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alpris13

alpris13

It's always something!
Mar 18, 2023
18
Anyone else seem to always find themselves coming back here? I've been coming here infrequently for years. Life becomes tolerable for a while, and I think maybe I can make something of it. Inevitably, it all crumbles in an instant and I find myself right back here. I suppose I feel a certain connection to this place. It helps to know your struggles aren't completely alien to everyone else.

It just seems like with the way the world is heading, it no longer matters whether or not I get my life together. I'm an American, and when the economy is this bad, it's hard to feel even a glimmer of hope for a better tomorrow. American life as it is tends to give people a bleak outlook. What is the point of trying to improve your life, if you have to work so much that you don't even get time to live? What difference does it make if i don't have the time or energy for anything aside from my job? It's a never ending, unrewarding and humiliating cycle of labor that doesn't benefit the laborer in the slightest. You can't even complain about these things to the average Joe, they're so jaded to it they'll just tell you to suck it up. So ultimately, I end up asking myself: Why do I even bother?

The greatest desire I've ever had for anything in my life is to simply fall asleep in peace and never regain consciousness. The cycle of life is a hellish nightmare I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies. Nothing ever, ever changes and it doesn't seem like it ever will.

I know I'm rambling here. If you took the time to read this, thank you. I hope you can find some peace in life and not feel the urge to ctb. I hope we can all come out clean on the other side some day.
 
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etoilecupid

etoilecupid

Member
Apr 14, 2024
16
i come back here but i feel so bad coming back here because i know most people i meet on here are gonna die soon alhough i get attached easily
 
F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,960
Yes, I completely relate. I'm just fed up with the constant grind of life too. I'm fortunate in that I'm at least currently able to do a creative job that I would enjoy more than other jobs. Still, it's so precarious- so- that's a constant worry. And, I'm not quick enough at it or business headed enough to make it financially succesful. So, I'm basically working everyday, and even something you enjoy feels a chore when you feel like you have to do it all the time.

The alternative is way worse though. I've done over a decade of wage slavery. I know I hate that more. I just think it all sucks. It's so stupid too. I'm working like crazy to sustain a life I don't even want to live! I spend most mornings feeling so resentful we were born into this slavery and expected to comply and be grateful for it.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Are you able to get any work/ life balance? Do you even have the energy for life stuff after work? That's the other problem I think. We spend our time either working or, recovering from work.
 
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alpris13

alpris13

It's always something!
Mar 18, 2023
18
Yes, I completely relate. I'm just fed up with the constant grind of life too. I'm fortunate in that I'm at least currently able to do a creative job that I would enjoy more than other jobs. Still, it's so precarious- so- that's a constant worry. And, I'm not quick enough at it or business headed enough to make it financially succesful. So, I'm basically working everyday, and even something you enjoy feels a chore when you feel like you have to do it all the time.

The alternative is way worse though. I've done over a decade of wage slavery. I know I hate that more. I just think it all sucks. It's so stupid too. I'm working like crazy to sustain a life I don't even want to live! I spend most mornings feeling so resentful we were born into this slavery and expected to comply and be grateful for it.

I'm so sorry you are struggling. Are you able to get any work/ life balance? Do you even have the energy for life stuff after work? That's the other problem I think. We spend our time either working or, recovering from work.
It's a relief to know someone else shares my frustrations. I can get a work life balance, but not most of the time. I work in retail and my hours fluctuate heavily. Sometimes, I'll work six to eight days straight. Other times, I'll only have a couple days a week. Those weeks are the best by far. It leaves me broke, but I'm not stressed out of my mind and I have time to do things, so I'm content with it.

I'd like to be able to do work in video games as a career, but that's a long way off and I doubt it'd be particularly successful considering the state of the industry right now. Even if it hypothetically was possible, Id probably be working absurd hours for table scrap wages just because of the work culture here. It's nothing short of tragic that we can't have a reasonable middle ground between work and free time.
 
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F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
7,960
It's a relief to know someone else shares my frustrations. I can get a work life balance, but not most of the time. I work in retail and my hours fluctuate heavily. Sometimes, I'll work six to eight days straight. Other times, I'll only have a couple days a week. Those weeks are the best by far. It leaves me broke, but I'm not stressed out of my mind and I have time to do things, so I'm content with it.

I'd like to be able to do work in video games as a career, but that's a long way off and I doubt it'd be particularly successful considering the state of the industry right now. Even if it hypothetically was possible, Id probably be working absurd hours for table scrap wages just because of the work culture here. It's nothing short of tragic that we can't have a reasonable middle ground between work and free time.

I really feel for you. I worked in retail for ten years and hated it. People and companies treat you like shit. I think part of my exhaustion back then was hating it so much! But yeah, life's tough. Even people I know who are relatively ok. Well, they don't seem suicidal at least are struggling. I'm sorry.
 
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