Discussion Jealous of people here because their issues aren't too bad

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

I see so many folks with lives I would kill for throw it all away because of rather mundane reasons (from my POV).

Despote my abundance of trauma (raised by dBPD mother) && mental illnesses: severe OCD, PTSD, etc.

I desperate want to get a grip on my suffocating mental disorders and live my best life yet that's seemingly impossible

 

[KiraX]

and theres many that would be jealous of you too- there is no "who has it worst is the most valid?"

 

[Cress]

Yeah it's not really a competition on who has the worst life. It only subjectively matters to the specific person that has to live that life if it's worth it to them or not. I had a little debate and short discussion with a friend regarding assisted suicide And he pressed me for the exact details And if I was an organization how would I be administering it.

I basically just said that the deal would be if you utilize the service that there would be a reasonable Section of time to try to correct some of the issues you might be having but at the end of the day if the individual doesn't believe life is worth living any more then we would still let them go and catch the bus. Even if subjectively we Solved your issues To a significant degree it doesn't really matter if the individual in question is still unhappy and miserable.

With that said to be honest I feel a little bit isolated on this site and few people can relate to me because the majority of my issues are now medically related in regards to my neuropathy damage And medical issues Are just not the primary issue the vast majority of people deal with. It doesn't matter what the issues are still respect everyone's decision to catch the bus

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I think we all deal better with the suffering of others rather than our own. The grass always looks greener on the other side

 

[EvisceratedJester]

You do realize there are people out there who've had it way worst than you and don't make comments like this because they know better, right? This sort of "I've had it worst" mentality is dumb, especially since you are you. For you, other peoples issues may not seem like a big deal, but it is a big deal for them. You aren't them. You haven't actually experienced what they've experienced first-hand, you don't know everything about their lives, you don't have their brain chemistry, etc. Therefore, you have no right to say anything about having it worse.

My mom's side of the family is way more dysfunctional than my dad's side of the family, and she would have had a lot of struggles in life growing up, but my dad is actually the one who ended up suffering from mental illness, who has had to be hospitalized as a result of mental health issues, and has even attempted suicide in the past. You can't simplify people's experiences down to "I'm jealous of them because I have it worse".

Sorry for the rant, but this sort of "trauma olympics" mentality is why you end up having so many people suffer so much in silence and even straight up rationalizing their awful and traumatic experiences. I understand if you think their issues aren't a big deal, but if that's the case then just shut it. Nobody needs to hear about how you think you have it worse than others.

 

[Kit1]

I see so many folks with lives I would kill for throw it all away because of rather mundane reasons (from my POV).

Despote my abundance of trauma (raised by dBPD mother) && mental illnesses: severe OCD, PTSD, etc.

I desperate want to get a grip on my suffocating mental disorders and live my best life yet that's seemingly impossible

I am so sorry for how you feel. That sounds quite a lonely place to be.

I have never really shared much about my life or gone into particulars as I did not want to trigger anyone. I have had therapists quit kn me as they could not handle the pressure. I once had a psychotherapist who tried EMDR with me and I dissociated - when I came to, she was panicking and I had to help her with breathing techniques! But pain is pain. Even this morning, I listened to someone who was upset as they could no longer afford a luxury holiday due to budget restrictions and my heart went out to her as she was genuinely in pain and upset - she doesn't know that I went through a part of my life living on the streets, had no food and was still underage and was hiding from authorities as I was worried that they will rape me as well. Her pain is real to her as is yours right now and in fact, it must be difficult for you to face your feelings and deal with them. I am so sorry that you feel the way you do and that you too have had a challenging life like everyone else here.

 

[Foreverix]

One can't possibly deduce what someone else's experience is like from internet posts alone. Just because someone doesn't have similar issues, doesn't mean they don't suffer as well. Some folks have the world and still suffer in myriad ways. But to invalidate their experience by implying that they're simply ungrateful, or overlooking their benefits, is reductionist and highly presumptuous.

You never know what battles someone else is fighting.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Each one of us is suffering for reasons that make us want to CTB. Each reason is fully valid bc suffering is suffering, no doubt.

