Tikva
Love
- May 17, 2023
- 14
I feel so humiliated. So I'm gonna write down a few things.
I accept my sisters mental problems, I just am so hurt about when they are affecting me. I know I'm not perfect, and neither is she, but her feelings drive our conversations to "you against me," and it's so hurtful. I can't describe the feeling I have, unfortunately. I'm in so much pain for about 8 hours or so. I tried taking a shower, crying, and sleeping. My heart keeps on pounding out of my chest. I didn't even argue with her, so I don't know why she is always picking a conflict with me. I love her so much. I need to go eat dinner with her and my family now. I'm 28 and crying in my room because I am so scared of talking to her. I'm so scared she will hurt me again. I know it's probably not her intention. We both have emotional issues. I guess mine is usually internal aggression, and hers is towards others.
My throat is so dry and I am nauses just thinking about talking with her again.
I just ate with them, and they were talking, and I tried to engage, but it was too difficult, so I excused myself and got back to bed. They are talking about me, and I don't know how to behave. If I say she hurt me she's probably gonna talk with me and hurt me again since she was right (but I didn't argue with her) so she thinks the way she talked was justified. and maybe it is and I should deal with my feelings? Idk.
My mom just entered my room to try and talk with me and I tried to be honest. I think my sister's gonna be mad at me still. Idk how to have a conversation with her like that. I truly don't.
My sister wants to talk with me but I am so scared
It went horribly. She said she didn't understand why I was hurt that much, and maybe it's because of my previous baggage. I told her that's not fair. She said she wanted to point it out as a way to say that she gets me and that I talk to her very wrongly too, and she gave an example from months ago, which we already covered, and suddenly we started talking about how I offended her that time.... I just told her that I don't know how to talk with her and went back to my room. I don't know how to navigate that kind of conversation with her. She just doesn't listen, and it's even more hurtful.
I accept my sisters mental problems, I just am so hurt about when they are affecting me. I know I'm not perfect, and neither is she, but her feelings drive our conversations to "you against me," and it's so hurtful. I can't describe the feeling I have, unfortunately. I'm in so much pain for about 8 hours or so. I tried taking a shower, crying, and sleeping. My heart keeps on pounding out of my chest. I didn't even argue with her, so I don't know why she is always picking a conflict with me. I love her so much. I need to go eat dinner with her and my family now. I'm 28 and crying in my room because I am so scared of talking to her. I'm so scared she will hurt me again. I know it's probably not her intention. We both have emotional issues. I guess mine is usually internal aggression, and hers is towards others.
My throat is so dry and I am nauses just thinking about talking with her again.
I just ate with them, and they were talking, and I tried to engage, but it was too difficult, so I excused myself and got back to bed. They are talking about me, and I don't know how to behave. If I say she hurt me she's probably gonna talk with me and hurt me again since she was right (but I didn't argue with her) so she thinks the way she talked was justified. and maybe it is and I should deal with my feelings? Idk.
My mom just entered my room to try and talk with me and I tried to be honest. I think my sister's gonna be mad at me still. Idk how to have a conversation with her like that. I truly don't.
My sister wants to talk with me but I am so scared
It went horribly. She said she didn't understand why I was hurt that much, and maybe it's because of my previous baggage. I told her that's not fair. She said she wanted to point it out as a way to say that she gets me and that I talk to her very wrongly too, and she gave an example from months ago, which we already covered, and suddenly we started talking about how I offended her that time.... I just told her that I don't know how to talk with her and went back to my room. I don't know how to navigate that kind of conversation with her. She just doesn't listen, and it's even more hurtful.
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