Discussion jealous of people who got to ctb

[Bombercrab]

i get jealous every time i hear someone successfully CTBd and i kind feel like an asshole for it
on one hand im like good for them, im glad their in a better place and dont have to be on this goofy ah planet any longer.

but also it upsets me that im still here, i want to leave to, am i not committed enough to CTBing?
iv heared people say that people who truly want to ctb will do it without hesitation and wont spend months looking up methods and planning.
and that if u discuss it then ur just reaching for help to stop urself
does that suggest im not suicidal enough for not going through with it?
am i larping being a suicidal person because i keep failing to commit?

i know this isnt true and that its really really complicated like obvs there's a lot of biological stuff going on as well
but like thats often where my thoughts end up going

 

[KarmaKat]

unfortunately, life often comes with built-in costumer retention that you can't opt out of... it's not the same for everyone and dealing with it is certainly a journey for some.

some get out and find something to strive for in life, while the lucky ones hang up the call and catch the bus.

you're on your own journey and I wish you peace wherever it leads you, don't feel ashamed for taking your time.

 

[Shrub]

I feel the same here, reading through cases where people have successfully CTB'd makes me feel pressured to go through with it myself, but I never do out of demotivation or fear. I get easily inundated by these thoughts and start looking for new methods, then the cycle repeats itself. CTB'ing seems glaringly easy yet I just can't bring myself to do it.

 

[itsgone2]

I don't know either. It's odd being in a spot where it's the right decision, but you're still here. I'm in a daze most of the time. Today included.

 

[iamjustapebble]

i feel the same