Last week on earth

[ilysummer]

Well this week officially marks my last week on earth. I've unsuccesfully attempted to go through with it before, but that was emotional and impulsive. This time it's more calculated and I'm more at peace with my decision. It's sad, but this is the only place I can really express my honest final thoughts without being forcibly hospitalised. In the past envisioning my passing would give me crippling anxiety, but honestly my life is such a mess now that it's actually comforting. People often say that suicide is a selfish act. However, after some painful introspection, I've realised I'm such an emotional and financial leech that my loved ones' quality of life actually improves after I'm gone. After the initial grieving of course. It makes the decision easier, but it stings a bit lol. In the past I've been prone to self indulgence and focused on the things I won't get to experience in life. Recently, however, I've learned to be grateful for my 21 trips around the sun. A lot of people don't even get to make it this far or get to experience the quality of life that I was lucky enough to be born into. Sucks I won't be able to watch the new batman though :( Regardless I'm thankful to this forum for making me feel less alone in the final year of my life and I hope that everyone here finds peace <3.

 

[waitingforrest]

It's sad that most of us in our final moments won't be able to express our feelings without getting hospitalized.

Peace to you too bud, I hope the best for you.

 

[Darkover]

well good luck to you may you have a safe passing
what would you do with your last week on Earth?

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I'm really glad you found this forum and were able to get some peace of mind from it. Good luck on your journey.

 

[ilysummer]

well good luck to you may you have a safe passing
what would you do with your last week on Earth?

In all honesty I only gave myself a week to sort my belongings and write my goodbyes. Only things I had planned were to finish some series and get wasted lol. Open to suggestions tho.

 

[Somber]

In all honesty I only gave myself a week to sort my belongings and write my goodbyes. Only things I had planned were to finish some series and get wasted lol. Open to suggestions tho.

Maybe you could write something for those you leave behind, so that they will better be able to cope with your loss.

While I don't know your reasons to CTB, I hope you have carefully considered all alternatives solutions and wish you the best in whatever choice you make.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be a relief to feel at peace with your decision. I find death to be comforting as well as it is the end of all suffering. I wish you the best.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I feel similarly about being a leech to my family. They will cry about /the idea of/ me and the loss of /the idea of/ our relationship. The person who I was - am, until mid March, hopefully - is not what they truly care about. I know this because they always tried - and still try - to change me. In the long term they will be better off without me dragging them down and wasting their time and energy trying to fix an irreconcilably broken creature.

I have some drugs that will be wasted if I don't use them - may as well try to wring every last bit of dopamine from my withered brain before the last days of my life. I'm gonna party til I die.

If I may ask, what is your method?

 

[Silenos]

Sucks I won't be able to watch the new batman though :(

It's coming out in less than 1,5 month. Why not wait? :o

 

[Zotz101]

Good luck with everything.

If this is truly your last week, I wish you the most peaceful transition and contentment with your choice.

Yet, if there is even a slight possibility that you want to keep on going, maybe you should. Suicide is an irreversible act. Don't treat it lightly. Outline all the things that you'd possibly miss out on. The people you'd hurt. Right it down. Visualise it. Think deeply about if you'd really want to do that.

Make sure all your loose ends are tied up, too. Who do you want to give your possessions too? Do you want to donate your organs (if possible)? Is there anything you wish not to be left unsaid? Do you owe anyone anything? Do you want to be cremated or buried? If you want to be buried, where? Or, if you want to be cremated, do you want to spread out in a specific location or be located in an urn? Those types of questions are important to ask as you consider the decision to seriously catch the bus.

 

[SomeoneDutch]

I wish you the best of luck whatever will happen. Don't hesitate to reach out to people if you feel it can help you.

 

[ilysummer]

Good luck with everything.

If this is truly your last week, I wish you the most peaceful transition and contentment with your choice.

Yet, if there is even a slight possibility that you want to keep on going, maybe you should. Suicide is an irreversible act. Don't treat it lightly. Outline all the things that you'd possibly miss out on. The people you'd hurt. Right it down. Visualise it. Think deeply about if you'd really want to do that.

Make sure all your loose ends are tied up, too. Who do you want to give your possessions too? Do you want to donate your organs (if possible)? Is there anything you wish not to be left unsaid? Do you owe anyone anything? Do you want to be cremated or buried? If you want to be buried, where? Or, if you want to be cremated, do you want to spread out in a specific location or be located in an urn? Those types of questions are important to ask as you consider the decision to seriously catch the bus.

I've had countless opportunities to keep going in the past and messed them up every time so I'm definitely sure this is what I want for myself now. I appreciate the concern though :)

It's coming out in less than 1,5 month. Why not wait? :o

The situation I'm trying to escape is bit time sensitive and to be honest another month and half sounds like hell

I feel similarly about being a leech to my family. They will cry about /the idea of/ me and the loss of /the idea of/ our relationship. The person who I was - am, until mid March, hopefully - is not what they truly care about. I know this because they always tried - and still try - to change me. In the long term they will be better off without me dragging them down and wasting their time and energy trying to fix an irreconcilably broken creature.

I have some drugs that will be wasted if I don't use them - may as well try to wring every last bit of dopamine from my withered brain before the last days of my life. I'm gonna party til I die.

If I may ask, what is your method?

This is exactly it! Im irreconcilably broken, but because they love me they'll refuse to acknowledge this and I'll just continue to hurt them. I've decided to go with partial suspension.

 

[forgotten15]

I wish you a peaceful week and hope all goes according to plan. May you find happiness on the other side :) I hope my final week will come soon too.