Last day ill be here ctb tomorrow hoping it works

[Ghostofthepast]

I guess though the night and day tomorrow I'll just be posting my thoughts as they come up I just want to be free

 

[Sulyya]

What is your circumstance, if I can ask

 

[Ghostofthepast]

What is your circumstance, if I can ask

Between loosing the woman I love hav8her tske my children away from me my home my job my erectile disfunction just being unattractive unloved and just a mess I have no future no drive left to do anything nothing I don't have anything left in me

 

[Sulyya]

Between loosing the woman I love hav8her tske my children away from me my home my job my erectile disfunction just being unattractive unloved and just a mess I have no future no drive left to do anything nothing I don't have anything left in me

Why must people be so cruel? I feel for you.

 

[Zegers]

May we find wellness

 

[Tartuffe]

Between loosing the woman I love hav8her tske my children away from me my home my job my erectile disfunction just being unattractive unloved and just a mess I have no future no drive left to do anything nothing I don't have anything left in me

Know the loss feeling myself

 

[hellispink]

Best of luck

 

[starvhmb6]

Between loosing the woman I love hav8her tske my children away from me my home my job my erectile disfunction just being unattractive unloved and just a mess I have no future no drive left to do anything nothing I don't have anything left in me

I hope you can find peace

 

[_smile_]

I'm so sorry to hear I understand the feeling of emptiness; it's detrimental to sustainable living.
May I inquire as to your method?

 

[creke]

I'm sorry everything has been so cruel to you, I really hope you're able to find peace. All love

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I'm so sorry to hear I understand the feeling of emptiness; it's detrimental to sustainable living.
May I inquire as to your method?

just going to hang myself

I hope you can find peace

i do too

Why must people be so cruel? I feel for you.

because im not worth anything
This has been something I have wanted since I was 7 between being raped by different men having people use me abuse me throw me away make fun of me leave me I guess this was going to alway be the outcome in all of this I knew from a young age this was going to be what happens life is too painful I thought over the last year I finally found my happiness I was wrong happiness dosnt exist sadly nothing else can be done for me

 

[FuneralCry]

It really sounds like you've suffered so much, I certainly believe it's true that existing in this world can be hell. I hope that you find freedom from all torment, best wishes.

 

[lukas19]

I guess though the night and day tomorrow I'll just be posting my thoughts as they come up I just want to be free

Ditto, tommorow is D-day for me. SN & AE and valium. Just worried about my cats, will leave lots of dry food and water, hopefully the smell of my corpse will be noticed after a couple of days

 

[Caoine01]

I hope you will see your child soon and that you two are happy together.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I hope you will see your child soon and that you two are happy together.

It's hard when one is dead and she will never let me see the other :(

 

[downndone2]

Ditto, tommorow is D-day for me. SN & AE and valium. Just worried about my cats, will leave lots of dry food and water, hopefully the smell of my corpse will be noticed after a couple of days















Can you send delayed text or email to people alerting them

 

[Ruma]

Goodluck,wishing you a swift and peaceful passing x

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[Ghostofthepast]

I failed and I'm extremely depressed now

 

[Catching_the_bus]

I failed and I'm extremely depressed now

Failure is always a bitter thing... I am so sorry that you are in so much pain. I wish you nothing but peace on whatever road you decide to take! I had a recent failure with SN and have been trying work up the courage to try again.

 

[fell]

I'm so sorry you're in so much pain I hope you may find some comfort and peace soon

 

[ChildrensITV]

Between loosing the woman I love hav8her tske my children away from me my home my job my erectile disfunction just being unattractive unloved and just a mess I have no future no drive left to do anything nothing I don't have anything left in me

Just to clarify: Are you losing her as we speak or is it pretty much a done deal? What lead up to the breakup? Have things been going downhill for a long time? I was in a comparable situation. After many years alone (cuz I am ugly, low self-esteem, old, cringe, low-Test, poor, dumb, loser), I found someone who liked me and put up with me for a while. I was still in a shitty situation but this person was patient and supportive, but I tried to improve my situation (finance, career, confidence, living, etc) so I could move nearer but it kept failing. They started to lose attraction bit by bit. I couldn't buy them what they deserved. At the start, I had performance anxiety which was slowly improving but cuz we were long-distance, every trip was like starting over again. I put them through so much shit cuz I was a genetic failure in so many ways. After 2 years, they saw that I had made no progress despite trying. They had to move on cuz they couldn't wait forever.

My life was complete elephantshit before I met them but with them it made some moments easier. It was someone in my life who chose to be in it. Someone who enjoyed my intimate company, someone who tried so hard to help me through my depression and flaws. But they said: "You're not stable. I can't rely on you. I need someone who I can rely on". All they could rely on me for was love but not for me to express it properly (i think my family expresses love badly), to take the lead all the time, to make lots of money. They HAD to leave and I understand that decision 100%. There were days when I said: "If I lose this person, I'm going to end myself". Well I am there now.

