Venting Just Venting - My mental disorders make life unbearable.

[dubstep_penguin]

I've been thinking about dying ever since I was 8 years old. I'm 19 now, and every year the urge to do it gets stronger and stronger. I'm ugly. Point blank. Despite this, I have friends and a loving partner. However, I'm still ugly, and this hurts me deeply. I have borderline personality disorder, which has a very high mortality rate. Psychiatrists, doctors, therapists- they all tell me I have "body dysmorphia". I've even been put on antipsychotics. I still feel ugly. I'm trapped by my own mind, and I wish I could see what others saw in me. People have it so much worse than me and I'm still miserable. I can't help it. Anyway, Partial suspension with a pull up bar as an anchor point. Not sure what rope I'm gonna use yet. maybe bed sheets. we'll see. I'll always be a woman. unfortunately. Existence is exhausting!!!

 

[ForestGhost]

The name and pfp are sending me

 

[nintendo64]

I'm sorry. I have bpd too, and it is truly unbearable especially since there's really no real treatment or cure. I also know how it feels to always feel ugly no matter what, it takes a huge toll on your mind. I plan on probably doing partial hanging as well, I wish you luck. Hopefully the suffering will be over soon.