Just talking I guess :)

[Coconteppi]

Hey y'all I'm a "long time listener first time caller" type. Just recently created my account today. I understand that to be able to PM for SN sources I gotta chit-chat some. I kinda like the idea of possibly running into someone who thinks like myself yk. But anyway I guess ask away and I'll try to keep up. :)

To get the ball rolling I guess I should say something. But feel free to say whatever you'd like. (Please nothing mean)

Currently, the way I think of my view right now is like. Life went pretty stale since childhood (<8yr old~) Theres only really so much to this world at this point. Not that life is horrible. Just real boring with so much work for things that just don't bring sufficient satisfaction / fulfillment. So, I've kinda decided to just check out a bit earlier than most. Not that life was all that horrible. Life was just a bit worse than nothing.

Anyways, I'd love to hear y'alls thoughts on things. :)

(I did not spellcheck any of this. So go easy on me lol)

 

[g0r3kittyz☆*:💭]

Hey! I also made an account pretty recently. Anyways, life also went kinda rotten for me when I was 8 too lol. I got bullied a lot at school, and life at home wasn't the best either. I wouldn't say my life is horrible either, but I have nothing to look forward to everyday. The same thing over and overrr again. And like sometimes I feel bad because I know others have it more worse than me, but what can I say? I can't help not wanting to live in this world. Anyways welcome to site also haha :D

 

[vak]

I feel you. It feels like once you step into adulthood, something's missing - like a sense of wonder or anticipation. Even the fun stuff starts to feel mundane. Right now, I'm working on a hobby project I've been thinking about for a long time, and all I'm getting from it is frustration and annoyance. I can't see a way to bring that spark back into my life if even the things I'm supposed to enjoy aren't keeping me interested. I don't know why I should keep living, nobody was able to explain it to me why this mode of existence is supposed to be worth it.

 

[Coconteppi]

Hey! I also made an account pretty recently. Anyways, life also went kinda rotten for me when I was 8 too lol. I got bullied a lot at school, and life at home wasn't the best either. I wouldn't say my life is horrible either, but I have nothing to look forward to everyday. The same thing over and overrr again. And like sometimes I feel bad because I know others have it more worse than me, but what can I say? I can't help not wanting to live in this world. Anyways welcome to site also haha :'m so sorry to hear that y

Hey! I also made an account pretty recently. Anyways, life also went kinda rotten for me when I was 8 too lol. I got bullied a lot at school, and life at home wasn't the best either. I wouldn't say my life is horrible either, but I have nothing to look forward to everyday. The same thing over and overrr again. And like sometimes I feel bad because I know others have it more worse than me, but what can I say? I can't help not wanting to live in this world. Anyways welcome to site also haha :D

(Idk whats going on I think I'm replyimg twice whoops)

I'm so sorry to hear that you were bullied when you were younger, and that home life was tough. Have you since gotten away from those?

I feel you. It feels like once you step into adulthood, something's missing - like a sense of wonder or anticipation. Even the fun stuff starts to feel mundane. Right now, I'm working on a hobby project I've been thinking about for a long time, and all I'm getting from it is frustration and annoyance. I can't see a way to bring that spark back into my life if even the things I'm supposed to enjoy aren't keeping me interested. I don't know why I should keep living, nobody was able to explain it to me why this mode of existence is supposed to be worth it.

I relate to this a good bit. The wonder is indeed gone. I think that is the biggest part to me right now. It was neat learning about everything this world had to offer. Just, I've kinda finished learning the generals and have come to the conclusion that I am not interested in spending so many possible years here. As to reasons that make it worthwhile. I think it's similar to most things in life. Some things are liked by a lot of people. But this doesn't mean they are like by everyone. And if theres simply nothing that feels worthwhile to you the way it does to others so be it yk?

But you said youve been working on a hobby project? That sounds pretty cool. If you're comfortable do you wanna tell me about it? I'm kinda just chatting here so I'd love to hear what you've been puting together :D

 

[g0r3kittyz☆*:💭]

(Idk whats going on I think I'm replyimg twice whoops)

I'm so sorry to hear that you were bullied when you were younger, and that home life was tough. Have you since gotten away from those?

I relate to this a good bit. The wonder is indeed gone. I think that is the biggest part to me right now. It was neat learning about everything this world had to offer. Just, I've kinda finished learning the generals and have come to the conclusion that I am not interested in spending so many possible years here. As to reasons that make it worthwhile. I think it's similar to most things in life. Some things are liked by a lot of people. But this doesn't mean they are like by everyone. And if theres simply nothing that feels worthwhile to you the way it does to others so be it yk?

