as well as
@theboy
I started understanding that the world, in our eyes, is through 1) the neutrality of objects and 2) the lens through which we see it the world that divides things into positive, negative, and indifferent. Some people were saying that I was claiming that depression isn't real and that I am invalidating it because it's just mindset, but that's literally what depression is. It's basically just having a perception of life that makes the world look horrible.
Look at Nick Vujicic. He has absolutely no limbs, and he probably needs someone to help him with literally every aspect of his life. But what makes him successful and happy? He chooses to have a lens that is positive in the sense that he puts an intentional focus on looking for the good things in his life. He was utterly depressed, but he did overcome it!
The whole premise is that there is the law of polarity in this world. You can literally see ANYTHING as positive or negative, and you can choose whether you choose to focus on the good or the bad because it is existent literally anywhere. That's why literally ANY point of view on the world is valid. You CAN find the world to have absolutely no meaning because you choose to focus on all of the cons. A positive lens CAN find the world to be so beautiful, interesting, and fun by choosing to look at the good sides of things. This basically brings to light that any opinion on the world is valid. It's just up to you whether you want to have the most negative opinion on it or not.
This may be a very unusual, strange, alien experience when you have been depressed for a while. It will feel kind of fake in the beginning. But if you keep trying to do it and keep practicing it, you will start seeing how you can change your outlook on things by simply CHOOSING to focus more on the good rather than the bad. It will not be overnight because shutting down negative thought patterns and developing your control over those thought patterns through mindfulness takes time.
For example, you can be sad that your ex-partner was a complete asshole. Through my lens (I CHOOSE to focus on the good things), I believe that the world has lessons. If it hadn't been this specific person as my ex, it would have been someone else inevitably (And it's usually true). Of course, there may be "bad luck," but ultimately, I do believe that there are lessons in every moment that you believe to be unpleasant and thus, this helps to have more of a positive view of the world. I take this bad ex-partner as a lesson to avoid and dump people who act a certain way towards me, and I am thankful for this bad experience because it helps me to live my life in the present and future even better! You can also choose to think about how he made you feel so depressed and ruminate on negative emotions. That is a very valid way to look at things. But is that really how you want to choose to think? Also based on another of the aspects of overcoming depression, I take the lesson to use it in the present. Instead of thinking about the experience in the past, I focus a lot more on how I can use the lessons in the future and what situations I could use them in rather than the actual experience and how it felt in the past.
Do not tell me that you cannot choose how you think. It's not because you cannot choose. It's just because you need to develop that muscle where you can be mindful to accept and reject thoughts that pop into your brain through thought patterns. I will talk about that in a bit.
Another thing to point out is that being positive does not mean that I ignore my negative emotions or am perfect and happy 24/7. Absolutely not. It's just that I have emotional distress techniques where I know how to deal with my emotions once they start getting too negative, and then once I can calm down, I can try to change my perspective. Once you start feeling a 5/10 in feeling bad, you have to start calming yourself down so you can deal with your emotions in that logical sense where you can "choose your lens." If you feel utterly depressed and start trying to change your lens right now through "choosing to look at the positive side," it's not going to work because you are already indulged in an emotion that is flooding your brain with depressed thoughts that align with the emotion rather than actually being able to consciously think.
So, how do you change that lens? Mindfulness and meditation, the hierarchy of needs, emotional distress techniques, finding/doing/committing to hobbies, having self-discipline, and being present (stop thinking).
If you brush over mindfulness, you will forever be depressed. No joke. Mindfulness is based on the factual idea that our brains have thought patterns, and that 90% of what you thought yesterday is what you will think today. It's not because those thoughts are correct. It's just because they just pop into your brain. If you do not have any mindfulness of your thoughts, you will literally accept any thought that you randomly get popped into your mind and take it as the truth. For example, maybe you failed a test. Then you think, "Shit, I am a fucking failure." That is a THOUGHT PATTERN, not necessarily the truth. Like, should you really identify your entire self as a failure because of one screwed-up test? Hmm... That's why mindfulness is about taking a step back from your thoughts and seeing your thoughts as if you were looking in the eagle's eye of a chessboard. You see all of the chess pieces, but you aren't one of them. This analogy is in the sense that your thoughts and emotions are the chess pieces, and you notice them without judgment instead of actually embodying and identifying with the emotions and thoughts. In that sense, you have the choice to reject or accept them consciously because again, you have the choice. This is not going to be very easy, and the key thing here is having patience with yourself and not judging/scolding yourself for having negative thoughts. The key here is to notice WITHOUT judgment.
Meditation is the biggest thing for helping with mindfulness. It's about staying present, focusing on your breath, and then observing thoughts as they roll in without any judgment. It is especially good for focus and having "control" over your thoughts. You do not have control over the fact that random thoughts pop in your head. But you have the choice on whether you want that to be the truth of your reality because remember, by the law of polarity, every single thought can have truth. Choose the thoughts that you want to highlight as the truth of your reality.
