Lack of love/support/kindness from other?

[Efilismislife]

Just wondering if social issue contribute to your suicidal thought? How many of you experience lack of kindness from other person that saddened you/contribute to your suicidal thought?
And how many being mistreated? Or being hurt?
Or Lack of understanding? Or Lack of support?
Or Feeling alone?

(This is also for pro life to realize the root of the cause)

As for me, im abused by my family since a child until now and thats what left me feeling hopeless and suicidal.

People around me just bystanders and victim blaming so im hurting alone my whole life.
My parents brought me only to left me suffer and giving death sentence(also cause every life creates death) and i left with no choice

 

[Crazy4u]

I experienced the issues you mentioned and more. I wouldn't elaborate because I don't like to talk about my feelings.

The issues you mentioned contribute to my ctb thoughts but I won't ctb because of them. I want to ctb because I don't have a place in this world. Life was never meant for me and never will.

I am sorry if I come across as insensitive. I am numb and don't feel things anymore.

 

[Callie Arcale]

In my case it's the opposite: relationships and family ties are what's keeping me from committing suicide. I've been blessed with a lot of love, but cursed with a chronic disease. I guess you just can't win…

 

[Efilismislife]

I want to ctb because I don't have a place in this world. Life was never meant for me and never will.

I am sorry if I come across as insensitive. I am numb and don't feel things anymore.

Funny, actually thats what i always say too. From i was a child i feel like this world isnt meant for me or i dont have a place, etc, etc but i still try and try to think positive but eventually i reach my limit. Im sick of lying to myself anymore

and sometimes i feel numb/like a zombie. i hate feeling things and think emotion and feelings not needed and not matter. Its better to feel nothing. Nothingness. Everything is pointless.

Lots of times i prefer being alone instead of getting hurt.

Then i realized i supressed all my feelings due to my experiences.

but sometimes when i watch other people i remember what i used to be and wanted to experience being normal

 

[sad_gurl_thoughts]

A big part of why I'm so suicidal now can be traced to the man who broke my heart and the best friend who abandoned me shortly afterwards. Both were big parts of my mental health support system last year, so losing them abruptly has completely broken me down. They wanted to be there for me when I was suicidal in December, so not sure what changed, but neither was in my life anymore by mid-January. It's been devastating.

Social dynamics have always had a huge impact on my mental health. I have baseline depression and self harm tendencies, but I lost a lot of friends last year and got blacklisted from a number of parties that usually add a lot of joy to my life (and that weren't available in 2020). It was terrible knowing they were happening last year but that I wasn't invited anymore. I felt so isolated and then had to lean more heavily on the partner and friend who just abandoned me...guess I over-extended them both.

Now I'm all alone. Feeling their absence makes it even harder.

I wish I didn't need anyone at all.

 

[Efilismislife]

In my case it's the opposite: relationships and family ties are what's keeping me from committing suicide. I've been blessed with a lot of love, but cursed with a chronic disease. I guess you just can't win…

I have chronic and incurable diseases that tortured me but those are the results of my family abuse.

I think its a good thing if you have a nice supportive family and people around you. if you have difficulty in life at least when you have support from people close to you, you can still hold on.

Well unless if the pain become too unbearable..

 

[Rational man]

I have chronic and incurable diseases that tortured me but those are the results of my family abuse.

I think its a good thing if you have a nice supportive family and people around you. if you have difficulty in life at least when you have support from people close to you, you can still hold on.

Well unless if the pain become too unbearable..

Similar to me. My family were frauds, insincere, dismissive.' NORMAL' behaviour was infact abusive narcissism. I kick myself that i didnt realise this sooner but they were convincing. I.could have loved someone for.more than the few Years I did love. Now im ill and alone. Ive decided to leave this world when the pain becomes intolerable. No medics can help me.

 

[lostangel]

Yes all of those things but the worst part of it all is that there isn't much I can do to change or heal from that. It permanently impacts you and changes your whole mindset.