I have no drive to do anything. I've even stopped leaving the house. I couldn't even buy milk today. I wake up and go right back to sleep for as long as I can. Then I lie in bed. Then finally I leave bed (on "good days"). I drink or eat (which I hate myself for, cuz eating is keeping me alive), and am not even productive. Then I go to sleep late. I am not even a person anymore. I am just an entity that lingers around. I can't take much more. How close are you to ctb? I guess you have kids to stick around for? I have parents and a friend but I can't stick around for them. I can't do it anymore.

I wonder if having a taster of someone and then losing them made things harder. I don't know. I just wish I could have been the man that they wanted and needed.

 

[Ghostofthepast]

Just to clarify: Are you losing her as we speak or is it pretty much a done deal? What lead up to the breakup? Have things been going downhill for a long time? I was in a comparable situation. After many years alone (cuz I am ugly, low self-esteem, old, cringe, low-Test, poor, dumb, loser), I found someone who liked me and put up with me for a while. I was still in a shitty situation but this person was patient and supportive, but I tried to improve my situation (finance, career, confidence, living, etc) so I could move nearer but it kept failing. They started to lose attraction bit by bit. I couldn't buy them what they deserved. At the start, I had performance anxiety which was slowly improving but cuz we were long-distance, every trip was like starting over again. I put them through so much shit cuz I was a genetic failure in so many ways. After 2 years, they saw that I had made no progress despite trying. They had to move on cuz they couldn't wait forever.

My life was complete elephantshit before I met them but with them it made some moments easier. It was someone in my life who chose to be in it. Someone who enjoyed my intimate company, someone who tried so hard to help me through my depression and flaws. But they said: "You're not stable. I can't rely on you. I need someone who I can rely on". All they could rely on me for was love but not for me to express it properly (i think my family expresses love badly), to take the lead all the time, to make lots of money. They HAD to leave and I understand that decision 100%. There were days when I said: "If I lose this person, I'm going to end myself". Well I am there now.

I have no drive to do anything. I've even stopped leaving the house. I couldn't even buy milk today. I wake up and go right back to sleep for as long as I can. Then I lie in bed. Then finally I leave bed (on "good days"). I drink or eat (which I hate myself for, cuz eating is keeping me alive), and am not even productive. Then I go to sleep late. I am not even a person anymore. I am just an entity that lingers around. I can't take much more. How close are you to ctb? I guess you have kids to stick around for? I have parents and a friend but I can't stick around for them. I can't do it anymore.

I wonder if having a taster of someone and then losing them made things harder. I don't know. I just wish I could have been the man that they wanted and needed.

It's a long story she would always spy on me didn't like that I looked at porn or talk to account that were NSFW in my home growing up talking about that stuff wasn't good so I lied alot she cheat on me by setting guys lying about fucking co workers that were supposed to be my friend I cheated on her once sexted a old co worker mind you months after she did it to me with a married guy she got pregnant and let me talk to my baby lay on her stomach ect I went to a mental hospital she had a abortion then knowing I couldn't stop her I started digging though her stuff she didn't like everything I uncovered said it was a invasion of ger privacy but had my computer mind you I paid for world tapped my phone was constantly reaching out to everyone I know to see if I was cheating as she was doing it behind my back yes my lying and porn was a problem yes I lied about it yes onlyfans was a problem yes she had a problem with me being friends with some 16 and 17 and had a problem with a long time friend at the point 5 years that I fell in love with she 5 years younger than me I was 19 when I met her she was 14 almost 15 yes we did alot of inappropriate things together she has told me she wanted to do the things more than I was asking she loved it and that I wasn't grooming her it started out as a friendship but she grew on me I forgot I had her nudes saved on my pc hidden I found them one day and was going to delete them she found them had a shit fit mind you as she was sending nudes to guys over the internet over the summer I lost my partly due to my mental health mostly because of the people at the job I was pulling 60hrs a week 5 to 6 days a week got fired because of the drama and I punched a locker instead of a guy's head that she slept with and was supposed to be my friend we went on a 3 month trial to see if we could work on things everything was great we both were working and everything was great she breaks it off I go nuts because I do lover her I did put holes in the wall smashed things ect comes to find out she wanted to fuck the 2 co workers and instead of saying that blamed everything on me moved the guy in the day after she kicked me out we all know something was aleasy going on for that to happen yea I wasn't perfect not my a long shot I hurt her alot but she also did the same and made it out to be like she wasn't doing anything wrong to this day I hate myself I feel like it's my fault that it all happened I want to cut because of it everyday she knew she was my first relationship mind you I'm 26 so I never dated in high-school and got that experience I needed I was bound to fuck shit
Up when I met her she was about to be homeless loose her son i convinced my roommates to let her live with us I helped her get a better job helped with her sons atrocious behavior because he was never raised properly with a good male role model we got a house and everything I busted my ass to give her the world and in the end she walks away with the job we both worked at a factory I got fired she didn't she kept the house I got kicked out shebhad a abortion to not have to raise a kid I loose me first kid and my step son who I was in the process of adopting she gained everything I loosed everything I had left

 

[sickolife]

I failed and I'm extremely depressed now

We are lining up to get out of existence, the sooner the better