But you said youve been working on a hobby project? That sounds pretty cool. If you're comfortable do you wanna tell me about it? I'm kinda just chatting here so I'd love to hear what you've been puting together :D

Hey (sorry I know I'm a bit late in this :/) yeah, I've gotten away from the bullying for the most part, actually everyone I know in real life considers me normal which I guess is nice, but the memories of being kinda just stick with you but not being in that situation anymore is an improvement I suppose

 

[Coconteppi]

Hey (sorry I know I'm a bit late in this :/) yeah, I've gotten away from the bullying for the most part, actually everyone I know in real life considers me normal which I guess is nice, but the memories of being kinda just stick with you but not being in that situation anymore is an improvement I suppose

No worries, there is no obligation here to have to respond. But thank you for responding thats very kind of you. And I'm glad to hear you're not in that situation anymore. Even if the memories might stick with you pretty bad.

On a different note. You mentioned you recently created your account? What lead you to create one?

 

[deadhead12!]

I would love to chat with you! I relate so well to everything you said. It is so hard to wake up ever day and fight the same battle over and over and over- for what? I don't feel like things that make normal people happy bring me pleasure and I don't understand why. I don't see the point of slaving my life away for a company, to go on one week of vacation a year. The cost benefit analysis just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Coconteppi]

Aw thank you for stopping to chat :)
Its cool my words resonated with you. I find the struggle with working is knowing that even if I could go on vacation at any moment I would still look to CTB. Aside from the decreased responsibility nothing would have changed. I don't have anything I would feel I gained true fullfilment / satisfaction doing. My problem isnt so much with the work / reward relationship, as it is with the action / fulfillment relationship. Regardless of how much or little work I've put in.
I'd love to hear more about your struggles with finding pleasure in things most people see pleasure in. :D

 

[IonicLemon69]

Hello, I was also a lurker for a few months & don't participate much in discussion here but every once in awhile I'll comment. I definitely agree with everything everyone in this post wrote about. I definitely feel like we are all in some rat race with little to no reward or satisfaction. I work 14 hour shifts just to be barely able to make rent or do things that bring joy into my life :(.. Makes me upset when I think about doing that the next 40-50 years.

 

[Coconteppi]

Hello, I was also a lurker for a few months & don't participate much in discussion here but every once in awhile I'll comment. I definitely agree with everything everyone in this post wrote about. I definitely feel like we are all in some rat race with little to no reward or satisfaction. I work 14 hour shifts just to be barely able to make rent or do things that bring joy into my life :(.. Makes me upset when I think about doing that the next 40-50 years.

Hi Ionic Its nice of you to join the chat :)
I very much agree. I stuggle a good bit with consistently working on things years on end. I just don't care enough to work so much when I don't even have anything I care to buy. The only purpose the money serves me is to improve / gain possesions. If I see no benefit in improving my current posessions. Then it kinda just feels like I'm working for monetary power, to maintain a substandard life, thats flaws have nothing to do with my monetary ability. That can make work pretty plop dumps yk :/

 

[g0r3kittyz☆*:💭]

No worries, there is no obligation here to have to respond. But thank you for responding thats very kind of you. And I'm glad to hear you're not in that situation anymore. Even if the memories might stick with you pretty bad.

On a different note. You mentioned you recently created your account? What lead you to create one?

I think mostly just loneliness lol and trying to find people like me, I don't really know anyone that struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts, etc and even when a few names come to my mind I don't think we could ever be friends or close. So I made this account to maybe find a few people to talk to. Also I like how forum is pro choice, like they won't try to stop me if I were to CTB, unlike most people. What led you to create your account? If it's alright of me to ask ofc

 

[Coconteppi]

I think mostly just loneliness lol and trying to find people like me, I don't really know anyone that struggles with depression, suicidal thoughts, etc and even when a few names come to my mind I don't think we could ever be friends or close. So I made this account to maybe find a few people to talk to. Also I like how forum is pro choice, like they won't try to stop me if I were to CTB, unlike most people. What led you to create your account? If it's alright of me to ask ofc

I think thats pretty sweet. I also wish suicide was a topic I could talk about with friends in real life without the negative consequences. It sucks to know that even if they were pro choice. The issues surrounding their mourning process and survivors guilt. Could still ruin their mental health. And could really make my choice to CTB far worse for them. Just by having the conversation. I don't like the idea of doing this to others. But I'm not going to keep going for who knows how long, in order to spare them the pain. (Deeply Sorry) :(

It's perfectly fine of you to ask, thank you! :)
I created this account honestly just to find sources for SN. From what I could tell it's gotten harder to source since 2022/2023. And even more so because of the recent MDS (Or whatever the right name was) BBC article. However, I have also become more interested in the N gas method. As it seems to be far easier to source. So really just created my account so I could source the materials to CTB.