 

[Efilismislife]

Similar to me. My family were frauds, insincere, dismissive.' NORMAL' behaviour was infact abusive narcissism. I kick myself that i didnt realise this sooner but they were convincing. I.could have loved someone for.more than the few Years I did love. Now im ill and alone. Ive decided to leave this world when the pain becomes intolerable. No medics can help me.

I got gaslighted too and its too late. I grew up brainwashed by them since a child so i didnt know what to do. And ended up being weak due to getting pressured constantly.

 

[CommitSudoku]

I've experienced both, and both can hurt. Getting love/support/kindness can be painful when you feel you don't deserve it, or like it's wasted on you. Or even like it's held over you to force you to stay despite your own reasons to go. It got back to me recently that my dad told a relative, "I can't handle death," I feel so guilty over these words that weren't meant for me. But then I've had so many promise things like they wanted to help or be there and they just left. We can't even have a conversation about why they left, I'm not worth that. I'm not worth even continuing a pointless conversation with. There's no good route whatever way you turn.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I was born to two severely narcissistic parents who destroyed my life beyond repairs on all the fronts! All my life,I was betrayed, neglected,bullied,physically abused and gaslighted to the point that I don't even remember a single month in the past 12-13 years when I wasn't actively suicidal. Other people including their colleagues, family members,hospital authorities,society, and even my used to be friends, took part in that and excerbated the abuse. It is my biggest reason to ctb.
Worst part is that nobody will ever know the truth when I am gone and I will be labelled as something which I never was,just like always!

 

[Efilismislife]

i dont get it. You said youre loved but then you said they left you. Thats not love.
if youre loved you dont feel hurt

I've experienced both, and both can hurt. Getting love/support/kindness can be painful when you feel you don't deserve it, or like it's wasted on you. Or even like it's held over you to force you to stay despite your own reasons to go. It got back to me recently that my dad told a relative, "I can't handle death," I feel so guilty over these words that weren't meant for me. But then I've had so many promise things like they wanted to help or be there and they just left. We can't even have a conversation about why they left, I'm not worth that. I'm not worth even continuing a pointless conversation with. There's no good route whatever way you turn.

 

[CommitSudoku]

i dont get it. You said youre loved but then you said they left you. Thats not love.
if youre loved you dont feel hurt

I never said it was all by the same person, though in one case it was. I admitted my feelings just once, broke my own rule never to use that word even if I meant it, she reciprocated. She still ended up leaving, she had said she never would. It wasn't immediate though that she left. Things can hurt more because of caring/love (I hate using the latter word). Or sometimes people decide to leave because they feel that option is better for the other person, messed up but it's a form of caring in it's own right. Feeling a certain way doesn't guarantee a certain outcome. I still feel the same way towards who I mentioned before even though she's hurt me, but feeling that way doesn't change if she'll be around or want to be an active part of my life. In fact anything she does is out of my control, my feelings aside. It's the same for everyone.

 

[Nolan96]

Not always for lack of trying for those in my personal life, I'll say.

But beyond whatever tiny inner circle of semi-trusted people I can muster up, I've never felt secure for a second in this world.

 

[inanimate]

not that I don't deserve it, set myself up for it. still so hard /painful to live with though. maybe if I had 'someone' things would be different. I hope I'm able to experience good & good things again someday, if I'm lucky enough for any good things to happen

 

[ForeverLonely82]

What hurts the most is when you have that emptiness in your heart and you can literally feel your soul crying for someone to be your friend or a person can show some care of your existence in this toilet earth, yet no one does. In my youth I had many friends and lots of people who were supportive and cared about me...then I graduated and watched one by one disappear for unknown reason. Sure you can use social media to reach out, but most of the time they never respond or show no interest in conversation. these same people clamied they "loved" "supported" me and shown kindness in my darkest hours, yet they are no where to be seen these days. now I dwell in loneliness, live in fear and just here. Some people live, the rest of us just exist.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

I hugged my mum for the first time in months last night, funny thing is just as I had decided to do it and was walking towards her she said "want a hug?", quite strange.