 

[MeowTheFlemishCat]

All pro-lifers and other sentient beings should be jealous of me . Because I have the means and will to exit this hell while they'll toil along as slaves for years while I will be not existing forever.....

What makes your life a living hell?

 

[DyingToDie123]

I just... feel like anyone who feels like they have a neutral or worse life has a very valid reason to ctb?

I'm really tempted to compare to OP, up until recently depression was my only reason to want to ctb which is maybe a dumb, solvable issue to some (even though it's been lifelong), but now I have a slew of life-ruining legal issues that are going to follow me around forever that I feel like no one understands and there's part of me that wants to try to get validation for that (esp if I'm one of the people you refer to in your post). But I have to remind myself it's not a competition. I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes or you in mine. We're both in a lot of pain, probably. That's the most important thing.

I have journal entries about wanting to die going back to when I was 5 for reasons I can't remember but would have probably been considered dumb by most people. But I feel like anything that puts you in that much pain is awful and nothing to minimize.

 

[CPY]

I don't know about people on here, but I relate to this so much IRL.

I feel absolutely envious of those people who don't suffer.Even more of people who claim they are suffering but actually aren't

I refer to them in my mind derogatorily as "folks who have it good"( it sounds better in my native language)

 

[Milianna]

I never found it to be a useful exercise to say "who has it worse".

We're all suffering here. On the surface, my family had it. We had a nice house, vacations, whatever. Yet in that same house, I was hit, slapped, pinned against walls, dragged out of closets, constantly verbally and emotionally abused. Yet we still had "nice" moments. Appearances are deceiving.

I don't understand why oppression Olympics are a thing. It's the same mentality as "There are kids starving in Africa". Like ok. There are kids starving in Africa (I know how reductive this is) but the existence of suffering in other people does not negate yours. And dealing with the kids suffering from Africa is a completely different issue and it's a bit of a straw man argument.

 

[tiger b]

Pain is pain is pain.

'Mundane' means every day. And pain is every day.

 

[OreosAndDeath]

Everyone likes to think they're the main character and the person who is the most important.

It doesn't matter why you're sad or wanting to ctb. All that matters is you feel that way and that is valid. We don't stan making sadness a competitive sport here. I'm sure my trauma and experiences are light compared to other people here. That doesn't make anyone else's pain any less painful and destructive.

 

[Engström]

So, after my first serious attempt, I basically forced myself into retirement at age 30. I had quit the career I loved as I felt I was no longer good for the job, I felt broken and ashamed, a plethora of feelings. I was very hard on myself.

In my year of "recovery" I watched a lot of Ru Paul's Drag Race and it genuinely made me smile and laugh. I cried a few times, too. I started watching again recently and felt overcome with emotion. I realized why I loved the show so much. It was like I was able to climb a fence just enough to see over it, and see all of these people who had overcome some extreme difficulties celebrate their lives and their style, and they laughed and danced, they cried like me. I realized I wanted to, or wished to be over on that side of the fence with them. I wasn't envious, no. I wanted a similar acceptance they had, I wanted to friends with all of them.

Or even one of them.

When I watch old seasons of Drag Race, many times I feel such happiness for the competitors.

I'm not envious now, and haven't been in my life. It was drilled into my head at an early age not to want for material things, and that was sort of the groundwork of how I grew up - not to be jealous at all, basically. I grew up in an extremely religious home, and it explains a lot. Or at least helps me understand why I am the way I am, and why I do what I do, or don't do.

 

[NeedAnEscape]

This 'trauma olympics' prevented me from voicing my struggles for many years. In my mind, I had no right to discuss my own problems because others had it worse than I did. I kept all of my troubles to myself, waiting for life to get better all on its own. But, it didn't. I just suffered in silence.

I recall opening up to a close friend about my struggles. I hardly went into depth, just talked surface level about how my month had been. I had minimized my experiences of 'not wanting to wake up most mornings' to 'not a big deal' in my own mind. But, she was horrified by everything I told her. I had only revealed a fraction of my story, and my friend thought my experiences were worse than hers. She was experiencing a lot of stress at the time, and I truly believed that her experiences were worse than mine. In truth, we were both going through difficult times and comparing our suffering did not help either of us.

