Venting Keep Being Given Contradictory Advice

[ObssessedEirika]

I'm sick and tired of people saying that everything happens for a reason or "that's life." Is doing the same thing again and again just in order to be able to get money and survive how life is supposed to be? Is all of the cruel happenings in the world happening for a reason or just because that's how life is? People keep telling me that I'll get used to it but I just can't accept that this is the life I'm told to keep living for.

Whenever I bring up my desires to ctb, I'll be told to think of others and of how I'll be hurting others. I'll also be told that I can change the world and that I can help people if I keep living. I'll always be told to help others as a reason to keep living but, I'll never be told to help myself. They'll emphasize others and that others have better reasons to ctb than I do. They'll say I have no reason to ctb because I'm living such a perfect life that most people would be envious of.

Ironically, these are the same people who tell me that I shouldn't worry about others and that I should be prioritizing myself. The same people who tell me to not focus on others struggles and troubles. These are the same people who tell me to not make my reason to live be helping others. Another ironic thing they say is that the world is such a cruel place to be in but that I should continue living in it.

I don't get what side they're on, they keep contradicting themselves with every piece of advice they give me. If I were to tell my therapist of what I'm thinking and of how tired I am of life to the point I'll ctb soon, I'll be involuntarily hospitalized and I don't want that. I've already been hospitalized for that reason twice, and both of them made me come out worse than when I went in.

I really don't get why people expect me to keep living when I'm suffering everyday I do. I have to wake up, and repeat the same thing over and over again, regardless of whether I like it or not. I keep seeing such unfair stuff happen and I'm so damn tired of it all. I'm struggling both mentally and physically, why should I prolong my suffering and keep living? I really don't get what they're thinking.

I hope this isn't too illegible since I was just writing down my thoughts.

 

[Argo]

That phrase "everything happens for a reason" has a kind of smuggled word in there, and people often mean "Everything happens for a *good* reason". They just don't seem to phrase it that way, probably because of how absurd and indefensible it sounds. Child sexual abuse happens for a good reason? Living paralyzed happens for a good reason? Crippling loneliness happens for a good reason? No.

They happen for reasons, yes, but they are shit reasons in a shit system, and it only produces something grotesque. We are wired to be miserable, to make others miserable, as a survival strategy because miserable things develop strategies to a) kill/control other things better, and b) thrive in a hellish world because they are adapted to misery through a form of exposure "therapy" while all the victims get ground up in the gears of the machine.

If you were just content and okay with life, the barbarians nearby who weren't, who were thirsty for blood and conquest, would come and eat you alive. That's what won the evolutionary game, and that's what will win the future evolutionary game. Good doesn't win in the end like all the fairy tales we consumed as kids told us would. That was a lie.

 

[AInilam]

I relate to this. I don't think anyone will flat out tell someone to end it all, no matter how dire their circumstance or how desperately they wish to ctb. Usually the response is to give them advice/comfort, most people think they have to throw in their own two cents if it'll help even if it may be trite (even I'm guilty of this.) Your therapist is there to help you better understand yourself and come to the best conclusion possible. There is no one solution to a persons struggles, people are complex and following one generalized, conceptual piece of advice can make a mess out of an already messy situation. My only piece of advice is look at all your options and take from it what you will.

 

[Celerity]

It's the same with how people talk about aging. A lot of people like to reminisce about their childhood, but hey, if it isn't working out for you, kid, just wait until you're in high school. Those will be the best years of your life. If high school sucks too, then it's off to college and/or the job world where you make your own money and call the shots. If adulthood also blows hard and blows often, just wait until you can retire! *Then*, when you have all your money and know what you want from life and your body is broken (with the mind on the way), you can really start to finally enjoy life.

If that doesn't work out either, there's heaven.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find it cruel how suicide isn't accepted as a valid option even know we never consented to this existence in the first place and aren't obligated to continue. I cannot stand those people who are obsessed with prolonging the suffering of others even know other people's personal decisions aren't theirs to make.