The hierarchy of needs consists of having food, having some form of social interaction, having a purpose (can be as simple as living because that's my purpose honestly--my purpose is to simply be), etc. You do not need every single form to be satisfied (life purpose is based on your personal values--search up a list of values and find the ones you like--they can't be concrete goals), but it can help to boost your mood. For me, I would say that my life purpose is to be literally just alive and have peace and optimism and be grateful. I enjoy just sitting in the present in peace when I take a break after doing some huge homework assignments. Just being alive, for me, is my sense of purpose. The purpose of one's life is more about aligning with values rather than achieving a goal. For example, you value hard work, quality relationships, and peace. You then act accordingly in the best that you can. Read about all of the things in the hierarchy of needs and look at every single one and analyze how your life fulfills that need. Then see if change needs to be done. Change will be done through the act of self discipline, doing stuff even though you really don't want to do it because you don't feel like it.
Emotional distress techniques are the most important. When you get overwhelmed with emotion, you end up ultimately having thoughts that go out of control. You start thinking that everything is absolutely shit, especially when you're depressed or sad. The key to this is just checking online for techniques to handle emotional distress and see which one really appeals to you. Then, when you feel "not right" and feel kinda bad at least on a 5/10, you need to start using the emotional distress techniques to calm yourself down as much as possible. The reason for this is that if you read the entire text that I wrote here, it will not make sense or process through a mind that is overwhelmed with negative emotions. You need to do something that can calm you down and bring you closer to a state of peace. Then you can start seeing the logic to push away negative emotions. Even just having the feeling of "not feeling right" or feeling lost and confused are states of mind that you need to use emotional distress techniques to deal with. Just research on the internet about them and choose the one that seems the best for you.
Find hobbies and things to do and stop spending time on devices. There is a lot of research about the use of social media and how it perpetuates anxiety, depression, and a lack of concentration and focus. Get off of it and find other stuff to do with your life! Search up hobbies, and even if something SLIGHTLY interests you, do it. When you're depressed, you may think that every hobby is boring. But nah, you go off and try it! Try drawing, search up tutorials, etc. If that hobby didn't work for you, try another one. However, do try to commit a little before you switch to the next hobby. Sometimes, after you develop a new skill for the hobby, you may enjoy it a lot more. So be patient and try stuff out!
Self discipline is key. You cannot expect to get out of depression without absolutely forcing yourself to do stuff that you do not want to do at first. You have to FORCE yourself to take a shower, brush your teeth, and comb your hair no matter how much you don't want to do it. The key for me is to do a 5-second countdown and then doing it. 5 4 3 2 1 and then push myself off my seat and walk towards the task I need to do and then start doing it. You're going to do stuff that you do not like. But you have to do it for your well-being. This relates to the hierarchy of needs. You need to force yourself to take care of the needs to the most of your ability.
Being present is the key. Dwelling in the past = depression, and dwelling in the future = anxiety. Things are actually not that difficult when you don't think too much about it. Things seem very difficult in your head, but when you spend 99% of your time doing and the 1% thinking about what you are doing, you will be 10x happier. You do not need a perfect plan on what to do. Just start implementing random stuff and keep building on it. Spend as much time as you can in the present. The future and the past literally DO NOT exist--they only exist in your mind. The only thing that you have a grasp on is the present moment.
Also, set up downtime for yourself. Overstimulation is a problem in society where people feel the need to constantly stimulate themselves with either work or entertainment. You need at least 3.5 hours of downtime a day. You can do light reading (more entertainment and not too dramatic or sad) or showering or taking a walk or etc.
There is probably more, but this is what I thought of immediately. This got me out of depression without some shitty therapist because a lot of mental health services are a fucking joke. This is why I am becoming a psychiatrist so I can actually teach people to have happier lives rather than saying, "I understand," and asking robotic questions that make you feel pissed off.
Yeah, I wasn't looking at what section this was posted under initially. I shouldn't have made that comment in this sub. Even once I realized it, I was already unironically triggered by their savior complex characteristics (I've had people like that in my life use their complex as a form of abuse) hence why it struck such a cord in me. Regardless, still not an excuse. I apologize for making the environment more uncomfortable(? Sorry, I can't find the right word) by saying that this isn't a place to help.
Also, I do want people to get help if they want it. I'm in the process of it myself even though I still feel like I'll end up CTB at the end of the day. I just don't like others preaching that if recover isn't going well or as planned then it's more or less your fault. Like this person was doing. Since that is very harmful in itself.
I didn't realize that you see the savior complex as a form of abuse. I am sorry that you had to go through that. But at least you have the life experience to help your life in the present and the future.
Also, I do not think that if recovery isn't going well or as planned that it is your "fault." I feel like that idea is more the idea of scolding yourself and hating yourself. For me, I would say more of my perspective is dealing with recovery without judgment or expectations or scolding yourself or etc. I just do believe that there are things that you can do, and as someone's willpower and self-discipline develops, they can overcome their depression. I think depression is a mindset.
I'm sorry if you did. Also people make mistakes and I understand that once you're there (already upset by something) it's difficult to let it go 
