Life.Journey.Unknown
I'm not strong enough for life.
- Feb 24, 2020
- 65
So, things are falling into place for my suicide journey. But I'm not quite ready. Yet.
I'm not an impulsive person. I like to plan things. When I shut my life down I want to be able to go without any nagging worries in my subconscious.
I don't want any last minute worries to ruin my last moments.
And I know that one thing I should sort out is a last will.
Shiiit... it's more damn hassle when I have no motivation, dragging myself through each day is a struggle.
But for peace of mind in my last moments it will be worth it.
I don't want any worries. It has to go smoothly and efficiently. I would say "peacefully" but I know that ending your life may never be entirely peaceful.
I like to use the word "efficiently". Smoothly, efficiently, without any worries or second thoughts... I'll be happy with that. Such a comforting thought.
I suppose I'm writing this/thinking out loud in case other people may feel the same.
For me this was a subconscious hurdle that had been nagging me and I need to overcome.
You may think "Why would you care, you'll be dead..."
Which is 100% true. It's just those last moments of conscious thought in my last moments of life is what I care about... I just want to think "...Everything is sorted... no worries, time to go..."
Like I said, I'm not an impulsive person and I like to plan for things.
Anyway, thanks for reading x
I'm not an impulsive person. I like to plan things. When I shut my life down I want to be able to go without any nagging worries in my subconscious.
I don't want any last minute worries to ruin my last moments.
And I know that one thing I should sort out is a last will.
Shiiit... it's more damn hassle when I have no motivation, dragging myself through each day is a struggle.
But for peace of mind in my last moments it will be worth it.
I don't want any worries. It has to go smoothly and efficiently. I would say "peacefully" but I know that ending your life may never be entirely peaceful.
I like to use the word "efficiently". Smoothly, efficiently, without any worries or second thoughts... I'll be happy with that. Such a comforting thought.
I suppose I'm writing this/thinking out loud in case other people may feel the same.
For me this was a subconscious hurdle that had been nagging me and I need to overcome.
You may think "Why would you care, you'll be dead..."
Which is 100% true. It's just those last moments of conscious thought in my last moments of life is what I care about... I just want to think "...Everything is sorted... no worries, time to go..."
Like I said, I'm not an impulsive person and I like to plan for things.
Anyway, thanks for reading x