(As I am still deciding if I want those I leave behind to read over this. I feel I should say this) (I have easy access to firearms if I fail to find these sources. And have failed once using them but understand the SI better now and know I would not fail again. However, I do care to lessen the impact of my death on others lives/mental by CTB in such a graphic manor. And therefore, would much rather leave a far more tame scene behind for them) (Sorry again y'all if your reading this post CTB) :/

On the note of struggling with metal health / deppression / suicidal thoughts. I think you'd be suprised how common it is. Its just about being able to find them out there. Not to say that it will give you the freedom of conversation pathways available here. But I think its cool to be able to talk to real people in person about the not so great things in life yk. I think it'd also be a lot better in stopping you from CTB if you're not 100% sure. I personally don't really vibe with the very heavy pro-CTB environment of this website. I understand people can be influenced pretty easily and wouldn't want them to be influenced into making such a major decision by sticking around in this environment yk. It's fine is someone wants out but I think they should really have put thought into it seeing that it's irreversable.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this aswell! :D

Sorry for rambling lol.

 

[Done_With_It_All]

That's funny, I did the same thing today. I used to be the go getter type, and kinda still am because I am a go getter of ctb now lol. But anything else is just meh. Even video games. Eventually want to know some SN vendors, but there are many methods that are less painful, so just diversifying haha.

 

[Coconteppi]

That's funny, I did the same thing today. I used to be the go getter type, and kinda still am because I am a go getter of ctb now lol. But anything else is just meh. Even video games. Eventually want to know some SN vendors, but there are many methods that are less painful, so just diversifying haha.

Welcome lol! :D
I agree there are some not so painful methods out there. I'm just looking for something pretty easy to source, simple, and painless. You said there were many other near painless methods out there. Are there any others that you see being easier to source and similarly painless to SN or N?

 

[g0r3kittyz☆*:💭]

I think thats pretty sweet. I also wish suicide was a topic I could talk about with friends in real life without the negative consequences. It sucks to know that even if they were pro choice. The issues surrounding their mourning process and survivors guilt. Could still ruin their mental health. And could really make my choice to CTB far worse for them. Just by having the conversation. I don't like the idea of doing this to others. But I'm not going to keep going for who knows how long, in order to spare them the pain. (Deeply Sorry) :(

It's perfectly fine of you to ask, thank you! :)
I created this account honestly just to find sources for SN. From what I could tell it's gotten harder to source since 2022/2023. And even more so because of the recent MDS (Or whatever the right name was) BBC article. However, I have also become more interested in the N gas method. As it seems to be far easier to source. So really just created my account so I could source the materials to CTB.

(As I am still deciding if I want those I leave behind to read over this. I feel I should say this) (I have easy access to firearms if I fail to find these sources. And have failed once using them but understand the SI better now and know I would not fail again. However, I do care to lessen the impact of my death on others lives/mental by CTB in such a graphic manor. And therefore, would much rather leave a far more tame scene behind for them) (Sorry again y'all if your reading this post CTB) :/

On the note of struggling with metal health / deppression / suicidal thoughts. I think you'd be suprised how common it is. Its just about being able to find them out there. Not to say that it will give you the freedom of conversation pathways available here. But I think its cool to be able to talk to real people in person about the not so great things in life yk. I think it'd also be a lot better in stopping you from CTB if you're not 100% sure. I personally don't really vibe with the very heavy pro-CTB environment of this website. I understand people can be influenced pretty easily and wouldn't want them to be influenced into making such a major decision by sticking around in this environment yk. It's fine is someone wants out but I think they should really have put thought into it seeing that it's irreversable.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this aswell! :D

Sorry for rambling lol.

