just got back from a long getaway... the suicidal thoughts are close to gone

[xXSufferingXx]

i had planned to end myself on this mentioned vacation, i even brought props like rope and a suicide note, actually not a suicide note, but i had
written my family's contact info on a bunch of post it notes that i would leave in the hotel room.
i even brought a beanie to put over my face bc i didn't want anyone to see the scary sight of the hanging.

but... and i kinda expected this... i was so happy on the vacation that the desire to die kinda went away.
i've been home a few weeks now, and i'm still feeling ok.

idk if that's gonna be forever, but... i'm KINDA ok now...
i don't have a question or anything, just reporting.

 

[imontheloose]

I'm incredibly happy for you. I wish everyone to reach their ideal state whether that be non-existence or something as silly as becoming a clown!

 

[elenaboo25]

For me, every time I go to the UK, the thoughts go away. And they stay away for a while after, but then they come back with a vengeance. It's like my will to live is stuck in the UK and I can't ever fully take it back home with me. I tend to have a mental breakdown whenever I come back from vacation.

 

[xXSufferingXx]

For me, every time I go to the UK, the thoughts go away. And they stay away for a while after, but then they come back with a vengeance. It's like my will to live is stuck in the UK and I can't ever fully take it back home with me. I tend to have a mental breakdown whenever I come back from vacation.

interesting. what does the UK do for you? good friends there?

 

[elenaboo25]

interesting. what does the UK do for you? good friends there?

I feel I can be more myself there. I can be openly autistic in public there without getting in trouble. I do have some friends there, and my boyfriend is there as well, although he is a source of trouble at times.