Just a thought about society

[Deleted member 22650]

I just found this forum, i've been searching the whole night for a forum like this, through discord servers, forums, google, facebook, youtube.. nothing, then I found an article that was linking to this forum, at first I thought it was an old forum from like 2012, but people literally post here every second, which that a shit loads of poeple are feeling depress just tonight there has been 3 people that made post about their suicide attempt, and they are doing it at this very moment, but all we hear about in the news in Covid 19, I honestly think that suicide brings way more death in the world then this stupid virus, yet none talks about it and it still is super taboo, everyone suppresses their CTB desires and I find it quite sad... but I wish to everyone that end up doing it to find peace in the other side.

 

[bloodbath]

Hi, I also found this forum that way. How are you doing my friend?
Wish you well.

 

[Stick]

Welcome! I'm glad you found this place. It is sad that suicide is so taboo, if more discussion were opened up, more solutions could be found.

 

[Insertname1]

It is a shame suicide is still so taboo, its good websites like this exist to help people, like how many people go to a doctors office and say they want to ctb really, not many coz they know what will happen, this is like a place of refuge for people like us,

 

[sadworld]

Welcome!! Yeah, this forum is wonderful, we are finally able to speak about everything and there are so many kind and supportive people on here. If im not mistaken i think there are more deaths by suicide then by corona in 2020.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

It is a shame suicide is still so taboo, its good websites like this exist to help people, like how many people go to a doctors office and say they want to ctb really, not many coz they know what will happen, this is like a place of refuge for people like us,

Yeah i know, i've had my fair share of therapist, i dont talk about this anymore, psychiatry is like prison where you are forced to feel good otherwise you stay in a blank room on a bed all day, doing nothing, at least thats how it is in Canada.

Welcome!! Yeah, this forum is wonderful, we are finally able to speak about everything and there are so many kind and supportive people on here. If im not mistaken i think there are more deaths by suicide then by corona in 2020.

that's for sure, i see suicide happening every second here. that's crazy
Thanks for the welcome :)

 

[Insertname1]

Yeah i know, i've had my fair share of therapist, i dont talk about this anymore, psychiatry is like prison where you are forced to feel good otherwise you stay in a blank room on a bed all day, doing nothing, at least thats how it is in Canada.

I was in a place in florida that had a few tables, couple couches with a tv(most channels blocked) and like 6 people to a room, not fun. So I've never mentioned ctb to a therapist since, that was over 9 years ago, can you imagine if I told them I've ordered SN lol they'd lock me up straight away

 

[Deleted member 22650]

Hi, I also found this forum that way. How are you doing my friend?
Wish you well.

I'm okay I guess, ive been better but it feels nice to talk with people because in real life i'm alone as fuck, i've been having sucidal thought for the past months and I know they are not temporary, they are the same I use to had couple years ago but this time i want to do properly, i'm not telling anyone in real life and i'm for sure not gonna end up at the thepist, I just want peace, don't to seek attention or validation or something, how about you friend?

I was in a place in florida that had a few tables, couple couches with a tv(most channels blocked) and like 6 people to a room, not fun. So I've never mentioned ctb to a therapist since, that was over 9 years ago, can you imagine if I told them I've ordered SN lol they'd lock me up straight away

Yeah lol don't tell em, anyway from what i've gathered people who becomes therapist are the people that can't fiigure out how to live their own life so they decide to help others, usually it's that sweet girl at school you had a crushed on but just wanted you as friend lol

 

[Insertname1]

I'm okay I guess, ive been better but it feels nice to talk with people because in real life i'm alone as fuck, i've been having sucidal thought for the past months and I know they are not temporary, they are the same I use to had couple years ago but this time i want to do properly, i'm not telling anyone in real life and i'm for sure not gonna end up at the thepist, I just want peace, don't to seek attention or validation or something, how about you friend?

Yeah lol don't tell em, anyway from what i've gathered people who becomes therapist are the people that can't fiigure out how to live their own life so they decide to help others, usually it's that sweet girl at school you had a crushed on but just wanted you as friend lol

I've found alot of therapists are in it just for a job, youll get the odd 1 that does it to purely help people, been to a couple private ones and they're definitely in it for the money especially when they charge £250 an hour

 

[Deleted member 22650]

I've found alot of therapists are in it just for a job, youll get the odd 1 that does it to purely help people, been to a couple private ones and they're definitely in it for the money especially when they charge £250 an hour

oh you talking about private therapist, i'm talking about publics one, the one you see at the hospital, but your right, they profit of our misery

 

[_Kaira_]

I have really grown to love SS. Before, I was just a lurker, but creating an account has so far been a very beneficial choice for me. I know people who are depressed, and sometimes talk about suicide. The difference I have noticed, their suicidal feelings are very fleeting and usually only come out when they feel anxious about something. Otherwise I get told how much they love life, etc. Meanwhile I genuinely just wish I could find options to make myself happy, but no matter how hard I try I just don't see any other way.

The ward I used to be put into had open door rooms, 2 per room. During the day, there was group rooms we would just sit in until scheduled "healing" events, or extremely short meetings with the ward psychiatrists, and case worker meetings. We had daily exercise. Walking in a single file line around the ward halls while behind led by our glorified babysitters. Minimum quality care, if you ask me. This site has helped me more in a few days than 'professional' help has ever helped me in years. I haven't found any form of professional 'help' actually helpful now that I come to think of it. Not even my private therapist or psychiatrist helps. I guess that's what you get with US government mandated healthcare.