Wow, I mean it's very nice of you to think of others of what will happen when you CTB. (I kind of do too, but mainly worry about friends and siblings not my parents) Also I did not know that SN was becoming harder to find recently, that really really sucks. I wanted to use that method in the future. Speaking of the future, I don't think I'm ready to CTB yet, at least not now. I think I want to wait a couple of years (although I'm really indecisive and can't make a choice so I might change my mind) I'm not sure why I want to wait. Maybe it's because to experience some things I haven't in life yet, things that are actually good.

Also, you are completely right about people being out there struggling with mental health. But where I currently live and study in it seems that everyone here is "rich" and happy. It's like its own little bubble. I'm sure there are people out there, but I defiantly do think it's harder. My social skills aren't really great either. I don't want to say I can't make friends, but I can never get on a deeper level to them. And the few people I told how I felt about life were people I didn't even know in real life, and I kind of regret telling them. So after that I don't really think I want to get on a deeper level with someone

About the very pro choice nature of this site, I do agree it can be very harmful to those who are can make decisions on an impulse without putting any thought to it. But I mean, I think the pros may outweigh the cons. The people that can make decisions on an impulse can always be warned about this site or sites like these. I think this site gives a lot freedom for people to talk about things that in a lot of countries is a taboo. And even if it's not , it still gives us the freedom to learn about different methods and use the one that's best for us. And I think that's really nice. What do you think? And don't worry about rambling haha I really enjoy reading other peoples opinions and stories :)

 

[Coconteppi]

Wow, I mean it's very nice of you to think of others of what will happen when you CTB. (I kind of do too, but mainly worry about friends and siblings not my parents) Also I did not know that SN was becoming harder to find recently, that really really sucks. I wanted to use that method in the future. Speaking of the future, I don't think I'm ready to CTB yet, at least not now. I think I want to wait a couple of years (although I'm really indecisive and can't make a choice so I might change my mind) I'm not sure why I want to wait. Maybe it's because to experience some things I haven't in life yet, things that are actually good.

Also, you are completely right about people being out there struggling with mental health. But where I currently live and study in it seems that everyone here is "rich" and happy. It's like its own little bubble. I'm sure there are people out there, but I defiantly do think it's harder. My social skills aren't really great either. I don't want to say I can't make friends, but I can never get on a deeper level to them. And the few people I told how I felt about life were people I didn't even know in real life, and I kind of regret telling them. So after that I don't really think I want to get on a deeper level with someone

About the very pro choice nature of this site, I do agree it can be very harmful to those who are can make decisions on an impulse without putting any thought to it. But I mean, I think the pros may outweigh the cons. The people that can make decisions on an impulse can always be warned about this site or sites like these. I think this site gives a lot freedom for people to talk about things that in a lot of countries is a taboo. And even if it's not , it still gives us the freedom to learn about different methods and use the one that's best for us. And I think that's really nice. What do you think? And don't worry about rambling haha I really enjoy reading other peoples opinions and stories :)

I think your choice in wanting to wait is entirely valid. If you don't feel ready to leave, I don't see why you should. Definitely go see if the experience(s) you are looking for are out there somewhere. If you still have hope for those experience(s) I think sticking around is a good idea.

On the note of meeting/talking to people. I'm sorry that does sound isolating. Have you been able to or looked at joining any type of clubs where you could meet new people? Sometimes its nice to listen to other people who may struggle similarly. Although yes, its unlikely you'll be able talk to about CTB in real life. Also, I think reaching a deeper level with othere takes time. To really understand/relate to others and what their going through you have to experience the moments with them or be there when they're really down in the dumps. I hope you're able to find people that you can reach the deeper levels you were talking about without regreting it

Do I think the pros outweigh the cons on SaSu? That's a hard question. I'm not sure sorry. On one hand I think you're right in that it gives people access to far more peaceful CTB methods. While also allowing users to check with other people to make sure they don't mess up and hurt themselves in the process. It also does allow for people to have the conversations that aren't really possible in most other places. But on the other hand. I don't really like the idea of someone being talked into CTB when they wouldn't have otherwise yk? I guess I would say the pros outweigh the cons for those who think for themselves very well. But not so much for those who are suceptible to having their impulses swayed by others. Idrk if that makes sense sorry! CTB is such a complicated subject that really is case by case. As life values/views can differ wildly between any two people. I don't think I / anyone is in the position to tell someone else what to do with thier life yk. I think that should be done through ones own philosophies. With the more thought/time spent in these philosophies the better.
I'd love to hear your thoughts! What level of autonomy do you think one should posses here?

