Just another retarded freak.

[HeckingHecked]

Everywhere I go I try my best, and everyone either ignores me, or treats me like shit due to my complete lack of social skills. Do people actually possess empathy, or is it just another lie told to us by idealists?

 

[Sanva]

i feel like people only have empathy towards people that are like them, people that fit in

 

[HeckingHecked]

i feel like people only have empathy towards people that are like them, people that fit in

I see :(

 

[FuneralCry]

All people are selfish, they only care about what directly affects themselves. They would do anything just to make themselves feel better. People can be very cruel. I always tend to see the worst in others though.

 

[Sanva]

I see :(

that doesn't make you a retarded freak though. It just means they have a different perspective and are unwilling or unable to see yours. I empathize with you because you seem to struggle with similar things I struggle with.

 

[HeckingHecked]

that doesn't make you a retarded freak though. It just means they have a different perspective and are unwilling or unable to see yours. I empathize with you because you seem to struggle with similar things I struggle with.

Thank you

 

[Suicidebydeath]

that doesn't make you a retarded freak though. It just means they have a different perspective and are unwilling or unable to see yours. I empathize with you because you seem to struggle with similar things I struggle with.

That makes three of us. I think the solution is to just go with the flow, and build up instincts that'll help to fit in. Even if the situation feels bad to us, pretend everything is normal and convince ourselves somehow, otherwise we go on to suffer invisible pain for no reason. There's no fix that'll let us communicate or be understood easily, which feels unfair so all we can do is mask and try to be like others. It's sad and I hate it.

 

[Niko66]

I know how you feel... I also have terrible social skills and I might as well be invisible/worthless to most people. I agree with above poster people only empathize for those they like or relate with.

 

[miserableforever]

Everywhere I go I try my best, and everyone either ignores me, or treats me like shit due to my complete lack of social skills. Do people actually possess empathy, or is it just another lie told to us by idealists?

You guessed it

 

[HeckingHecked]

That makes three of us. I think the solution is to just go with the flow, and build up instincts that'll help to fit in. Even if the situation feels bad to us, pretend everything is normal and convince ourselves somehow, otherwise we go on to suffer invisible pain for no reason. There's no fix that'll let us communicate or be understood easily, which feels unfair so all we can do is mask and try to be like others. It's sad and I hate it.

I don't plan on doing that. CTB is preferable. It's like, if I gain those social skills, why am I then all of a sudden worthy of basic respect?

 

[Niko66]

I don't plan on doing that. CTB is preferable. It's like, if I gain those social skills, why am I then all of a sudden worthy of basic respect?

Also really feel you on that, I resent the society that has been so cruel and apathetic so I hate the the idea of fitting in, I'd be happy living off the grid, just wish I could find a romantic partner though...

 

[Suicidebydeath]

I don't plan on doing that. CTB is preferable. It's like, if I gain those social skills, why am I then all of a sudden worthy of basic respect?

Yes its confusing, and perhaps asking for the impossible which is why CTB is the solution. I'm sure that rewiring the brain would be the only way. E.g. it feels like we're not getting basic respect by default, the only fix is to remove our own feelings or live with them somehow. Or find someone or a community that makes you feel differently. We have limited options that border on the impossible.

If one somehow gains social skills then people would likely treat you better, that's how it works, even though it feels unfair that way. It would make existence more tenable. Personally I think asking people to gain social skills is pretty rough too, everyone deserves better support imho.

Also really feel you on that, I resent the society that has been so cruel and apathetic so I hate the the idea of fitting in, I'd be happy living off the grid, just wish I could find a romantic partner though...

Living off the grid and new romantic partners both sound ideal. Sometimes I envy even the idea of working on another planet far away from everyone else. I imagine it would get lonely though. That's what people don't understand, is that we still get lonely like everyone else.

 

[Hans Voralberg]

In my opinion people have empathy but on very different levels one person will be have low level of empathy and will be able to understand emotions from closest members of family and friends (very small group of people) other will be have big level of empathy which gives them ability to emotionally connect even to a internet stranger and try to understand his/her emotions and situation. Person with big level of empathy will be see your inner self you won't be wirdo for such person because such kind of person takes a time to learn and understand other human being and see true image of this person without stereotypical thinking. You will find this type of people in your life it will take time but it is worth my girlfriend is this type of person she is very empathetic she really saw me through my anxiety and emotional scars or even abandonment issues.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

@HeckingHecked, @Sanva, @Nikola
How many of you suffer from anhedonia?
Do you find it difficult to express when you like someone? Or does it feel like you don't know how to do something nice for someone, like its awkward/risky and you just have to hope they feel how you feel, assuming they feel the same way?
Do you ever wish for people to understand how you feel or to be able to express yourself better in words?

 

[Niko66]

How many of you suffer from anhedonia?
Do you find it difficult to express when you like someone? Or does it feel like you don't know how to do something nice for someone, like its awkward/risky and you just have to hope they feel how you feel, assuming they feel the same way?
Do you ever wish for people to understand how you feel or to be able to express yourself better in words?

I do have anhedonia, started developing in my teens and from a couple of years til now it's become so severe I hardly get interested in people anymore so I am really struggling to answer this, I have been isolated for the past almost 2 years cuz of the pandemic and my memory isn't good, I can barely remember how I used to feel when I was more functional.

