Just talk to someone bro! You're not alone!

[Oblivion Access]

And whenever I do, even on the off-chance they have the tools to respond well, I feel like a burden, that I shouldn't have bothered. Crikey folks, what now?!

 

[Julgran]

And whenever I do, even on the off-chance they have the tools to respond well, I feel like a burden, that I shouldn't have bothered. Crikey folks, what now?!

What's ironic is that with "talk to someone", they don't mean "talk to me" - just talk to someone else..

There's some truth in "finding your inner strength", because trying to rely on other people usually doesn't lead anywhere.

Of course, when you open up to other people, you present them with your own burdens, which may be a too heavy of a load for them to be able to carry, which is understandable, since it's too much for yourself to carry. If it would feel better for you, you could end your conversation with "Thank you for listening! It means much to me" and end it there. That way, they may feel like they helped you, even though they just listened to you.

 

[FuneralCry]

No amount of talking would ever help me personally. I always see it as best to stay quiet. The way I see it, talking does not fix problems or change anything.

 

[proxy]

I don't like to talk to anyone directly, but I started to write what I think and that helped me

 

[come to dust]

I don't understand how you're meant to "talk to someone" in a society where people constantly complain about how "mentally draining" being around depressed/suicidal people is.

 

[...]

what do u do when the one person who gets u and u want to talk to, doesn't want to talk back and ignores u?

 

[simulatingpenfart]

I feel like outside of a psychotherapist, most people don't actually want to deal with your stuff, with the exception being if they experienced something similar. People who say "just talk to someone", are probably are thinking you have just had some small inconvenience that lead to a bad day. Talking to someone has merit the same way a band-aid does, it's not meant for the bigger problems.

Too bad for most people talking to a therapist can present itself with economic, social, and geographic hurdles. And even if a therapist is found, if you show signs of suicide idealization then you get locked up.

 

[uienringptr]

For real, when you finally talk to someone they pass you around and if you do it too much you're attention seeking and a burden. It's like there's some weird societal rulebook to talking about negative feelings and we all got different editions.

 

[demuic]

I don't understand how you're meant to "talk to someone" in a society where people constantly complain about how "mentally draining" being around depressed/suicidal people is.

You're not. (Unless that someone is a therapist/"trained professional.")

It's just a way to dismiss people and "politely" say they don't want to hear about your problems and wash their hands of the "burden" of having to listen to someone else. They think it's mentally draining being around depressed/suicidal people? Try fucking being one...

 

[LastFlowers]

it's mentally draining being around depressed/suicidal people? Try fucking being one...

The blatantly wide disparity between the two distinctive positions is something that those merely adjacent to suffering seem to be purposely obtuse towards.
It almost feels as if they are appropriating our pain and stitching it into their own victimhood..it's unbelievable.

 

[Musketeer]

Unfortunately all of the people I could talk to end up hurting me in the end, and a psychologist who can use force is not an option. So i don't even bother i just lie, say I'm OK, wait for the timing, then i can be free from this hell.

 

[LastFlowers]

If it would feel better for you, you could end your conversation with "Thank you for listening! It means much to me" and end it there. That way, they may feel like they helped you, even though they just listened to you.

That's a false sense of gratitude that I wish never to bestow on those who already believe they deserve praise for being a "do-nothing do-gooder".
Unless they actually contributed something meaningful to the conversation (in the event that they are incapable of doing more) or offered up genuine support during their listening that wasn't akin to the silence of a brick wall, then I do not want to risk reinforcement of utterly lazy and unhelpful measures.

The oddest thing is.. I have found that those who suffer the most are often the first to actively listen to another person's woes, despite crumbling and hanging on by a thread themselves.
In every reasonable way, this is a type of compassionate endurance that should not exist in those who suffer so severely, where exhaustion and fatigue are ever-present, and yet even if they don't share the exact predicament, their sense of empathy succeeds in reaching out beyond their own demise, sometimes in their last moments they still make room for the plights of others. It's astonishing.

Meanwhile-just as often-those who are the best off in life would rather cover their eyes and ears and scream "Get that negativity away from me!" and the condescending "Wow must be awful to lead such a cynical and miserable existence! Ha!", they cannot last without showing an incredible amount of hostility, pettiness or apathy (despite said apathy being a trait more understandable when existing within the confines of suffering-not pleasure or contentment).
They say that those with 'more' find it easier to be generous, if only that were true in all cases..

 

[watchingthewheels]

When I was going through hell, I was told to "talk to somebody/you can talk to me". So I did. And I found out that what I was really doing was "blarping", and alienated those people. (To be fair, my situation was pretty heavy, I didn't realize what I was doing to people in the process.) So, now I don't talk to somebody.

Urban Dictionary: blarping

Blarping occurs when someone discloses a lot of personal information without consideration to the interest or comfort of the person listening. Typically it is emotionally uncomfortable or even traumatic content which can overwhelm the person they are blarping at. It is a way of unconsciously...

www.urbandictionary.com

 

[LastFlowers]

When I was going through hell, I was told to "talk to somebody/you can talk to me". So I did. And I found out that what I was really doing was "blarping", and alienated those people. So, now I don't talk to somebody.

Urban Dictionary: blarping

Blarping occurs when someone discloses a lot of personal information without consideration to the interest or comfort of the person listening. Typically it is emotionally uncomfortable or even traumatic content which can overwhelm the person they are blarping at. It is a way of unconsciously...

www.urbandictionary.com

..they have a word for everything now, don't they? Blarping? Unreal..

Something like this should only be understandable when the person being "blarped at" (shoot me) is in a less fortunate and poorer condition than the person doing the "blarping" (ugh..), "know your audience" and all that jazz, and perhaps don't unload an entire life-story to a stranger, but we should absolutely be allowed to vent rather than internalize to the point of imploding and then having people screech at us "Why didn't you reach out!? Why didn't you say something!?", damned if we do, damned if we don't.

 

[watchingthewheels]

The oddest thing is.. I have found that those who suffer the most are often the first to actively listen to another person's woes, despite crumbling and hanging on by a thread themselves.

 

[Julgran]

That's a false sense of gratitude that I wish never to bestow on those who already believe they deserve praise for being a "do-nothing do-gooder".
Unless they actually contributed something meaningful to the conversation (in the event that they are incapable of doing more) or offered up genuine support during their listening that wasn't akin to the silence of a brick wall, then I do not want to risk reinforcement of utterly lazy and unhelpful measures.

The oddest thing is.. I have found that those who suffer the most are often the first to actively listen to another person's woes, despite crumbling and hanging on by a thread themselves.
In every reasonable way, this is a type of compassionate endurance that should not exist in those who suffer so severely, where exhaustion and fatigue are ever-present, and yet even if they don't share the exact predicament, their sense of empathy succeeds in reaching out beyond their own demise, sometimes in their last moments they still make room for the plights of others. It's astonishing.

Meanwhile-just as often-those who are the best off in life would rather cover their eyes and ears and scream "Get that negativity away from me!" and the condescending "Wow must be awful to lead such a cynical and miserable existence! Ha!", they cannot last without showing an incredible amount of hostility, pettiness or apathy (despite said apathy being a trait more understandable when existing within the confines of suffering-not pleasure or contentment).
They say that those with 'more' find it easier to be generous, if only that were true in all cases..

My point was only that a sentence like "Thank you for listening! It means much to me" could make yourself not feel guilty for involving other people - rather than making other people feel good about listening to you.

 

[som1]

Speaking about my problems only made things worse. I wish I kept my mouth shut. If only I kept what I'm dealing with inside then things would have been so much better. That's why I no longer speak and isolate myself.