Venting just please kill me

[hao☆]

hi



i've felt so horrible in the past few weeks, being socially ostracized, never taking my side.

cut to a few months back, i started hanging out with a person i really liked, i tried to get closer to them more than once or thrice, but eventually failed in every attempt doing so. I thought, "maybe i should just stop, i barely even know them."

only a few weeks back do i find out they told everyone i knew i was a depraved stalker.
the first person they tell that to?
the only friend i have - and this guy kept it as a secret until only recently that he told other people about my filthy obsession.

people can't even look at me the same anymore.
I'll never forgive him for doing that, but I live in an environment where "sorry" is where it all ends, where if you try to even expand how you felt even if they said "sorry" you're an asshole.
never speak of me again when im dead please
i want everyone i know to forget me when im dead
i wanted to cleanse myself but i couldnt
kill me in every way, physically and in memory, just please kill me

 

[sadbh—itstimetogo🤎]

Fuck them, make new friends. Problem solved

 

[pepperfarmer]

I'm very sorry that happened to you, that sounds horrible.

Some people can be extremely sadistic and cruel. Certain social settings and environments are built to tolerate or even encourage that behavior, and so they're never held accountable for their cruelty, or even rewarded for it.

Don't blame yourself for what happened. Some people and some spaces are just like that and there's nothing you can really do about it. The best thing you can do is try your luck someplace else. If you live in a small town, you could possibly look into moving someplace else.