I was always too ashamed of myself and afraid of rejection to express liking someone even before then, I was always somewhat of an outcast but at least if I never intiated I couldn't straight up be rejected. Also was way too awkward and clueless to know how to approach someone even if I wanted to. I only developed some social skills in my adulthood, nothing came naturally to me, I always had to first observe and mimic the behaviours of others to fit in, but now it feels too late because of my other issues have progressed and the current world state.

And yeah I used to think all the time how I wish people would try to understand me, to look past the awkwardness and give me a chance, to get to know the real me. But again now I feel like a zombie with no personality so it doesn't matter anymore even if someone could understand me.

 

[HeckingHecked]

@HeckingHecked, @Sanva, @Nikola
How many of you suffer from anhedonia?
Do you find it difficult to express when you like someone? Or does it feel like you don't know how to do something nice for someone, like its awkward/risky and you just have to hope they feel how you feel, assuming they feel the same way?
Do you ever wish for people to understand how you feel or to be able to express yourself better in words?

I'm not suffering from anhedonia anymore. I can feel intense pleasure and intense pain. Unfortunately, people treat me like shit.

 

[meetapple]

People treat me like shit too. I don't know if it is related to social skills but comfort. I think I would display extreme discomfort which would cause attention directed towards me. Then people would find superficial things wrong with me. Then I would feel bad about myself which would cause more attention and this would cycle on and on. Perhaps you can take a break so your mind can rest and you feel better.

 

[Sanva]

@HeckingHecked, @Sanva, @Nikola
How many of you suffer from anhedonia?
Do you find it difficult to express when you like someone? Or does it feel like you don't know how to do something nice for someone, like its awkward/risky and you just have to hope they feel how you feel, assuming they feel the same way?
Do you ever wish for people to understand how you feel or to be able to express yourself better in words?

I don't have anhedonia, I still enjoy some things, mainly playing video games. But my anxiety and bad feelings are so overwhelming that it outweighs that.
I couldn't even get to that point with other people, I can't do even the most basic social interaction, people will talk to me for a bit but I'm so awkward and uncomfortable that they leave after a while. It sucks because I know that I'm not really like that, I can be funny when I'm comfortable around someone, but it takes me months of just talking to that person one on one to get to that point, and there have been very few people in my life with whom I've got to that point. So even if I like someone, expressing that would just be weird because there's no way they could ever like me.
And of course, I wish people would understand that I want to be normal, but I just can't, it's not because I'm an arrogant bitch or anything, I just can't.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

I completely understand you. I always try my best with people, but I'm never taken seriously and I'm always ignored. I believe appearance is a big factor in my being treated like this (I know, it might sound like bullshit in cel). In my experience, 99% of people will only have patience and care for you if you have something to give (be it beauty, money or social status).

 

[HeckingHecked]

I completely understand you. I always try my best with people, but I'm never taken seriously and I'm always ignored. I believe appearance is a big factor in my being treated like this (I know, it might sound like bullshit in cel).

Well, I'm starting to think that isn't true, at least not completely. I know some fairly attractive people that are completely ignored due to having the bare minimum social skills. And, vice-versa; there are some people who aren't whatsoever attractive at my school, but they get by because they follow the social hierchy and treat people like they're below them.

 

[AnotherTragicName]

Maybe they don't understand what you are up to.

If someone fits in, maybe in a weak way, but still assimilated, people can understand his behaviour. They know how to act upon you and what is expected from you.

So if someone behaves strange, the person could be dangerous, unpredictable, unable to be helped, etc.


I don't judge you, I know the taste of life you are describing. Just trying to understand people's behaviour and share my thughts and insights.


Another point of view might be, people stop when you make them feel bad.

So they might be empathatic, they are able to feel into their surroundings, and willing to help. Helping feels good.

But if someone or something makes them feel bad, they will avoid it. Just as everyone, people avoid pain.

Status, or at least being "part of the group", definitly comes into play. I remember a social experiment years ago, in which a guy in a suit pretended to fall in public. Everybody rushed to his help.

Guess how the situation went, as someone looking like a homeless fell in public. Noone stoped by to help.

Maybe it's the fear of being associated with an outcast. Maybe they are looking down on him. Maybe they are disgusted. Maybe they are affraid.

In the same way, people might even look up to someone waering a suit, wanting more to be like him, or seeing him as "equal". And of course, everyone will see how helpful you are to
others, to those you are not viewed controvercially.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

Everywhere I go I try my best, and everyone either ignores me, or treats me like shit due to my complete lack of social skills. Do people actually possess empathy, or is it just another lie told to us by idealists?

trust me its just a lie you are probably only socially retarded. your right side of the brain is where your social skills come from but the left side is where your intellectual skills come from. you're probably just right brain weak. people are over-rated anyways. you can give and give and give, and they'll just find something they don't like about you leave anyways. I'll be you're friend because misfits stick together, right?!

 

[whatevs]

Everywhere I go I try my best, and everyone either ignores me, or treats me like shit due to my complete lack of social skills. Do people actually possess empathy, or is it just another lie told to us by idealists?

They just have ENOUGH empathy to function. In truth, if we could all feel what the downtrodden beggar that we pass by without a second thought feels, we could not live, at least not how we do. When you feel great the last thing you want is to have to feel what people that feel like shit are feeling. It's easier to either ignore or attack them.

 

[Braindead Atheist]

People treat me like shit too. I don't know if it is related to social skills but comfort. I think I would display extreme discomfort which would cause attention directed towards me. Then people would find superficial things wrong with me. Then I would feel bad about myself which would cause more attention and this would cycle on and on. Perhaps you can take a break so your mind can rest and you feel better.

people will find any reason not to be your friend when things become hard for them.