Oh my god dude I hate reddit
Please know that you're not in the wrong here
To actually try to answer your question, I think it's important to understand that there will always be people who do better than you, and it's better to feel happy that they "made it" than feel envy. Life really isn't fair, and even if you worked the same amount, they may be better off than you are because of sheer luck. Maybe it's a bit of an insensitive response, I'm sorry. I don't know how bad your situation is. But even the richest in the world have peers who do better than them, unless they're the head Rothschild or something. And I think it's a good thing to compare yourself to others. It means you have a sense of self-awareness and want to do better. But I think it's more important to compare how they got where they are, and how hard they worked, than where they ended up.
What prompted you to think about your peers doing better than you, OP?
You say that we should feel "happy" that they made it, rather than envious.
By that logic everyone who is happy should start feeling miserable for those who are suffering, instead of counting their blessings and basking in their own privileges and superiority.
And would they ever do such a thing?
Of course not!
Should slaves be "happy" for their masters, that they are doing better than they are?
Should the starving be "happy" that the rest of us have food on our plates?
Should they quell that rumbling sound of envy that is merely alerting them that something is wrong (very wrong)?
Misery born from inequality and unfairness/asymmetry of opportunities should never be quashed.
It's there for a reason, to fuel and incentivize us to continue fighting for balance and equality, in every significant facet of life, until suffering from the more damning comparisons ceases to exist.
As far as your own example goes, if you're one of the "richest in the world" and you're still looking to the next guy with a couple million more than your multiple billions, then you're nitpicking at that point when you've already reached a level where it doesn't really matter if "so and so" has more money than you do, because at least you have more than enough and are still in the upper echelon.
Once you reach a certain height, being #1 matters less and less, and avoiding conversations of insulting comparison becomes much easier, as well as the consequences of said inevitable comparisons diminishing substantially (along with more covert and insidious manners of comparison).
In that sense, it is those who are the best off who-before everyone else-can afford to be hammered with the oft misplaced and poorly used platitude of "comparison is the thief of joy".
(And yet
they are usually the ones trying to hammer that dumb-as-fuck sentiment home to others who don't fare nearly as well.)
So someone always having it worse or better is not a good argument against "comparing one's self to others"-which, btw-is a way of blaming the victim, as most comparison, in reality, comes from external and unavoidable sources. Comparison, in all its forms, is a constant of life, for better or worse.
Anyway, yes, it can be a "good" thing, as you mentioned..being aware of your own standing is the only way you can improve (and also one of the ways to see how you're being cheated while others are not).
I agree that we should first compare how these 'others' got to be so much better off than ourselves-rather than only seeing the surface and believing we somehow deserve the inferiority that society bestowed upon us, however it almost never comes down to just how hard someone worked, much of it is due to things outside of our control- but this is not something to accept (beyond accepting the current reality of it), it is an unfortunate fact that we should spit in the face of until it kneels.
This is why I don't go on Reddit because the people on there are very similar to those on Twitter. If you hold a non mainstream view you will not only be attacked but ridiculed as well. There is no such thing as a back and forth or "agree to disagree" there. I think it's best to stick to SS because most people here are non judgemental.
Whenever I feel the most frustrated with the poisonous status quo, Instagram platitudes spouted by the most privileged, and the "one solution for all" views that are rampant elsewhere on the internet (and in daily life), I always come back here where I know there will at least be SOMEONE who gets it and sees the bullshit for what it really is: BULLSHIT.
I have still vehemently argued with people on here (especially when they share the sentiments of those who frequent the more common internet spaces), but overall there is a higher degree of both intellectual/objective and socially anecdotal openness that I have yet to see anywhere else.
