hobbies, friends, and a family. Hope used to keep me going. I don't really care anymore. Im sorry you're going through something similar. It's been a few years for me but the shock of the diagnosis has never really gone away.

 

[Asphyxiater]

I'm in my early 20's. I didn't think I would live past high school, yet here I am, typing this out.

I got a diagnosis for ADHD last year, and it makes me so angry that so many struggles I have in life stem from this one condition. I could've been spared the hassle and abuse growing up if only parents decided to actually get me checked out instead of denying that anything was wrong with me. So many of my problems were swpet under the rug because they refused to acknowledge that there was something wrong with me, and I've suffered so much because of it. This also applies to my mental illnesses (they've been greatly ignored by others as well, unfortunately), however it all stems from the one underlying condition.

I'm currently learning how to cope, live and thrive with my condition, but I'm still so angry that I wasn't allowed to have a childhood because my needs weren't met.

Has anyone else here recieved a late diagnosis for something that greatly impacted their childhood and therefore shaped the way you experience life today?

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Can't quite relate to the mental illness you're going through, but I tried to commit suicide in front of my mother and sister and all they did was stop me and told me to "have some self respect" and that's it. Never did they talk about it again. I can understand having parents not check up on you.

 

[CentreMid]

My therapist insisted I get a diagnosis, but the place she recommended is booked out until the end of June. Since I'm unemployed and also don't have insurance, the representative told me it's gonna cost me about 2300 dollars, which I can't afford anymore. I'm considering cancelling the appointment and just giving up, because I just can't find any work at all. It's like the people working in HR and the hiring departments just don't want to work anymore

I'm not sure where you're located, but I'm in Canada. While the waitlist for mental health services is longer than any of us here would like to admit, it's still free. Depending on where you are, do you think you would be able to wait long enough to get a diagnosis?

As for work, is there any specific industry you're looking at? In the meantime, would it be possible to do odd jobs like lawn-mowing, house-sitting or dog-walking? I know the income isn't fixed with odd jobs and you probably won't get much for each job, but you'll still get something at least, and that way you could save up for a diagnosis if you didn't want to wait too long. I'm hesitant to recommend entry-level things like fast-food and retail because they're soul crushing and not everybody is cut out for that kind of work, but they are options nonetheless.

I'm just throwing my thoughts out here, feel free to ignore them lol

 

[pizzafiend]

I'm nearly thirty and have worked my fair share of shitty jobs haha. I guess my big problem thats holding me back from employment is just not being as skilled as I should be at this point in life? I only have an associate's degree from a community college, but I also can't afford any more school or certifications. Just renewing my food handler's license is like 150 bucks.

I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking that even getting a diagnosis wouldn't really help. My biggest fear is going in and paying all that money just for them to say there's nothing wrong with me. My therapist says I shouldn't be scared of that, which makes me laugh haha. But seriously, unless my diagnosis can get me on disability I don't think I have much hope for my future.

 

[CentreMid]

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. Can't quite relate to the mental illness you're going through, but I tried to commit suicide in front of my mother and sister and all they did was stop me and told me to "have some self respect" and that's it. Never did they talk about it again. I can understand having parents not check up on you.

I'm sorry you had to go through that! Being more specific about things being swept under the rug, a similar thing happened to me regarding my self-harm. My family told me to get over it, even taunted me when I got upset. They said things like "Oh so you're upset now? Why don't you go to the kitchen and grab a knife and slice yourself to pieces?"

This sort of thing happened most frequently when I was 15/16/17. It still follows me to this say.

 

[Octavia]

Due to living in a conservative environment and my own idiocy, I only figured out that I was not exactly cis over half a decade into my first puberty… I could have avoided a lot of problems had I been more perceptive. But then again, I might just have gotten myself shipped to another country and into conversion therapy had I tried to address the issue earlier.

 

[CentreMid]

I'm nearly thirty and have worked my fair share of shitty jobs haha. I guess my big problem thats holding me back from employment is just not being as skilled as I should be at this point in life? I only have an associate's degree from a community college, but I also can't afford any more school or certifications. Just renewing my food handler's license is like 150 bucks.

I'm getting to the point where I'm thinking that even getting a diagnosis wouldn't really help. My biggest fear is going in and paying all that money just for them to say there's nothing wrong with me. My therapist says I shouldn't be scared of that, which makes me laugh haha. But seriously, unless my diagnosis can get me on disability I don't think I have much hope for my future.

If trying to recover has taught me anything in my short life, it's that you are exactly where you are meant to be. This whole "I should be a certain way at x stage of my life" is just a myth, and that trying to find a diagnosis and ending up "fine" is just another step towards knowing yourself. However, this isn't the recovery forum so I'll save the rest of my thoughts on this for another time. I do know how it feels to seem "behind" in life. A lot of my peers have successful jobs and happy relationships while I'm stuck in a part-time retail position with a relationship that's barely hanging on by a thread. I get that I'm younger than you are, but it's still discouraging to see everyone else thriving regardless of the life stage.

Do you have any artistic skills? You could try to sell your work. If you have a pet, you could start a social media page for them, gain a large following and get some passive income that way. Even if you don't use the money for a diagnosis, you'll still have money for whatever else you choose. Anywho, I wish you the best of luck!

(Edited for clarity. I keep overthinking my words, and I hate coming across as unempathetic. I'm sorry if I have!)

Due to living in a conservative environment and my own idiocy, I only figured out that I was not exactly cis over half a decade into my first puberty… I could have avoided a lot of problems had I been more perceptive. But then again, I might just have gotten myself shipped to another country and into conversion therapy had I tried to address the issue earlier.

I'm sorry that you weren't able to explore and express your true self. I know exactly how you feel for slightly different reasons (I'm Bi), and choosing between being true to yourself and risking your safety versus staying safe but not living authentically is a bitch for sure.

Just wanna let you know that my account is safe for you and anyone else who's LGBTQ+ here. I know we all have our own individual struggles, but it's more comforting to know that I'm not alone. Sending you a virtual hug if you'd like