kicked out of therapy

[kunikuzushi]

Getting kicked out of therapy is a different kind of pain. I wanted help to make my life a little less painful. I didn't want to "recover." Apparently that's not reasonable. She said I refused to use any of the skills she taught me. First of all, they're extremely difficult. And I did try multiple times. It's not my fault they don't work or that I can't master them in a few months.

She said I don't have any clear goals I want to work on in therapy. Well yeah because in the past 30+ years I haven't gotten a clear answer to why I'm so mentally fucked, so how am I supposed to think of how to get better? I just wanted a little bit of validation for how much pain I'm in. But no, apparently that's enabling so she can't do that.

She said therapy isn't a place for me to talk about my problems and get support. I have to constantly be making progress. I'm trying. But I guess I wasn't quick enough. It's only been a few months.

I have psychological testing over the next few months, so maybe I can come back after getting official diagnoses. But I just needed to vent about this because I feel completely betrayed. And I despise people who say to go to therapy because it has always caused me more pain. You open up to someone and they just drop you when they realize you're too fucked up.

 

[muu]

get a new therapist. therapy is whatever you want it to be. it can be a space to vent your everyday problems or a place to make progress. you should take it at your own pace. why is she complaining? it's her job! she clearly doesn't like it.

have you tried DBT? for people with cluster B personality disorders (or most personality disorders to be honest) it tends to have a better efficacy than your average run-of-the-mill CBT program or whatever. i recommend you give it a shot. answers come painfully slow.

tl;dr Get A New Therapist. that ones awful!

 

[hurb]

i had bad experience with therapy and personally I think its not worth the amount of effort. the reason i say that is because u have to find a compatible therapist. and no , not just someone pretending to understand u , they have to understand u for it to work.
this sounds like the same conditions of finding a friend , so might as well just look for friend. issue is a friend cant give u prescription.
personally i dont want meds so ye

 

[kunikuzushi]

get a new therapist. therapy is whatever you want it to be. it can be a space to vent your everyday problems or a place to make progress. you should take it at your own pace. why is she complaining? it's her job! she clearly doesn't like it.

have you tried DBT? for people with cluster B personality disorders (or most personality disorders to be honest) it tends to have a better efficacy than your average run-of-the-mill CBT program or whatever. i recommend you give it a shot. answers come painfully slow.

tl;dr Get A New Therapist. that ones awful!

Thank you for your reassurance and suggestions. I go to DBT group every week. I used to go to CBT group also, but I thoroughly hated it. My therapist combines the two along with other modalities.

The sad thing is that I really enjoyed my time with this therapist, so it feels like a sudden betrayal. I thought we were on the same page and that things were going well.

All of my mental health resources are with this team in the same building, and I like it there. And I'm getting testing done. So I can't leave this facility. I don't want to request a new therapist because I've interacted with them all, and I like mine the most.

Thank you again for listening.

i had bad experience with therapy and personally I think its not worth the amount of effort. the reason i say that is because u have to find a compatible therapist. and no , not just someone pretending to understand u , they have to understand u for it to work.
this sounds like the same conditions of finding a friend , so might as well just look for friend. issue is a friend cant give u prescription.
personally i dont want meds so ye

I'm one of the biggest therapy haters. And I agree with everything you said. I don't even know what I'm doing it for. It honestly was just to quiet people in my life because I'm a burden to them and needed to show them I was trying. And to get some relief. But it honestly makes things worse.

 

[doomedbynarrative]

Getting kicked out of therapy is a different kind of pain. I wanted help to make my life a little less painful. I didn't want to "recover." Apparently that's not reasonable. She said I refused to use any of the skills she taught me. First of all, they're extremely difficult. And I did try multiple times. It's not my fault they don't work or that I can't master them in a few months.

She said I don't have any clear goals I want to work on in therapy. Well yeah because in the past 30+ years I haven't gotten a clear answer to why I'm so mentally fucked, so how am I supposed to think of how to get better? I just wanted a little bit of validation for how much pain I'm in. But no, apparently that's enabling so she can't do that.

She said therapy isn't a place for me to talk about my problems and get support. I have to constantly be making progress. I'm trying. But I guess I wasn't quick enough. It's only been a few months.

I have psychological testing over the next few months, so maybe I can come back after getting official diagnoses. But I just needed to vent about this because I feel completely betrayed. And I despise people who say to go to therapy because it has always caused me more pain. You open up to someone and they just drop you when they realize you're too fucked up.

Fuck that therapist. Genuinely she should quit full stop and find another career. Something capitalistic and filled with toxic positivity.

You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and deal with an incompetent and weak therapist like that.

 

[kunikuzushi]

Fuck that therapist. Genuinely she should quit full stop and find another career. Something capitalistic and filled with toxic positivity.

You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and deal with an incompetent and weak therapist like that.

Thank you. It hurts more because I gave therapy a chance even though I hate it. I trusted that I would be able to continue going as long as I tried my best. But no, another reminder that I'm not good enough because I'm not making progress or improving myself. Fuck that.

I told her I'm gonna quit everything after this. And she was like "what good will that do you?" and in my head I was like nothing but that's the point. there's nothing left for me here and I will be done with this life soon.

 

[Kanoh]

You mentioned she's a hybrid CBT therapist, I used to do CBT therapy for my OCD and the general approach my therapist had was the same you described - to make goals, do exercises and progress bit by bit. I think you'd be better with a psychodynamic school therapist where you are free to go with the flow, not necessarily follow a scheme. But that's just my assumption, I'm not a psychiatrist so not giving a diagnosis here.

 

[kunikuzushi]

You mentioned she's a hybrid CBT therapist, I used to do CBT therapy for my OCD and the general approach my therapist had was the same you described - to make goals, do exercises and progress bit by bit. I think you'd be better with a psychodynamic school therapist where you are free to go with the flow, not necessarily follow a scheme. But that's just my assumption, I'm not a psychiatrist so not giving a diagnosis here.

Thank you for your suggestion. Yes I would really love a psychodynamic therapist, but I never found one that takes my insurance. I go to a government facility.

 

[Kanoh]

My therapist also left me cause she was switching towns to work in a hospital. I think yours might have decided to not move forward with your therapy because she honestly lacked workshop to further help you and didn't want to be dishonest. Which is better than to go in circles. Try not to harbor hard feelings although I feel your disappointment, it is distressing if a doctor or therapist abandons you when they often feel like a last option you have.

 

[kunikuzushi]

My therapist also left me cause she was switching towns to work in a hospital. I think yours might have decided to not move forward with your therapy because she honestly lacked workshop to further help you and didn't want to be dishonest. Which is better than to go in circles. Try not to harbor hard feelings although I feel your disappointment, it is distressing if a doctor or therapist abandons you when they often feel like a last option you have.

Thank you, I see what you mean. And I'm sorry you also had to deal with the loss.

I placed very high expectations on her to help me. Even when I knew I didn't have anything left in me to do my part in the therapy process. I was just using it to ease my pain, which is my fault.

 

[Kanoh]

Thank you, I see what you mean. And I'm sorry you also had to deal with the loss.

I placed very high expectations on her to help me. Even when I knew I didn't have anything left in me to do my part in the therapy process. I was just using it to ease my pain, which is my fault.

You can still try another one if you still have the will. If you felt any good outcome out of the previous one I'd recommend you to give it another shot. It wasn't your fault, you didn't resign.

 

[Unlucky777]

She sounds like a word that starts with a C and rhymes with bunt. Can't think of the word but she deserves a nice greeting card tho