Venting just tested my sn. it is a releave

[razahcareca27]

before I wasn't too worried about purity (was confident it was pure). but the the date came closer and I felt the need to test. if you would, give insights pls. i thought it was really good, although the color was kinda red too much maybe? thanks I'm advance.

June was my date and I postponed it for kind of sedentarism reasons. I didn't feel for missing the chance. now I have another date that suits to my intentions and worries. I am good but I already failed and already gone through about it with myself and some I hurt.

2024 was unbelievable. 2023 was unbelievably good and intense. 2024 was horrible, didn't have a week to be with the most loving, empathic and so many other things.

suicidal thoughts started 14, not too much to worry (maybe?). at 19 it became a serious thing and since then till my 23s it has been depression and some little more.

I hope my girl is in peace or is with me here or we met again after death.


I would like to give a big thank you to you that shall not be named for giving me a fucking experience, euphoric one, lovingly one. was special to spent those days with u. hope youre reading this or is recovering/recovery, love u.


love u my love as well, as nothing more. absence/loss is sad when experiences were beautiful.

π
idk if this is a goodbye thread or not, neither if I will make one.

the days are coming, sometimes gets me afraid, sometimes relax me. beautiful although hurtful.

Spoiler: pics of an aquarium test. not nsfw. 1st

View attachment 1000158876.jpg

Spoiler: 2nd

View attachment 1000158877.jpg

Spoiler: 3rd

1st and 2nd flash enabled. 3rd off.
thanks in advance for insights.

previous aliases on here been thethatsitboy and thethatisitboy. dog pic :D

 

[Arahant]

May you find true peace, wherever you go and whatever you do.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you all the best.

 

[razahcareca27]

regimen:
8 hours fasting, prob 10/12.
2hour water fasting with not much rigor. not extrapolating.
1 hour before drinking sn 1000mg of paracetamol.
45 minutes before drinking SN3 X 10mg Metoclopramide (30mg in total)
30 minutes before drinking SNDouble dose of antacid made by magnesium milk + between 2-6mg alprazolam. maybe less than 5mg of Clonazepam as well. I never slept using any dosages higher than that, neither zolpidem, so I'll be cool. (benzos not crushed, liquid clonazepam
SN drink together with more Clonazepam and probably alprazolam.
I'll be in a hotel, you'll try to be creative about ways to get only authorities to see the scene, hopefully.

(I have zolpidem as well maybe I could crush and take it with SN or to take 30, 15mins before, idk how zolpi works)

And I forgot about propanolol that I arrange it today. i don't remember the timings of it. I can easily search.

thank you guys for this
last meal for sure japanese, pizza, macaroni.
you'll try to do something exciting day before, but just maybe. I don't have that much to excite for. but there are little things fortunately

shout out to Brazilians here, Brazilian community was very good years ago, now its regular. been here since 2020 or 21. sheesh

 

[VeryShy]

I wish you all the best on your journey to Heaven.

 

[razahcareca27]

Can someone explain me something about crushing benzos and Zolpidem? they work as usual but acting faster?

nothing besides this? (if this is correct)

could anyone give an example like how much time till u start feeling it acting in benzos?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

they work as usual but acting faster?

This is the idea behind crushing the meds, they get dissolved and absorbed faster.

could anyone give an example like how much time till u start feeling it acting in benzos?

This is individual, how fast they act. If you (ab-)used Benzos before you might have some tolerance for example.