Just had police and “mental health professionals” at my place.

[It’s Time To Go]

I'm so fucking confused.

My anxiety peaked earlier, and I called the non emergency NHS number.

Police arrived at first.

Then the so called "professionals."

I always ask the same question: "Do you think I'm unwell?" Was told I don't think you're mentally unwell, but you have psychological issues.

Yet just a short while ago, the CLINICAL DIRECTOR (the absolute top of the tree) said that I'm delusional, very unwell, tried to get me on a Section 3 and also tried to get me on a depo (injection.)

I'm so fucking confused, I don't know if I'm coming or going?

I have a diagnoses of EUPD/BPD & OCD.

Am I "sick"? Or am I "normal"?

Been sectioned 25 times is 4 years, MASSIVE overdoses (have died) rooftops, the Clifton Suspension Bridge, cutting of wrists, self harming on the wards, plus much more.

Is that "unwell"?

I'm so confused, I'd really appreciate your opinions/advice/aspects.

I am planning on jumping next week, by the way.

If I succeed, and exit, will that make me "unwell"?

This so called "system" is so conflicting that it's no wonder I'm confused.

Please help me, as these cunts aren't.

I love you all x.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad way. It sounds as if you'd like some help.

Did the mental health team offer you anything at all?

 

[FuneralCry]

In my opinion, I believe that wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world as horrible as this. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it sounds like you have been through a lot, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I'm sorry you're in such a bad way. It sounds as if you'd like some help.

Did the mental health team offer you anything at all?

They just said that a meeting is being held on Monday, and that's about it.

One of them just wanted to go: "Are we finished?"

I don't trust any of these cunts.

I no longer expect, or want their "help." Apart from being beyond help, I've been failed so many times that I no longer want it.

I am FURIOUS.

I think I am definitely going to jump on Tuesday, now. Classic, classic EUPD/BPD language but … I'll show them.

In my opinion, I believe that wanting suicide can be perfectly rational in a world as horrible as this. I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, it sounds like you have been through a lot, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Question for you: Rooftops, travelling three hours to one of the tallest bridges in the UK, cutting of wrists, MASSIVE overdoses (have died, but have been brought back) would you say I'm unwell?

Or as this "professional" put it, "you are not mentally unwell, but you have psychological issues"?

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm coming or going.

 

[rationaltake]

They just said that a meeting is being held on Monday, and that's about it.

One of them just wanted to go: "Are we finished?"

I don't trust any of these cunts.

I no longer expect, or want their "help." Apart from being beyond help, I've been failed so many times that I no longer want it.

I am FURIOUS.

I think I am definitely going to jump on Tuesday, now. Classic, classic EUPD/BPD language but … I'll show them.

Question for you: Rooftops, travelling three hours to one of the tallest bridges in the UK, cutting of wrists, MASSIVE overdoses (have died, but have been brought back) would you say I'm unwell?

Or as this "professional" put it, "you are not mentally unwell, but you have psychological issues"?

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I know how mental health workers can be.

Do you have anyone to talk to?

 

[FuneralCry]

Question for you: Rooftops, travelling three hours to one of the tallest bridges in the UK, cutting of wrists, MASSIVE overdoses (have died, but have been brought back) would you say I'm unwell?

Or as this "professional" put it, "you are not mentally unwell, but you have psychological issues"?

I'm so confused, I don't know if I'm coming or going.

I think that wanting to die so badly does not necessarily mean that you are unwell, life itself is full of pain and suffering and in my case wanting to escape from it makes sense. Many people can simply come to the conclusion that their life is not worth living and it does not mean there is anything wrong with them, it is more of a problem with life itself. It does sound so horrible what you have been through. I hope there is a way for you to find some relief from your pain.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I know how mental health workers can be.

Do you have anyone to talk to?

Just spoke with Papyrus (UK.)

They were of no help.

To be honest, I think I've been failed for so long that my mind has deteriorated to the point where there is no longer any help available.

At least, I don't even want any help any longer.

They are all corrupt, and I'm too switched on to play their games, or fit into their pigeon holes.

I have a personality disorder, comorbid with an anxiety disorder. I am extremely shroud, but at the same time, am completely unable to control my emotions. The slightest sign of a stressful event, and I crumble. Yet I can manipulate almost anyone, to get what I want or need.

It's so complex and confusing, it's making me feel sick on a daily basis, and I can't take it anymore.

Hence me seriously contemplating taking the extreme measure I am thinking of next week.

I think that wanting to die so badly does not necessarily mean that you are unwell, life itself is full of pain and suffering and in my case wanting to escape from it makes sense. Many people can simply come to the conclusion that their life is not worth living and it does not mean there is anything wrong with them, it is more of a problem with life itself. It does sound so horrible what you have been through. I hope there is a way for you to find some relief from your pain.

So you think someone wanting to (or feeling like they have no other option to) end this life is a rational thought?

Logically, I believe you are either weak or "unwell" to continue in this life, if you have had enough.

Yet, to the average person, we are seen as "unwell."

It's such a fine line, in theory, however, once the act has been completed, the conclusion always falls on the side of the person being mentally unwell.

Do you get me, or not agree?

 

[GreenTree]

Can you jump from clifton suspension bridge. I thought they had barriers. I live near Bristol.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Can you jump from clifton suspension bridge. I thought they had barriers. I live near Bristol.

You can just mantle over it.

Look on YouTube, you can see base jumpers just fly over it.