I also think the whole "mental illness awareness month" aspect is a bunch of BS. A bunch of sheep patting themselves on the back for telling the mentally ill and suicidal that "it's ok to be sad. But please think of those who care about you before you act." Just lol.

 

[Insertname1]

oh you talking about private therapist, i'm talking about publics one, the one you see at the hospital

I've seen public ones too, they arent any better, same education. But ultimately still about as useful as a glass hammer

I have really grown to love SS. Before, I was just a lurker, but creating an account has so far been a very beneficial choice for me. I know people who are depressed, and sometimes talk about suicide. The difference I have noticed, their suicidal feelings are very fleeting and usually only come out when they feel anxious about something. Otherwise I get told how much they love life, etc. Meanwhile I genuinely just wish I could find options to make myself happy, but no matter how hard I try I just don't see any other way.

The ward I used to be put into had open door rooms, 2 per room. During the day, there was group rooms we would just sit in until scheduled "healing" events, or extremely short meetings with the ward psychiatrists, and case worker meetings. We had daily exercise. Walking in a single file line around the ward halls while behind led by our glorified babysitters. Minimum quality care, if you ask me. This site has helped me more in a few days than 'professional' help has ever helped me in years. I haven't found any form of professional 'help' actually helpful now that I come to think of it. Not even my private therapist or psychiatrist helps. I guess that's what you get with US government mandated healthcare.

I also think the whole "mental illness awareness month" aspect is a bunch of BS. A bunch of sheep patting themselves on the back for telling the mentally ill and suicidal that "it's ok to be sad. But please think of those who care about you before you act." Just lol.

That last paragraph, so true. Its just a check box to say they've done something

 

[Deleted member 22650]

You guys are right, ultimately i've just come to the conclusion that some people were just not lucky when it comes to their genetics, successful people usually have success at young age and this path only grow stronger, while unsuccessful people will just keep on failing until death comes, i mean you can fight it but it will always be harder then the average Joe, as for therapist yeah they are a real joke, they don't accept that you will not feel better so they send you in those prisons.

 

[bloodbath]

I'm okay I guess, ive been better but it feels nice to talk with people because in real life i'm alone as fuck, i've been having sucidal thought for the past months and I know they are not temporary, they are the same I use to had couple years ago but this time i want to do properly, i'm not telling anyone in real life and i'm for sure not gonna end up at the thepist, I just want peace, don't to seek attention or validation or something, how about you friend?

I hope you achieve peace be it in life or in death.

I'm feeling kinda empty, just distracting myself you know. Planning to ctb next week so all this shit is getting real right now. I'm doing my best to keep calm and not screw up everything.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

I hope you achieve peace be it in life or in death.

I'm feeling kinda empty, just distracting myself you know. Planning to ctb next week so all this shit is getting real right now. I'm doing my best to keep calm and not screw up everything.

I wish you the same. What's your plan?

 

[Insertname1]

You guys are right, ultimately i've just come to the conclusion that some people were just not lucky when it comes to their genetics, successful people usually have success at young age and this path only grow stronger, while unsuccessful people will just keep on failing until death comes, i mean you can fight it but it will always be harder then the average Joe, as for therapist yeah they are a real joke, they don't accept that you will not feel better so they send you in those prisons.

I've been fighting for years and years, since my early teens, im 30 now, and things don't really go great for me. My older brother is the opposite, loads of friends, good job, works out, has a car, is happy. Something went wrong with me lol

 

[bloodbath]

I wish you the same. What's your plan?

Thanks.
I'm going to use the SN method. Already bought the SN and all the recommended meds. By next week I'll book an hotel room and do it there.

 

[_Kaira_]

You guys are right, ultimately i've just come to the conclusion that some people were just not lucky when it comes to their genetics, successful people usually have success at young age and this path only grow stronger, while unsuccessful people will just keep on failing until death comes, i mean you can fight it but it will always be harder then the average Joe, as for therapist yeah they are a real joke, they don't accept that you will not feel better so they send you in those prisons.

It feels shitty I have to carefully word myself, just to avoid getting called on... "I have no active plans." I more or less have to say that whenever I even mention a hint of suicide.

@bloodbath When it comes time, I hope you have a safe passing.


@Insertname1 I'm 23. I was more or less was ignorant to all the problems of my birth and childhood as early as 3. But the feelings of depression didn't surface till about, idk 6th grade? At the time I didn't even know what those feelings worth. Just dread every day having to get up. I honestly do think it's genetic in my family but also brought on the trauma me and my brothers suffered. My eldest, I think is one of those who've convinced himself he's happy. My other brother is openly nihilistic and cynical. He more or less just accepts how life and society is and just pushes through it all. Personally I think I have it the worst of all (not that it's a competition. Just going based off of all our life events together and how we've handled it).

 

[Deleted member 22650]

I've been fighting for years and years, since my early teens, im 30 now, and things don't really go great for me. My older brother is the opposite, loads of friends, good job, works out, has a car, is happy. Something went wrong with me lol

I feel the same dude, my younger brother everything goes right for him he seem have natural talent with people and relationships overall, as for me, yeah same thing then you.

Thanks.
I'm going to use the SN method. Already bought the SN and all the recommended meds. By next week I'll book an hotel room and do it there.

Hopefully you make a post commenting your journey, and comeback here even if it fails. Wish the best of luck, as for me i'm still not sure about the method I will go for, SN seems to be a reliable way of doing it, but i'm still trying to get my hands on some N. If I can't i'll use SN or maybe Nitrogen, but yeah it all depends on what I can get my hands on.