The fact of the matter is that we are all suffering. Someone might have more money than someone else, someone might have a relationship while somebody else doesn't, someone might have access to therapy/medication while somebody else doesn't... But in the end, we all do not want to be alive. Comparing ourselves to others, minimizing each other's stories, and being envious of other people's lives is an unproductive use of time. Just because others had it better doesn't mean that their experiences and feelings are not valid. The 'trauma olympics' leads to people shutting themselves down and refusing to share their experiences. This only contributes to the stigma around suicide, depression, self harm, etc. It doesn't help the people who ARE searching for help and resources. Nobody should feel like they have no right to discuss their experiences because they have had it 'better' than somebody else.

 

[Meditation guide]

This could devolve into a who has it worse contest. It's easy to assume others aren't suffering as much as we are but unless we can walk in each other's shoes we cannot know what others are really going through.

Many of us don't go into details here of what hell we are suffering through.

 

[undecided]

I see so many folks with lives I would kill for throw it all away because of rather mundane reasons (from my POV).

Despote my abundance of trauma (raised by dBPD mother) && mental illnesses: severe OCD, PTSD, etc.

I desperate want to get a grip on my suffocating mental disorders and live my best life yet that's seemingly impossible

It's not a bloody competition mate ! Who are you to say others have a good life that's better than yours ? Are you for real ?????????

 

[LaVieEnRose]

You are free to feel envy or resentment towards people whose lives you perceive to be better than yours.

I know I have felt envy at some people's lives here when they were described.

Just don't guilt-trip anyone.

 

[silligant]

Oh yes, that makes sense to me, though I desire the inverse. I'd really like to have meaningful problems; at the moment my reasons for suicide are very weak (and really this just makes things all the worse) and I feel as though it'd be quite pathetic to take this path as is

 

[f1lth]

i think a lot of people just may not have the words to fully express and describe what theyre feeling and going through

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it's understandable- if someone is in horrific pain to be envious of someone who isn't. To imagine how grateful they would feel to have that person's life. But- would they really? I find that life is about contrast and our own experience. We're only truly grateful for our health when we lose it. If you had lived a 'normal' life from the start- who knows? Maybe you would be happy. Maybe you wouldn't though.

I think you also have to ask- Which is worse? To have absolutely no interest in life- no matter how good a life that person has or- to still have hope but not feel like a good life is achievable? Both suck- admitedly. But the person with no hope will almost undoubtably never recover. You can get annoyed at them that they are doing that to themselves. That they could shift their thinking. Haven't people said that to you though- with regards to your issues? Sorry but- it's not for you to decide that your problems are real and theirs aren't.

I'd openly admit that my situation is easier than many here- in some ways. My life hasn't been without problems- certainly but- some people here certainly have it worse. Truth is- if a lot of us could- we'd give you our lives in a flash to have a go at- if that were possible. Not a swap of course... a lot of us are done with life. Many wouldn't even choose to live a better life. Many simply want out. They feel that nothing would help them. It's debatable who has it worse. I'd rather just say that anyone who has found their way here is struggling so badly that they want to end it. No matter the reason- that's as bad as it gets.

 

[fwompie]

I think a few weeks ago you made this exact post which you got warned for and the thread got closed. Maybe take a hint.

 

[ForeverLonely82]

Everyone here is suffering for their own problems. I just wish I could help others feel better about their situation. Just because their reason isn't bad to you, doesn't mean it's not to them. I get what you are saying but as I stated. Everyone here is suffering. we all hate it in this shithole of a planet and we can't do anything to better it. I hate when people are like "Well make it better" they are quickly told to "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

 

[AnxietyHangover]

Are you jealous of my "horrible depression" (to quote one of my former psychiatrists), my bipolar disorder, my daily panic attacks that can last for hours? Or the fact that I'm on my third medication scheme while awaiting for a fourth one since the current one stopped working as well? We have users here which have dealt with this stuff for decades. Everyone suffers. Please don't make the mistake of taking the piss out of other people's suffering. I will be closing this thread.