Venting Just got out of the hospital

[Moonchildx13]

First time poster here.

My SO had me admitted into the psychward for 3 weeks because he snooped through my phone found this form and also found my supplies, which he threw away. I'm so angry. First because he broke my privacy and secondly because he had me locked up.

They take away all of your rights. What ever happened to body autonomy?

Anyway, I just needed to vent with understanding people.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you had to go through that experience, it sounds awful being trapped in a psych ward against your wishes. It seems as though some people do not respect the right to die. I wish you the best.

 

[Wrennie]

First time poster here.

My SO had me admitted into the psychward for 3 weeks because he snooped through my phone found this form and also found my supplies, which he threw away. I'm so angry. First because he broke my privacy and secondly because he had me locked up.

They take away all of your rights. What ever happened to body autonomy?

Anyway, I just needed to vent with understanding people.

Invasion of privacy is a disgusting betrayal of trust and I don't blame you for harboring any feelings of resentment as a result. The fact that you had to suffer as a direct consequence of your SO's disingenuous behavior & snooping is utterly reprehensible.

Bodily autonomy is a ruse. The moment we are thrust into this world we are completely at its mercy. Some are lucky enough to have people to advocate for them, and even luckier to be listened to & accommodated for (yet even then such luxuries can prove unsustainable in the long-term). The rest of us are forcibly silenced and subdued.

 

[MusashiX]

If my wife went through my phone without my persmission i would divorce her ass. You should have had your phone locked behind a password. No offense, im just saying that simple measure could have prevented all this. If your SO doesnt respect your privacy and goes through your private stuff then leave your SO. That person doesnt respect you. If you decide to stay with this person then lay down the law to them and set some boundaries and for god's sake keep your phone locked with a password.

 

[LeapOfFaith]

I have not told my significant other about my plans either. It's a dilemma. I know that she loves me more than anything. I hate that my CTB will hurt her. It's one of the things that is still keeping me here for the time being. I am sure that she would not approve of my decision either and if she knew about my plans she would have done the same as your significant other did to you.

I have accepted that no one in my surrounding understands suicide and why some people goes through with it. I am not sure if someone who haven't been through such a state of mind is capable to comprehend the nature of the situation. A non-suicidal person is trained by modern society to "help" people with depression and suicidal thoughts by "rescuing" us by preventing suicide. So in a way it's an act of out of love.

And I can't say that I am against it in a way, because if a person can be persuaded to keep on living my opinion is that he/she wasn't ready to go through with it anyway. And I think that lots of suicidal people want to be saved to feel a sense of love. I know I felt like that 10 years ago.

However some suicidal persons cross a line where there is no turning back. I know that I spoke more openly about suicide and depression when I were younger with my family and friends, they all knew about it and at that time I wanted to be rescued. I wanted someone to care about me.

And now when I am more serious with going through with it. I am not talking as openly about it because I do not want anyone to try to persuade me to keep living since it's already to late for me. I do not want anyone to feel like "they tried to save me but failed".

Since you apparently did not tell your SO I assume you were serious with going through with it when the time was right. One of the reasons why I do not speak about it openly is also If I decide not to go through with it I do not wanna damage my relationship by her worrying about my well-being. I wanna do it in my pace and without people knowing and expecting stuff to happen.

Yeah apparently it's the modern society that decides when and when not to own your own body. It's hypocrisy...

I understand your frustration, send a pm if you wanna talk

 

[Moonchildx13]

I just want to thank you all for your support. It's not there first time I've been in a psychward, but it always feels so humiliating.

I didn't tell my SO my plans because honestly I didn't want him to stop me or anyone to stop me. I wanted to have the SN on hand for when the time was right. It's just so hard to feel like this and have zero understanding. I wouldn't wish feeling this way on my worst enemy.

I have since put a new passcode on my phone.

 

[angiegirl30]

I just want to thank you all for your support. It's not there first time I've been in a psychward, but it always feels so humiliating.

I didn't tell my SO my plans because honestly I didn't want him to stop me or anyone to stop me. I wanted to have the SN on hand for when the time was right. It's just so hard to feel like this and have zero understanding. I wouldn't wish feeling this way on my worst enemy.

I have since put a new passcode on my phone.

Okay I know everyone is going to hate my opinion on this but here goes. Your SO obviously cares about you. They do not want you to hurt yourself or suffer. That's why they did what they did. As far as looking at your phone, well, I don't really have any answers for that except to put a passcode on it if you don't want them looking at something. But your SO is not being mean or an ass. They just care. And that's part of having humanity and compassion. Which this entire f-ing world needs more of.