Just ordered my SN

[HeartThatFeeds]

Just ordered my SN from DMC and the payment is sure to go through in about 10 minutes, honestly I feel nothing. I had felt excited to finally die up until now but now I just feel empty, I'm not sure what I'll even tell my parents what I bought when it arrives, just some stupid lie so they won't worry.

I don't even feel suicidal right now, I did about half an hour ago but now I just feel sad. My partner passed away two months ago and day after day I just learn more things about him that he kept from me, it make me feel disgusted within myself and everything just hurts much more, at first I just wanted to be with him again, or if the afterlife doesn't exist at least feel peace but now I just hope to be gone from existence entirely, the worst thing for me right now would be an afterlife.

I'm tired of everyone, I feel constantly let down and unlovable, I don't think I could ever be happy again even if I tried. The thing that hurts the most is I still love him despite everything, I'm still grieving him like I did before. I understand why he felt that way he felt but it still hurts to hear the truth.

I'm just glad this will be over soon.

 

[JustSomeWeirdo]

Just ordered my SN from DMC and the payment is sure to go through in about 10 minutes, honestly I feel nothing. I had felt excited to finally die up until now but now I just feel empty, I'm not sure what I'll even tell my parents what I bought when it arrives, just some stupid lie so they won't worry.

I don't even feel suicidal right now, I did about half an hour ago but now I just feel sad. My partner passed away two months ago and day after day I just learn more things about him that he kept from me, it make me feel disgusted within myself and everything just hurts much more, at first I just wanted to be with him again, or if the afterlife doesn't exist at least feel peace but now I just hope to be gone from existence entirely, the worst thing for me right now would be an afterlife.

I'm tired of everyone, I feel constantly let down and unlovable, I don't think I could ever be happy again even if I tried. The thing that hurts the most is I still love him despite everything, I'm still grieving him like I did before. I understand why he felt that way he felt but it still hurts to hear the truth.

I'm just glad this will be over soon.

Ay. Glad to see you finally find your peace at last. While I'm here getting framed.