Thank you for being so considerate of my rambling! I'm also enjoying hearing about your views surrounding life and the effects of them! Feel free to type your heart out lol! :)

 

[g0r3kittyz☆*:💭]

I think your choice in wanting to wait is entirely valid. If you don't feel ready to leave, I don't see why you should. Definitely go see if the experience(s) you are looking for are out there somewhere. If you still have hope for those experience(s) I think sticking around is a good idea.

On the note of meeting/talking to people. I'm sorry that does sound isolating. Have you been able to or looked at joining any type of clubs where you could meet new people? Sometimes its nice to listen to other people who may struggle similarly. Although yes, its unlikely you'll be able talk to about CTB in real life. Also, I think reaching a deeper level with othere takes time. To really understand/relate to others and what their going through you have to experience the moments with them or be there when they're really down in the dumps. I hope you're able to find people that you can reach the deeper levels you were talking about without regreting it

Do I think the pros outweigh the cons on SaSu? That's a hard question. I'm not sure sorry. On one hand I think you're right in that it gives people access to far more peaceful CTB methods. While also allowing users to check with other people to make sure they don't mess up and hurt themselves in the process. It also does allow for people to have the conversations that aren't really possible in most other places. But on the other hand. I don't really like the idea of someone being talked into CTB when they wouldn't have otherwise yk? I guess I would say the pros outweigh the cons for those who think for themselves very well. But not so much for those who are suceptible to having their impulses swayed by others. Idrk if that makes sense sorry! CTB is such a complicated subject that really is case by case. As life values/views can differ wildly between any two people. I don't think I / anyone is in the position to tell someone else what to do with thier life yk. I think that should be done through ones own philosophies. With the more thought/time spent in these philosophies the better.
I'd love to hear your thoughts! What level of autonomy do you think one should posses here?

Thank you for being so considerate of my rambling! I'm also enjoying hearing about your views surrounding life and the effects of them! Feel free to type your heart out lol! :)

I mean, I've tried joining some clubs before, and yes I do meet friends. But the same thing happens, it's more of like an acquaintance than an actually friend. But, maybe I'm looking too much into it and you are right, it does take time to connect with someone on a deeper level. So, I will give it some time and maybe one day I can tell someone how I feel.


Also, I completely agree with you and it makes totally sense! For me personally the pros outweigh the cons, but that's because I can think for myself. It's really complicated though for what should be done about those who can be easily persuaded. Or maybe there is an easy solution, but I just don't see it . I'd love to hear your thoughts on what they can do to prevent such people coming across this site or sites like these.

And, just like you said, I believe everyone should make a choice based on their own thinking, and someone else shouldn't be able to dictate their life. I'm not sure yet what my own philosophy is yet, it's kind of complicated for me I don't know…
there are many different philosophies I agree with however I need to do more research on the subject. I do however know for sure know that everyone should be in charge of their own bodies and what do to with them. What do you think?

 

[Coconteppi]

Best of luck in finding someone who you can connect with to the extent that you desire! Don't be afraid to be yourself around them. Going through the highest highs and lowest lows is what I think builds the deepest bonds with other people. I believe in you :)

Regarding prevention of those who I think should stay away from SS. I believe that because each person inherently so complex. Each with their own values/beliefs in life. There is no way I can confidently deem if someone's desire to CTB is sufficiently justified yk. For all I know, everyone or no one here could have justification to CTB that I deem valid enough. To tell someone that their reasoning to CTB isn't personally valid to me. I feel it would be too inntrusive/dictating of me to say that they aren't allowes to CTB. For all I know, the person who might sound like they are doing it for the worst reasons. Could have reasons that are more thought out and valid to them than my own reasons are to me. Idk if this makes sense. Basically; people are to complex and are a result of far to many life experiences for me to step in and decide anything regarding their desire to live/die.

I relate it to the way that one could their life for what I see as the least valueable and mist wasteful way to spend their life. But its their life and if they find fulfilment through living it in a way I don't understand. That is completely fine. To each their own. Who am I to say how someone else must live their lives.

And I agree, I think everyone should be in charge of their own lives/bodies. No one is guaranteed another chance in life. For all we know we only have the one. In a perfect world, everyone would be able to seek their true desires in life and live them out to the fullest. Without being infringed/stopped by others for the way they chose to do it.

I love to see that you're interested in learning about your own philosophy and values in life. It has always been an interesting concept to me. How would you describe your philosophical views as of now? You don't need to know any proper definitions/types. I would simoly just loce to hear what you believe life is all about yk. What is the point in your opinion? :)