 

[FuneralCry]

So you think someone wanting to (or feeling like they have no other option to) end this life is a rational thought?

Logically, I believe you are either weak or "unwell" to continue in this life, if you have had enough.

Yet, to the average person, we are seen as "unwell."

It's such a fine line, in theory, however, once the act has been completed, the conclusion always falls on the side of the person being mentally unwell.

Do you get me, or not agree?

I do understand what you are saying, but suicide really is so difficult. Just because someone continues this life when they have had enough does not always mean they are weak. We have a powerful survival instinct and we are denied a peaceful ways to exit. I do see myself as being quite weak though. Methods like jumping and hanging sound horrifying.
I think that many non suicidal people always see those who are suicidal as being irrational, they live under a delusion that life is always worth living. They do not want to accept the fact that suicide can be a rational act for many people.

 

[symphony]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry. That's an awful situation to be in and I imagine it must have been pretty scary. I'm glad you're alright at least for the time being. The terrible reality is that so many people, in trying to help, only make things worse...

 

[It’s Time To Go]

I do understand what you are saying, but suicide really is so difficult. Just because someone continues this life when they have had enough does not always mean they are weak. We have a powerful survival instinct and we are denied a peaceful ways to exit. I do see myself as being quite weak though. Methods like jumping and hanging sound horrifying.
I think that many non suicidal people always see those who are suicidal as being irrational, they live under a delusion that life is always worth living. They do not want to accept the fact that suicide can be a rational act for many people.

I have just spoken with two suicide prevention lines.

They really didn't care.

Obviously, the EUPD in me wanted a response, which I never got.

Do people really not care?

I have to admit, this has really upset me. It further reinforces that human beings can be so cold and uncaring.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have just spoken with two suicide prevention lines.

They really didn't care.

Obviously, the EUPD in me wanted a response, which I never got.

Do people really not care?

I have to admit, this has really upset me. It further reinforces that human beings can be so cold and uncaring.

I think that most people only care about what directly affects themselves, people can be very selfish. It is just the way that people are, they let us down and disappoint us. It must have been so frustrating having that experience, I'm sorry that you went through this.

 

[symphony]

I have just spoken with two suicide prevention lines.

They really didn't care.

Obviously, the EUPD in me wanted a response, which I never got.

Do people really not care?

I have to admit, this has really upset me. It further reinforces that human beings can be so cold and uncaring.

This may be a controversial take, but I think most people do care, they just don't know how best to help, don't have the resources or ability to truly help, are misguided in how to help, etc. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience with the hotlines.

 

[Sunset Limited]

So you think someone wanting to (or feeling like they have no other option to) end this life is a rational thought?

Logically, I believe you are either weak or "unwell" to continue in this life, if you have had enough.

Yet, to the average person, we are seen as "unwell."

It's such a fine line, in theory, however, once the act has been completed, the conclusion always falls on the side of the person being mentally unwell.

Do you get me, or not agree?

First of all, I'm sorry this happened to you. The rationality of the suicide phenomenon cannot be evaluated on its own. Besides, I'm not sure it should be rational. Man is not a species that makes rational decisions all his life and lives accordingly. On the contrary, most of our decisions are impulsive and emotional. So why expect one to be rational about continuing to live?

 

[noaccount]

Hi Time - I just want to say, no human being on earth has ever 'brought on themselves' the awful shit cops and the system do. So I can free myself from worrying "am I an innocent victim of this shit, or am I so fucked up I deserve this shit?" - Because no one has ever deserved this shit. Innocence is not a requirement, health is not a requirement, liberation is for everyone. It's horrific that the clinical director tried to pull that on you. Maybe you feel some ways about things that most people don't - to call it an 'illness' is really metaphorical, and subjective, and you can decide whether that's useful for you or not.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I am very sorry that this happened and that you were invalided and shrugged off by these people who are being paid to help you. In this case, they are not even providing you with any assistance, just barging into your residence without permission and souring your peace of mind in an already vunerable/volatile state.

This happened to me as well, and I felt way more suicidal after being forced to deal with the paramedics and police who wanted to push my boundaries, kept insinuating that I was depressed and needed to speak to a GP and get on a wait list for counseling, when I flat out told them I am not depressed and that is not the reason why I am suicidal. They ignored me.

You are crying out for help and these people are failing you, not once do they ask you what you need, or how you feel, they just want to throw out labels like psychological dysfunction and hand you off to another team. It is shameful, and I am so sorry this is happening.

I understand that being put through this cold, beurocratic system where your concerns are ignored or misinterpreted is exhausting, and wears away at your resolve. I hope that someone (preferably outside of the circle of those who are harming you in this moment) will listen to you, and actively seek to understand you rather than paper push and waffle, speak in tautologies, and ignore your pain in a desperate time of need.

 

[FinalPeace]

Yet just a short while ago, the CLINICAL DIRECTOR ... tried to get me on a depo (injection.)

Theres a lot going on here but this really sticks out. Are you saying they were trying to give you a shot with birth control in it?? Im hoping I am misinterpreting this. If that's the case do you really believe that's what was truly in the injection? This is very odd...WTF? unless I just misunderstood.

 

[It’s Time To Go]

Theres a lot going on here but this really sticks out. Are you saying they were trying to give you a shot with birth control in it?? Im hoping I am misinterpreting this. If that's the case do you really believe that's what was truly in the injection? This is very odd...WTF? unless I just misunderstood.

No, a depo is another way of administering medication, rather than taking a tablet.