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Apr 10, 2018
Today was a rough for me. Becuase of my anxiety I have to work up emmense courage to go outside. After that grooling process I headed to my destination only to find out they didn't have a ticket for the movie I wanted to see (Also the ticket girl was a judgemental bitch.) What pissed me off was the fact that I had to work up all that courage for nothing. On my way home I nearly got run over by a car. Fucking survival instinct made me jump to the side. Granted the car wasn't going fast enough to kill me but definately give me broken bones.

Then I come home, feed the pupper and let him go to walk about, only for my abusive brother to throw a hissy fit all becuase the dog was going in his precious prayer room. His fucking god apreantly hates dogs. I swear do relegious people hear themselves?

Wanna talk shit about not having peace when literally everyone bends to his will to please him and saying shit like I did it to spite him despite the fact that I had no idea he wanted the dog out of the way. And now I'm going through an anxiety attack becuase of him. Abusive people always love to manipulate and play the victim.

I think it sucks that I have to kill myself to gain peace. If life was fair I'd be the one with a 5 figure income and no worries. But no, the abuser gets to have everything and live and I have to die. Fuck life.

My mom and brother are going vacation in june, I really wanna get a rope so bad so that I might do it then instead of waiting for 30.


Mar 21, 2019
I get anxious going out, a lot of the time, too. It depends on my mood, but sometimes doing the slightest thing makes me really on edge. I don't even like going to get food sometimes, so can relate to the thing about the cinema. Surviving/dealing with the inconvenience of a car accident wouldn't be fun, so I'm glad that didn't happen.

Sorry your brother treats you like that, very uncalled for.